50 Percent Chance
by Gingersoup
Summary: Set in the real world. Sakura Haruno finds her life flipped upside down as she's diagnosed with Leukemia. Her dreams of becoming Prom Queen are flushed down the drain, but in their place a boy with hair like sunshine take their place. Rated T for romance.
1. Chapter 1

The paper on the bench crackles loudly as I shift positions and I wince. Why do they even have paper on these weird bed bench things? I know to keep sick people's germs away but don't they have some kind of spray for that? I sigh and my mom flips through her magazine, bobbing her foot up and down.

"Stop sighing, we made a deal," She says and I stifle a groan. I made a deal with her that if I could go to school tomorrow while sick, I wouldn't make a peep.

"I know. But it's just you know how much I hate hospitals!" I say.

"Sakura, this isn't even a hospital. It's a doctor's office," She rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, close enough," I mumble and close my eyes, trying to shield them from the light. I've had a pounding headache since I woke up and I've spent the rest of the day with the aches and chills. Today is just not my day.

I hear someone knock at the door and I open my eyes, watching the doctor enter. She has short black hair and a kind face, her eyes are glued to a clipboard with what I'm guessing is my medical record. She looks up at me and smiles.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Shizune," She looks down at my mom and they shake hands.

"Hi," I say weakly and my mom shoots me a warning look.

"So, what seems to be the problem today?" Doctor Shizune asks.

"Well, she's been having aches and pains all day," My mom says and I just sit on the crackly paper, sulking.

"I can tell her myself," I snap, she's not even fazed, "I also had the chills. And my bones have been aching quiet badly," I finish, looking at the doctor.

She nods and rolls up her sleeves, "Ah, I see," She sets her clipboard down and pulls on a pair of latex gloves.

"Could you look up for me, Sakura?" She asks and I oblige.

She massages around my jaw and pauses at my lymph nodes, or I think that's what they're called. Her eyebrows furrow, "Does this hurt?" She asks, rubbing them with her thumbs. I shake my head.

Doctor Shizune's mouth sets in a tight line and jots some notes down onto her paper. My eyes widen.

Oh no! A flu is the last thing I need this week. It's homecoming week and I'm royalty. I was born to be Prom Queen; I spent half of my childhood wearing a plastic tiara and writing my acceptance speech. I still haven't finished it, though.

She lifts up my arm and feels my armpit in a similar manner, I stifle my giggles. I've always been really ticklish. Shizune's look becomes more focused.

"Could you lie down for me?" She asks and I lay on my back, causing the paper to crackle again.

She feels my stomach, pushing gently against my soft skin. I shiver.

Karin will be delighted to know that I have the flu. But I won't let that stop me from getting my crown. Who does she think she is, anyway? She wasn't even interested in becoming royalty until she learned I was!

"Hmmm," The doctor hums and I sit back up, pulling my shirt down.

She jots something quickly down in her clipboard, "I'll need to do a few more tests. But I don't think it's anything to worry about," She says and smiles reassuringly at us, although it doesn't reach her eyes. I smile back and so does my mom.

When she leaves the room my mom looks at the door, a thoughtful look on her face, "That was weird. I feel like there's something wrong," She says and I nod.

"It did kind of seem odd, the way she was 'hmmm'-ing and looking very concentrated," I note, checking my reflection out in the mirror, smoothing down my blossom colored hair. The part is weird and I attempt to fix it, only managing making it worse. I growl in frustration and my mom sighs.

"Sakura your hair looks fine. Beautiful, like always."

"I know but I just wanted to make sure."

There's a silence that fills the small examination room, my mom isn't even reading her magazine. She's fiddling with her hands, obviously nervous.

"Oh don't worry mom, I'm sure it's nothing," I say, trying not to roll my eyes. My mom and I have been on rocky terms lately and something small like an eye roll could spark a fight.

"You're probably right. But there was just something isn't sitting right with me," My mom says and right after a soft knock sounds at the door.

"Come in," I call and watch Doctor Shizune walk in, holding a few tubes and something I can't see.

"I'll just need some blood, you see," She says and I feel my face go pale.

"What? Why?" I ask, feeling queasy.

"Now don't worry, it's just a little prick. You'll barely feel it," The doctor says, suddenly seeming evil to me. I want to fling open the door and run away, away from the needle I see her pulling out.

"It's okay, honey. It will be over in a second," My mom comforts me and makes her way over to me, smoothing my hair down in a mother-like fashion.

I can't look when she cleans a spot on my arm, right near a vein. I hold my breath and wait for the pain to come. I hate needles, they've always scared me.

Several moments pass by and I wonder when she will _just stick the god damn needle in me and get it over with_.

"Alright. All done," I hear her say and I whip my head around to see a small needle being pulled out. I couldn't even feel it.

"Really?" I breath, bringing my arm closer to my face to inspect my battle wound, "Wow. That didn't hurt at all." I smile triumphantly.

"You're free to go. I'll just call your house later with the outcome," Shizune smiles at my mom and I feel relieved. We're finally out of this dreaded place.

I can't wait to tell Ino about how I didn't even flinch. I pause at the thought and laugh at how much I sound like a 5 year old.

. . .

I'm sitting in my room, doing my homework with Hinata on Skype when I hear the phone ring.

"I'll get it! It might be the doctor!" My mom calls.

"Okay!" I call back.

"Oh yeah, how was your doctor's appointment?" Hinata asks and I look at my screen, she looks worried.

"It was actually not that bad," I roll off, putting my pencil down and focusing on her, "I actually had my blood drawn and I couldn't even feel it!" I grin and Hinata smiles.

"Don't you hate needles?" She says in a light, sing-song voice. I've always been jealous of her voice; It's so light and soft and boys love it.

"Yeah. But it was weird, and I didn't even throw up when she-" I start to say but stop, I'm interrupted by a loud bang in the kitchen.

"What was that?" I hear Hinata say but I'm already up and out my bedroom door.

"Mom?" I call worriedly, rushing to the kitchen. When I find her she's on the floor, a chair knocked over. Tears are running down her face and panic shoots through me.

"Mom? What's wrong?" I pad over to her crumpled form, bending down.

"Ms. Haruno?" I hear on the other side of her and I look over her, the phone is on the ground. "Ms. Haruno are you okay?"

I pick the receiver up and put it to my ear, "I'm sorry but she's crying, who is this?" I ask, hoping it's my dad so I can chew him out. But it's a feminine voice that comes back to me.

"..Sakura? It's Doctor Shizune," I hear and my I feel my blood run cold, what did she say that made my mom cry?

"Yes?" I swallow dryly.

"Your tests have come back, we did a very routine blood test. We've found something," She says and I feel my hands go numb.

"What?" I ask shakily and my mom starts sobbing on the floor, the sound of it breaks my heart.

"I'm afraid to inform you that you have been diagnosed with Leukemia."

* * *

_That's my first chapter! I intend to update regularly, but it might be a little sporadic. I'm sorry. AHAHAHA. No really, I am._

_Review, remoo, repoo, rerue. Those weren't words. But regardless, review!~_


	2. Chapter 2

When I was ten I went to the hospital because of a shattered ankle I got during soccer practice, but I don't remember it feeling like this.

Although the lobby is brightly lit and open, it feels suffocatingly small. There's an antiseptic smell to the place, I can't seem to escape it; It's in the bathrooms, the halls, the small room with all of the vending machines and in this waiting room. My mom fumbles with her crumpled tissue and I flip through a magazine filled with glossy pictures of beautiful women and perfume, I really don't want to look around anymore. I feel so drained and week I just want to curl up on the modern looking carpet and fall asleep.

We're supposed to see the doctor soon, but it seems to be taking forever. Plus, my lip is chapped and raw from chewing it. Regardless of my fatigue I've never felt so nervous before, what will they have to do with me? Am I going to have to start Chemotherapy treatments? My hand flies to my hair, am I going to lose it?

I really, really don't want to lose my hair. I've spent 2 years growing it out!

My hair is the only thing going for me; I mean, naturally pink hair? I'm practically the only one in the town with it. It's my ticket for winning Prom queen! An image of a tiara being daintily put on Karin's fat head makes my hands clench and anger shoot through me. She can't win, she won little Miss Konoha when we were five, it's _my_ turn to wear the crown.

"Look. There's a piano," My mom whispers next to me and I look at her like she's insane. She points and I look to the corner of the room. I see a grand piano nestled happily in a sun kissed corner, I look back to my mom and her eyes are red from crying and she has a tight smile on her face; She wants me to play.

She _is _insane.

"Mom, I haven't played in years," I say. She takes a shaky breath and just nods sadly.

"I understand," She says and I feel guilty.

"Haruno Sakura?" We hear and both look up at a plump nurse wearing Scooby scrubs, I stand up shakily and my mom follows. The nurse gives me a reassuring smile and leads us through two large doors she has to punch a code into. It opens up into a hallway with hospital rooms surrounding us, although I can't see in, there are curtains blocking my view.

We're to wait in _another _small waiting room. I'm so sick of waiting I could probably just pee on the walls.

_Woah_, that was a weird thought.

After a bit a knock comes from the door and it opens, revealing a very young looking doctor looking at something on a clipboard. He looks about my age and has bright sunshine hair, along with a very sunny smile.

"Hi," My mom greets him uncertainly. "I'm sorry but, you seem a little young to be a doctor," I nod in agreement. Either he's a genius or we're on the wrong floor, this IS the cancer treatment floor, right?

"Everyone says that," He gives my mom a charming smile and sits down on the sofa across from us after he shakes our hands. "I'm Dr. Uzumaki."

"You're Sakura?" He asks as he turns his blue gaze to me, I nod. I can't help but gape at him, how old was he when he was accepted into medical school? 12?

"So, we checked your blood again and it does seem that you're going to be here for a while," He comments and clasps his hands together, placing his elbows on his knees, "But don't worry about it. The food here is five stars and the beds are very comfortable," He says and leans back, folding his hands behind his head.

I don't understand, what the hell is he saying? What kind of a doctor is this?

"Um, excuse me?" I say, trying to hold back my irritation. Wouldn't want to punch a child genius, it might make his brain smaller.

"The only problems are the lack of cute girl patients," He rolls off and my mom gasps, he looks me up and down, that stupid grin on his face again "But you're pretty cute," He says and my face flushes warm with anger.

I may be sick and weak but that won't stop me from letting him have it. I'm about to start when someone else beats me to it.

"NARUTO!" The name is growled right outside of the door and it swings open, knocking over a lamp and shattering it on the floor. A woman with dirty blonde hair in low pigtails is fuming, her strikingly beautiful face red. The "doctor" stands up and puts his hands up in a calming motion.

"Oh, hey granny! I was just warming these two lovely ladies up for you," He says and laughs nervously, backing farther into the small room.

"GET. OUT. NOW." The scary woman grabs his ear and drags him out of the room with a chorus of complaints and hissing noises coming from the boy called Naruto.

My mom and I just sit in the now quiet room, eyes wide and looking at each other. What the hell just happened? Mom's hands are shaking and she looks like she wants to cry.

"Mom? Are you okay?"

"They're supposed to be helping us and they're having trouble with some punk teenager!" She cries and puts her head in her hands.

"Mom, it's okay. Don't cry," I say and rub her back, finding it ironic how I'm the one comforting her. "Everything will turn out okay."

As I'm saying this I really don't know if it's true, I don't know the first thing about Cancer, let alone Leukemia. Will I be in pain? Hell, I'm already in pain. How are things going to be in school? Will I still go to school? I gasp out loud and my hand pauses on my mother's back, what if I can't be Prom Queen?

"I-I'm sorry, Sakura," My mom rasps and sits up, wiping at her eyes. "I'm being inconsiderate."

"No, you're fine," I say absently, letting both of my hands fall limply in my lap. I study them, they're the hands I've always had, petite and unscarred. Underneath the skin are my bones, the bones I've had ever since I was born, they grew with me and help me function everyday. Are they really the bones that have cancer? I pull my palm up to face me, squinting at the soft pinkish skin, as if trying to see through it. What does Leukemia even look like?

The door opens again and the same strong, busty doctor walks in. She looks apologetically at my mother and I and closes the door behind her with a soft click.

"I would like to apologize. I know that that really wasn't what you needed at a time like this," She says formally and sits down across from us, holding her hand out for my mom to shake. "I'm Doctor Tsunade."

My mom stares at her hand with wet and absent eyes, not making a move to grab it, so instead I take hold of it. Our hands grip, our skin brushing together, warm and dry on cold and clammy, healthy on sick. I apologize for my mother, Dr. Tsunade just nods. She must get a lot of distressed mothers in her line of work.

"That was one of our patients, he likes to run amuck and cause trouble," Tsunade sighs and folds her legs, flipping through her files. She seems like the kind of woman I'd get along with. No non-sense, strong, smart, healing.

"So, do you think you can tell us-" I start but I'm interrupted.

"Oh! Yes, I'm sorry. I've forgotten with everything happening," She says and snaps her folder shut, giving me her full attention.

"Leukemia is cancer that starts in the tissue that forms blood," Dr. Tsunade explains and I glance at my mom, she's staring at the Doctor with no recognition or understanding on her face. She's checked out. Again.

She hasn't done this since Dad left us.

It's time for me to step up for myself. I listen carefully and I try to understand her as she explains why I have it. My head is flooded with images of red blood cells flowing through my veins but being intercepted and slowed by overcrowded leukemia cells, since they don't die when they should. The bone marrow is where most new cells come from, but for some reason in me, it's decided to spit out too many and too strange white blood cells.

She then goes to treatment options, but pauses and gives me a look, "Did you get all of that? Do you have any questions?"

"Nope."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I got it," I say with ease, I'm not taking 5 AP courses for nothing. Once I learn something it's quite easy to grasp and I don't forget it for a while. Tsunade looks impressed and then turns to my mother.

"Do you have any questions, Mrs. Haruno?" She asks my unresponsive mother, it seems to dimly pull her out of some kind of trance.

"Why did this happen to my baby?" My Mom asks, barely speaking in a whisper. More tears flood her eyes and I have to change the subject.

"So, what was this about treatments?" I ask, Tsunade drags her narrowed gaze from my mom to me. She doesn't like how my mom is responding. Shit.

"Well, your type of leukemia is acute leukemia, meaning that it's at a later stage. It also progresses quickly, so we need to start treatments right away to destroy the signs and make the symptoms go away," She says and I nod, the air knocked out of me. I may not have gone to medical school, but I know that when something is progressing quickly it's not a good thing.

"What?" My mom pipes up next to me, I look at her. There's awareness back into her eyes and I could almost cry out in relief.

"This is called a remission. After people go into remission, more therapy may be given to prevent a relapse," Dr. Tsunade expands, my mom nods.

"And the survival rate of… Acute leukemia?" Mom asks cautiously, I catch myself holding my breath.

"Well in children the survival rate is 85 percent, but for your age, weight and current health I would say about…" Her eyes flick from my mom to me. "50 percent."

I feel my manicured nails dig into my palms. I look down at them and let my hair act as a pink curtain to hide my face. 50 percent. There's a 50 percent chance that I could die. The reality of the situation slaps me in my face and I feel two pairs of eyes bearing down on me.

"I need to go the bathroom," I choke out and leave the suddenly unbearable room as quickly as I can.

I stumble blindly down the hallway, looking for the bathroom. 50 percent. One half. I suck in air and try to steady myself on the wall. I could die.

I can't die! I'm only 16.

I begin to make my way once again down the hallway, searching for the bathroom. My heart could stop beating and my breathing could still. I turn corners and wind my way through the antiseptic smelling cancer ward. Where is it? Where the hell is that god damned bathroom? The edges of my vision blur and sparkle and I have to stop and crouch low to the ground, head between my knees. My fingers find their way into my pink hair. I try to calm down, but the panic in me just keeps bubbling up. Soon it's spilling over along with my tears.

"Where is it?" I shout to no one in particular, emotion cracking my voice.

"Where is what?" Someone asks behind me and I stand and turn around quickly, trying to compose myself. It's the boy, Naruto. My eyes narrow when I see him, but he just leans against the wall with his arms crossed. He looks at me with curiosity and just a smidge of worry.

"The- The bathroom." I say, wiping any tears that might be lingering away.

He points right behind me and I see a door with the generic icon of a girl.

"Oh," I say dumbly as I turn back to him.

"You're welcome."

"Hey! I didn't need your help," I say in a huff, nose in the air. I'm acting quite normal for still being a little ruffled from my near mental breakdown.

"Uh-huh," Naruto says skeptically and smiles a one hundred watt smile. I ignore the fluttering in my heart as he pulls himself off the wall and walks toward me, one hand in his pocket, "See you around, Pinky." He rolls off and pats me on my shoulder, pausing beside me.

I'm about to turn around and tell him not to call me that when I see Dr. Tsunade and my mother turn the corner in front of me. My mother looks relieved and rushes up to me, I assure her that I'm okay as she smoothes my hair down. I tell her I found the bathroom and I feel fine. Well, fine besides the seemingly permanent migraine that thunders inside my head 24/7.

"Why are you standing in the middle of the hall, anyway?" Dr. Tsunade asks me.

"Well I was just talking to-" I turn around to show them Naruto but when I look he's gone.

"No one, apparently."

"Well, no one seems to have done a good job at cheering you up," Tsunade comments and pats my shoulder like a certain boy had done not one minute ago. My mom and I watch her walk down the hall.

I realize she's right, Naruto _did_ do a pretty good job of cheering me up. He didn't even have to do much: just a flash of that crooked grin and the knot in my stomach unraveled, even if it was for just a second.

"Let's go home, Dr. Tsunade and I already arranged treatments," My mom suggests and I nod thankfully, a warm bed is just what I need right now.

Before we step out of the hospital I take one more look around for a flash of yellow, but I don't see one.

I'm surprised to feel a familiar feeling wash over me: disappointment.

* * *

_Wow! What a great response to the first chapter! This is really amazing. _

_Review, let me know what you think. _

_You don't have to, I mean it's not like I'm hiding under your bed ready to attack you or anything... -cough cough- _


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing you see in the morning should never be the cracks between your wall and your wooden floor. So why am I untangling myself from my sheets as I look around and find myself on my floor?

I don't remember falling asleep there and I definitely don't remember falling off of my bed. Who knew that having cancer makes you such a heavy sleeper? The rawness of the thought makes me swallow and I pull myself up, shivering as my skin comes into contact with the cold air. Goosebumps erupt on my exposed legs and arms, I grab my blanket and shuffle to the bathroom.

I wince as I see my reflection, I look hideous: dark circles under my eyes, hair wild, my emerald eyes lacking the usual sparkle and forehead looking large and not proportionate. Well, I guess that's always been the case.

I go through my morning routine sluggishly, I even have to wear concealer; I normally only have to use it for that odd pimple or breakout. After I'm washed, dried and primped I shuffle back to my room. My stores of energy are already drained. Is this how it's always going to be?

I decide that I want to go to school, I need something normal and familiar to get my head on straight. I'm looking forward to everything being regular like it used to be.

I try to focus on one thing at a time: making it to my bedroom, finding warm, cute clothes, finishing up my homework and finding my car keys. I always lose them, _always_. I groan as I flip through my desk drawers, can't the universe just give me a break, just this once?

I'm almost out the door when my mom stops me.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asks me, drying her hands on a towel in the kitchen doorway. My shoulders slump and I look at my hand gripping the door knob.

"School."

"I don't think so, you need to rest," Mom says and walks toward me, I look up at her and see dark circles identical to my own underneath her eyes. She's taking this just as hard. Maybe even harder.

"But we had a deal!" I say, not helping the whine that leaks into my voice.

"That was before you got sick," She grabs my elbow and ushers me back down the hallway.

"I had cancer even then, Mom!" I exclaim and she flinches, dropping my arm like I burned her.

"Don't say that word," She whispers, looking at the floor. I watch as her face crumples and for some reason anger shoots through me.

"What word? Cancer?" She winces in response, another hot whip of anger, "Cancer! I have it, Mom! Cancer, cancer, cancer!" I shout, not caring if the neighbors hear. I can't explain my strange, furious responses.

"The sooner you can say the word and accept the fact that I have it the sooner I can get treated!" I point at her and she can't look at me, her shaking hand covers her mouth as she cries silently.

Before I think to apologize or stay, I turn around and stomp down the hall and out the door.

I pause and cough halfway down the driveway; I must be catching a cold on top of everything. My polite coughs turn uglier and I hack into my elbow. I shake myself when my coughing fit is over and I get into my little bug. I start it and make my way to school.

. . .

If this were any other day I would just unbuckle, gather my things and step confidently onto the asphalt. But this isn't any other day. The confidence that I'd have a normal day today wavers as I pull into the parking lot full of laughing, joking teens. I stare up at the magnificent building that is Konoha High.

I used to feel like I was one of them, now I feel like I've suddenly been wrenched out of their status and into a new one; I'm no longer Sakura, the popular girl.

I'm Sakura, the girl with leukemia.

I sit in my car, listening to the muffled sounds of life outside. I don't think I can do this. I was stupid for thinking I could just walk in like nothing was wrong with me. I should have just listened to my mom. Guilt runs through me as I rerun what I said to her in my head.

I'm a terrible daughter.

I mean, sure I can pretend like nothing's wrong. But people are going to find out eventually, Dr. Tsunade has undoubtedly informed the school nurse and principal.

My head is on my steering wheel as I grumble to myself when I hear three soft knocks on my window. I look up in surprise to see Hinata peering in through my window at me in worry.

Oh, _shit. _I just left Hinata on skype in my hurry and confusion to get to the hospital! I give her an apologetic smile and quickly unbuckle, I step out of the car with my bag.

"Hey, Hinata."

"Hey, Sakura-chan. What happened yesterday? Where'd you go?" She asks me in her soft voice, light eyes filled with concern.

"Well.. I-" I start but quickly realize that I can't lie to this girl; she's just too caring and nice. If anyone I know I can trust _her_ with the news.

"Okay, Hinata. I'll tell you, but you can't let anyone know. Okay?" I say in a low voice and look around for anyone listening, but everyone is either trickling out of the parking lot or distracted with their friends. Hinata's eyes widen in surprise as I pull her closer to my car and away from any prying eyes.

She nods and I take a deep breath.

"I went to the hospital because I was diagnosed with leukemia," I say it all in one long rush and Hinata stares at me, stunned.

"What?" She squeaks out and tears fill her eyes.

"No, no. Don't cry, Hinata," I say and my brave exterior crumples at the sight of the crying girl in front of me. I pull her into a hug.

"How can you h- have cancer?" She cries into her hands and I just barely manage to not cry, myself.

"The doctor thinks mine is a genetic case, but - _shh, Hinata _please be quieter," I try to shush her as her whimpers turn a little loud and several heads turn our way.

"I-I'm sorry but that's just so _horrible_," She pulls away from me and her face is pink from crying. I straighten out my clothes and pull my backpack onto my back right as the bell rings.

"Come on, Hinata. It's okay. Let's get to class," I comfort her and she tries to compose herself.

"How could this happen?" She asks and my heart squeezes as she says goodbye to me and hurries off to class.

"Hinata!" I call, she turns around. "Don't tell anyone!" I can see uncertainty pass through her features but she nods regardless and I know I can trust her.

. . .

"Wow, forehead. You look worse than normal," I hear my best friend's voice say as she plops down into the seat next to me during Honors Algebra.

"Thanks, Ino. You always know what to say," I smile bitterly at her and turn my attention back to my planner, focusing on what I have to do after school. I write "HOSPITAL" in tomorrow's slot after "Chemistry homework" and "World History, Pages 113-120"

"Hospital?" Ino asks, her voice right in my ear. I flinch and flip my planner shut quickly. That damn nosy girl. "Why are you going to the hospital tomorrow?"

"Oh, just a check up," I lie, trying to hide my face from her as I shove my planner into my bag.

"Oh-_kay_," She says in a voice that says she knows I'm lying.

"I haven't felt good lately," I state simply, which really isn't a lie.

Ino is about to say something but the elderly teacher begins his lecture in a monotone voice and she settles on shooting me a suspicious glance as we begin to take our notes.

. . .

It's amazing how so many things can change and stay the same all at the same time. Since I've come back it's like nothing is different at all but me. I feel like I've gone into a time machine: Sasuke still ignores my existent, Ino is still ridiculously annoying, Karin is still a god-awful bitch, and the rest of the gang act just as wild and reckless as normal.

I know that if I ever tell them I have cancer, this would all change. They would all be different around me, they would treat me like some sort of porcelain doll that needs to be handled quietly and delicately. There's a chance I might not live, and if I don't… I just want my last few years as _normal_ as possible.

I'm walking during passing period with Kiba, Lee and Ino when my secret is almost given away. We walk past the administrators office and the principal stops me, a sorrowful look in his eye. He places a heavy hand on my shoulder.

"If you need anything, or anyone to talk to… My office is open," He says in a deep voice and I nod thankfully, panicking on the inside about my friends reactions. I can feel their confusion around me.

"Thanks," I say and quickly make my way away from the good intentional principal.

"Oi! What was that about?" Kiba asks and jogs up to me in the busy hallway, Lee and Ino do the same.

"It was nothing," I snap and try to change the subject by asking Kiba who he's taking to prom; he immediately takes the bait and starts gushing about asking Hinata. Thankfully his skull is so thick he forgets about his question and I'm relieved at the fact that Lee is just a naturally trusting person, but I can feel Ino's glare burning into the back of my head.

The only two people who suspect something so far are Ino and Sasuke. Sasuke and I have a very strange relationship: he's my ex-boyfriend, but he's also a friend of mine (although he doesn't like to admit it). We both care for each other, even though he likes to pretend that I don't exist in front of crowds.

Oh, I'm also still in love with him. A little. Just a smidge.

Okay, a lot. But he's way over me, I don't even know why I still like him.

So imagine my surprise when he pulls up a chair next to me during art and talks to me in a quiet voice.

"What was wrong with Hinata this morning?" He asks me and my paintbrush almost goes flying out of my hand as I squeak in surprise.

"W-what do you mean?" I ask, trying to laugh it off. He's so close I can smell him and it's unnerving. He does that to people, he knows what makes them tick.

"She was crying this morning after you told her something," He looks at me and I look down at the horrible painting I'm attempting to make decent. I really can't paint. I can play piano but that's the only thing my brain can handle artistically.

"My goldfish died last night and I told her," I say, choosing to lie. I look at him and he looks at me, his onyx eyes challenging me. I can see that he doesn't believe me.

"I didn't know you had a goldfish."

"Oh, I do," I don't.

"What's his name?"

"Paint," I blurt stupidly and resist the urge to slap myself in the face. Paint! What the hell kind of a name is that? There's paint all around me and it's the first thing I saw.

"Mhhmmm," He hums, apparently unconvinced and leaves. I watch him sit with his brooding friends that he's adopted since he left our circle of friends, Diedara, Sasori and Hidan. Hidan winks at me and I shudder. When I turn back to my "art" I immediately face-palm.

_Paint?_

_. . . _

I managed to go the whole day without thinking of Prom but soon that astounding record was ruined at lunch. Lee and Shino are my campaign managers and they report to me dutifully as I take my measly lunch of an apple and skim milk to our usual table. I don't feel like I can handle much more, my hands shake as I hold my lightweight tray.

"Sakura-san!" Lee salutes to me, I stifle a groan as I sit down in my spot between Neji and Ino. I really don't have the energy to deal with Lee.

"Yeah?"

"Bad news, Shino has discovered that Karin's popularity has risen 3 percent since we last checked. That is only 15 percent behind you," He says and I feel annoyed. I thought I had this whole popularity thing in the bag, Karin is a bitch to everyone. I'm decent. How the hell is she becoming more popular?

"What? How do you know? Why?" I ask Shino and turn around and I remember I'm talking to: Shino, the guy with the trench coat and the dark glasses shrouding his eyes from view. He looks ridiculously different from the great ball of energy that is Lee. He knows things, no one knows how, but he does.

"I have my sources. And they say she's throwing a party this Friday, " He says in a deep voice and I just nod. Of course, using alcoholic beverages, loud music, and a pool to gain leverage over for me.

"Hey, d-don't worry about it Sakura-chan!" I hear a light voice say from across the table, I turn and see Hinata fighting tears, "You'll win it for sure!"

I smile sadly at her as I remember what she knows and that's the moment she breaks down in tears and flees the cafeteria, Kiba trailing after her. Neji and Ino both glare at me, unsure of what I did to offend her but sure that I was the one who did it.

"Tsk. Girls," Shikamaru says, pushing his lunch around on his plate. Half of the table glares at him and he holds his hands up in surrender, "I just don't understand them."

"What was that?" Neji turns his attention back to me, I swallow.

"How am I supposed to know?" I look down at my tray, my knuckles white from gripping it so hard. I didn't think Hinata would be so devastated. I'm no longer hungry; everything is going terribly, terribly wrong. I'm supposed to come here and I'm supposed to feel better.

"I have to go to the library," I say, abruptly getting up from my spot and dropping my tray next to Chouji's own buffet of a lunch.

"Thanks Sakura-chan!" He says through a full mouth and I just nod in response, afraid of what'll happen if I open my mouth to talk.

My friends watch me walk away and I hear, "What's wrong with her?"

With my fists clenched and eyes bursting I make my way out of the cafeteria, which is alive and loud with kids who don't know I'm two seconds away from sobbing.

I catch several glares from Karin's table of friends and that's pretty much the tipping point; I break out into a run and find myself nestled beneath an oak table in the library.

Here the only things that are around to witness me crying are books and plush reading couches. I'm thankful for that; I just hope they won't judge me.

I laugh through my tears but it morphs into a strangled sob. I'm worried about inanimate objects judging me, how the hell am I going to manage when actual people know what's wrong with me?

* * *

_Another chapter! Sorry there wasn't any Naruto/Sakura in this one. There will be in the next chapter, I assure you. _

_Oh, and don't worry about the whole Sakura-still-loves-Sasuke thing; It won't turn into anything. _

_Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your keyboards and REVIEW!_


	4. Chapter 4

I've skipped school today, partly because I can't imagine going back after how badly it went yesterday, and partly because today I start treatment.

Treatment as in chemotherapy. Chemotherapy as in hair loss. Hair loss as in bald. This is the first day I've missed since I was a freshman and I had the flu.

I try to calm myself as I'm ushered into a room with several comfortable looking recliners with IV drips standing next to them. How cute, it's like a little social chemo party where everyone is miserable and bald and in pain. I'm the only one in here because it's in the middle of the week and most people get treatment on Fridays. That's perfectly fine with me.

As I'm sat into a recliner nerves take hold of me. The inside of my arm is cleaned with alcohol wipes. My mind flicks through all of the side effects.

_Bald._

I wince as a nurse with a plump frame sticks a needle and puts a small tube into the same crook of my elbow.

_In pain._

Another, skinnier, nurse sets the bag of chemo (or whatever it is) up and attaches it to my tube.

The nurses offer me an informational packet about chemotherapy but I shake my head but thank them anyway; I did my research last night and after about five minutes of reading I promptly shut my laptop and threw it down onto my bed. Everything I've read about chemo is horrible, reading more about it would just make me even more nervous.

After fussing over me some more and making sure I'm comfortable, they set a timer and leave. I breath a sigh of relief and look around the room, it's a modernly furnished and colorful room with curtains open to reveal a dazzling view of the city. Really I just want to look anywhere else than at the liquid that's flowing into my veins. A TV is hung on the wall across from the recliner I'm in; it's a hockey game between two colleges, how boring. Maybe I can change it to something more interesting like Cartoonetwork or the cooking channel.

I look around for the remote and I find it on the table across the room. I groan in frustration and settle for pulling out my phone and checking Facebook.

But when I open up to my phone's background a lump forms in my throat, a picture of my mom and I in our swimsuits in front of my dad's boat greets me. We both look so happy, she has her arm wrapped around me and our faces are absolutely radiant, the wind tossing our pink hair.

The room feels desperately empty and I resist the urge to cry, she should be here with me right now. When I tried to get her to come with me she just stared at the wall, eyes empty and vacant. I knew immediately that there was no reaching her, when her and Dad got divorced she was like that for a month. She barely ate, barely drank, barely slept. She occasionally muttered the same thing over and over again.

My Mother is not a very strong individual during crises, she goes into shock and often doesn't come out for weeks.

So, after pleading for her to wake up for several hours and trying to coax her awake in every way I could think of, I left for the hospital without her. That was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do, to just leave her like that. I had to go though, and there was no way I could bring her to the hospital; Dr. Tsunade would have her locked up in the psyche ward.

I let my phone fall into my lap and settle on watching the Hockey game, not caring for the sport at all. I just want to keep my mind occupied. It actually seems like a sport I would enjoy, it's very physical. They keep shoving each other up against walls and smashing each other into the ground; I would probably excel in this sport if the opposing team was made up of a bunch of Karin clones.

"I never pegged you as a girl who likes sports," I hear next to me, I squeak in surprise and my head whips around to see Naruto reclined in the seat next to me. His sky blue eyes are on the television while I attempt to make my heart stop racing. How the hell does he do that? He appears randomly and when I least expect it.

He's like a ninja. And now, excuse me while I go into cardiac arrest.

"I actually don't care for Hockey, but if you really want to watch it that's fine," He says.

"No! I mean, no. I don't really care for it either. It was just on, I would rather have it on Cartoonetwork or something with food," I babble, something about his presence makes me so… awkward. "I just couldn't reach the remote," I lift up my arm with the IV as if to explain why I couldn't move. He lets out a chuckle and my mouth closes in a tight, angry line. Why is he laughing at me?

"Sakura. You do realize that these roll, right?" He asks and grins, pushing the IV drip away from him. Sure enough, it rolls a few feet toward me.

My face flushes when I realize he's said my name. It sounds so… Wonderful leaving those lips. I shake myself, _get your head out of the gutter, Sakura._

"But, is that safe?" I ask, not trusting the flimsy tube connecting the bag to my vein. He nods but I still hesitate, what if it fell out and the chemo spilled or something? It would probably melt all the way through the tiled floor.

Sensing my hesitation he gets up and crosses over to where the remote is and hands it to me, for a second our fingers brush and I jerk away, afraid my skin is cold and clammy.

If he notices he doesn't say anything and he settles back down onto the recliner next to me, "So, why are you here alone?"

I bite my lip and look down at the remote clenched in my hands, the button where the "7" should be is missing.

"My mom couldn't be here today," I say in what I hope is a light, nonchalant tone. Naruto doesn't question it, thankfully. He just nods his head and turns his gaze back to the television.

"Why are _you_ here alone?" I ask, curious as to why I always see him alone. It's as though he has no one to watch him or stay with him.

"My uncle Jiraya travels a lot," He offers no more.

"Your uncle?" I ask, a pink eyebrow lifting.

"Yeah, he adopted me when I was just a baby," He says and I decide that I'll find out later if I find out at all; it's none of my business. A silence settles over us filled only with the occasional beep of a machine.

"What school do you go to?" I ask, hoping to break through the silence. I know that he doesn't go to Konoha High, I would have seen him.

"Oh, I'm home schooled," He laughs and scratches his head, "I used to go to school but I'm not allowed to anymore."

I nod, but something occurs to me. Why is he in here anyway? He still has all of his hair, so it's probably not cancer… He's also here 24/7 it seems like, and he can't go to school for some reason. Whatever it is it must be worse than Leukemia, considering how I can go home and whether or not I go back to school is up to me.

I know that I'm going back, it's not even a question. Missing school is something I just don't do… Well, besides today. But this doesn't count, it's exempt since the Principal knows where I am and what I'm doing.

How am I going to go to school tomorrow? If the effects are as bad as I read… I think I might have to take another day off. The thought pains me and I wince as I imagine all of the homework I'll have over the weekend.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asks, noticing my pained expression. "Is it hurting you?" He points to my IV, a concerned look in his eyes.

I look down at it and laugh weakly, "No, I haven't even felt a thing. It's weird." The only pain I've felt from it was the initial pinch of it entering my skin.

"Good, because if it did hurt that would mean something's wrong."

I snort, "Well there _is _something wrong. A lot of things wrong actually."

"Like what?" He asks, cocking his head to the side and his blonde eyebrows furrowing.

"Well, I have _Cancer_ for one," I say bitterly, glaring at the television. He doesn't say anything, I can tell he's waiting for me to say more, fine then. "All of my plans have been ruined because of this, and on top of everything I could die."

I spit the last word and I feel my hands shaking as I run my them through my hair. I panic and pull them out and inspect them for any loose pink strands. No, none. I breath a sigh of relief and Naruto speaks up next to me.

"Everyone's going to die eventually."

"Yeah, well not everyone has a 50 percent chance of dying within the next two years."

"You're right," He nods, "But it could be worse. 50 percent actually looks good to some people," He says quietly and anger flares up inside me. I don't want to look on the bright side, I want to feel sad and I want to cry and be angry at the world.

"Well, that's fine for them, but I've never gotten anything below a 90 percent on anything," I grumble, referring to my straight A's and the timer goes off next to me, ringing.

Naruto's face scrunches up in displeasure at the noise and the rotund nurse enters the room, a small smile on her face.

"All done, dear. Your first treatment is over," She says and pulls the IV out and I suck air through my teeth in pain. After she gives me a plain bandage I look down at it, it's almost like it's sealing the acid inside my body. It feels strange, knowing that there are dangerous and deadly drugs traveling through my veins. I'm sure I'll be able to feel the effects soon but right now all I feel is a little unbalanced on my feet as I stand up.

"You can go speak to Dr. Tsunade now, she's down the hall and the first door on the right. She'll take you through what you'll be feeling and experiencing for the next week," The nurse says and I try to smile at her.

Naruto stands up from the leather recliner and grins at me, "Look's like I won't see you for a while."

"Yeah…" I sigh, sad that I won't see him for a couple weeks. "Oh!" I exclaim, remembering something. "Here's my number! We can just text each other." I pull out a paper from my purse and jot my number onto it. I hold it out. He doesn't make a move to grab it and I'm worried. Does he not like me enough to want to text or call me? Was it a stupid move on my part? Probably, most things I do are stupid nowadays.

"I don't have a phone," He says.

"You.. Don't have a phone?" I gasp.

"Nope."

"But why!" I ask, dropping my hand to my side. Everyone has a cell phone at my school, even my ancient history teacher!

He shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "I've never really needed one."

"Well.. Then maybe you can add me on Facebook?" I ask, he just shakes his head.

"Twitter?"

"Nope."

"…Myspace?" I shoot, even though no one uses it anymore. He grins sheepishly and shakes his head. _What? _Where has this kid been for the past five years?

I shake my head in confusion at the boy in front of me and look at the time, it's almost four. I should probably get home to check on Mom soon. "Well, just take this and if you ever want to talk to me just call me on an… Orderly phone, or something," I say and shove the crumpled up paper into his hand. It's the second time our hands have touched and electricity shoots through me.

"Goodbye, Naruto," I say and wave as I walk out the door. The smile that spreads on his face is contagious.

"Bye, Sakura-chan." He waves, I shut the door behind me, but not before catching a glimpse of the TV. I never changed it from the original channel; the same hockey teams are playing.

. . .

Dr. Tsunade said I would start to feel nauseas about an hour after being treated, but this is so much worse than I imagined.

I'm puking into the toilet when the phone rings, my world spinning around me. I sit up and wipe my hair away from my sweaty forehead. I let the phone ring as I wash out my mouth and put my hair up just in case I decide to lose whatever is left of my measly lunch. In the mirror my skin is pale and with a shaky hand I turn off the light. I don't want to see myself as I wash my face.

I pad down the hallway and pause by my Mom's room, I look in and see she's curled up on her side, covered in blankets. The world shifts uncomfortably beneath me and I'm worried I'll have to throw up again. After I gulp down air and steady myself on the doorway, the wave of nausea leaves me and I continue into her room.

"Mom?" I ask and walk over to her. I desperately wish she would sit up, rub her eyes and ask in a sleepy voice, "Yes, Baby?" But she doesn't.

"Mommy," My voice cracks and I bend down to pull the blanket away from her face. She's unresponsive to the gentle touches I give her, and although her eyes are open she's looking past me. Looking at something at a million miles away.

"Mommy, please," I whisper, tears leak out of my eyes and roll down my strangely hot cheeks. "I really need you right now," She doesn't react and more tears come.

"I'm scared. _Please_ wake up," Nothing.

The sobs that begin to escape me now are sobs that I've been holding in all day, I ache for her arms around me and her soothing words. I'm not supposed to be dealing with this alone, I'm supposed to have her with me every step of the way. Especially when the side effects begin.

I sit against her bed and put my head in my hands, crying. I feel so sick. There's a fire in my chest and it's radiating out into my face. I don't know if this is normal and it's scaring me.

"Why?" I shout, turning to her. "Why do you do this to me? This isn't fair! I need you!" I grip the edge of her bed right near her immobile hands, my forehead pressing against the soft mattress, my tears soak into the sheets. "Please come back to me." The broken plea has no effect on my Mom.

The phone starts ringing again and I just wish it would stop, I don't want to talk to anyone right now. Well, unless you're my mother, but then you wouldn't be calling me because you're in a mental coma.

A certain blonde haired boy's face fills my mind and I look up in surprise, what if it's him calling me? I pull myself up and I tuck my mom in once again, praying that she'll come to soon.

Wiping my cheeks I enter the kitchen and reach the receiver before it goes to voicemail.

"Hello?"

"_SAKURA HARUNO_." My name is blared out of the phone, I almost drop the thing.

"Where have you been? First you miss school, then you don't reply to my texts, and then you don't answer the phone?" Ino's voice crackles through the phone and I wince and hold the receiver out. I suddenly feel nauseas again.

"Ow."

"Don't 'Ow' me. Where were you?" Ino snaps and I sigh.

"I've been sick," I say, telling the truth. Okay, well maybe the truth is diminished in this case, but it's the truth no less!

"With what? Prom is two weeks away! If you just disappear people are gonna start forgetting about you," She tells me and we're both surprised with the next three words that spurt out of my mouth.

"I don't care!" My voice rises, emotion and sickness cracking my voice. "I don't care about Prom right now! I feel like shit!"

I'm surprised to find that this is true, my life has taken such a gigantic turn in the short time since I was nominated; that the little plastic crown means nothing to me. Maybe I should just drop out of the running, since I probably won't be able to even go. You can't have a bald queen.

Ino is silent on the other end but soon comes through, "You don't care, forehead? How sick are you? Do you want me to come over?" She asks, her angry tone replaced with a concerned one. I really _would _like it if she came over but I don't want her to see me like this, or my mom.

"No… No thank you, Ino."

"…Are you sure? You sound really shitty," She says. "I bet you look shitty too."

Despite myself I laugh, "Thanks, Ino."

"I always know what to say," She laughs too, but then she gets serious, "Remember, Sakura. I'm just a phone call away from being at your doorstep with a blanket, hot soup and a romantic comedy."

"Thank you," I rasp out, choked with emotion.

"See you tomorrow, billboard brow."

"See you, piggy." We hang up. I rest my head against the kitchen wall, trying to muster up some courage and strength.

I realize that I'm going to school tomorrow, for better or worse.

…Most likely for worse.

* * *

_So, Sakura's going to school. DUN DUN DUN. Nah, but really I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We learn more about Naruto, too. And yes, his parents are dead. Aww, don't be too sad._

_Did you like it? Hate it? Tell me! Want to ask me something? Do it! I've been updating about every 4 or 5 days so I've been doing good._

_Review, y'all. I'll love you more than white bread. (I already do.)_


	5. Chapter 5

"_...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit." _

― _Lemony Snicket_

* * *

When I wake up I'm absolutely starving, and yet the idea of food makes me want to vomit. How does that even work? It's totally unfair. The heat that was radiating out of my chest yesterday is still seeping through me and I'm even weaker; I should have figured that I wasn't going to get better overnight, I'm just going to get worse.

I decide it's time to check on my Mother. When I find her she's off her bed and on the floor next to it. She's right near the spot I was sitting when I was crying. Her legs are drawn up to her chin and her arms are wrapped around them. I gasp in surprise when I see and I rush over to her, maybe she's awake!

"Mom?" I ask and bend down next to her, brushing her graying pink hair out of her face. She doesn't react and the hope rushes out of me as quickly as it entered me. I was expecting her to be awake, it was a stupid thing to expect. In my disappointment and anger I stand up too quickly and almost fall over, stars exploding in my vision.

I hate being sick. I hate my mother being like this. I hate still having to go about life like nothing is wrong. The familiar lump in my throat returns but I swallow it away. It doesn't matter how sick I am or how much I want to cry and scream, my mom needs me. I have to help her.

"Alright, time get clean," I say through gritted teeth as I lift her to her feet with my weak and shaky arms. It's amazing I can even do that.

I lead her to her bathroom and she walks like a zombie, except she's not trying to kill me and eat my brains… I think I would prefer that nightmare to this nightmare.

I sit her down on the toilet with the lid closed and check my phone for the time. It's five in the morning, I have two hours until I need to leave.

I run warm water in the tub and I use that time to rummage around my mom's medicine cabinet for Advil, hoping that it will help. I can't find any and I realize that I don't even know what kind of reaction the Advil would have with me. I'm not thinking clearly because of this nausea and fire and hunger and pain. I close the cabinet in disgust and settle on closing my eyes and breathing through my mouth as I have the urge to puke.

I shake myself and roll up my sleeves once I see the tub is full.

I bathe my mother.

I haven't done this for a year but it feels like it was just yesterday. I feel annoyed and pissed once she's dressed and back in bed, I shouldn't have to do this. No _other _16 year old girl has to bathe and dress her own Mom, and especially no 16 year old girl with leukemia.

Feeling angry and sorry for myself, I dress in warm clothes and check my hair in the mirror. I'm not losing it yet, thankfully. I decide to skip makeup today, I don't want to push my luck with mascara; I mean, don't you lose _all _of your hair, including your eyelashes?

I do my homework at the kitchen table, although it's kind of hard to focus on balancing equations when you're starving. I decide on a rice cake, because it's the only thing I can stomach. It feels so good to have something in my stomach I eat another. And another.

I then promptly lose all three in the sink, retching until there's nothing left.

My phone vibrates as I'm washing my puke down the drain, revolted with myself. I shouldn't have eaten so much so quickly.

When I check my phone I see it's a text from Sasuke, the normal butterflies I would get if I saw his name on my phone are absent.

_Are you coming to school today? _I read and sigh, why does he even care?

_Yes. _I begrudgingly text back.

_Good. We need to talk. _I get back and I feel dread knot in my stomach. What do we need to talk about? Does he know?

I shake my head and pack my homework up. I don't want to talk to Sasuke, but it's virtually impossible to avoid him since I have four classes with him.

I check on my mom and leave some food on her night stand, in the slim chance she'll wake up to eat. As I stand in my spotless room I look around and realize I have nothing else to do. I can't put off going to school any longer, I check my clock and I see it's 6:50.

Okay, time to put on my big girl pants.

I _don't _think about puking in health as I make my way down to my car. I also _don't_ think about having a mental breakdown during lunch while I start my car. And there's _no way _I run through all of the scenarios of how my secret could be revealed as I pull into the school parking lot. Nope, not a chance.

But what I _do_ imagine is smashing Karin's head on a rock as I step out of my car and hear her jeering voice behind me.

"Look what the cat dragged in," She says and her posse erupts into unattractive snorting giggles. "Why weren't you in school yesterday? First time you've missed since freshman year. You're probably afraid of facing me."

My hands clench but I try to ignore her. I begin to walk to the school, I refuse give her the satisfaction of a reaction.

"See? She's not even facing you now, Karin. You're right," One of her friends squeaks and I would like to do nothing more than turn around and give her a piece of my mind. Unfortunately I really don't have enough mind that's not being cooked by deadly drugs to go around.

. . .

By some miracle, I get through the first half of the day without puking or curling up on the cold tiled floor. I come close, but thankfully each sharp jab of nausea leaves as abruptly and quickly as it comes. And regardless of my disgust of food my stomach keeps growling.

I struggle through each class pale-faced and not opening my mouth to comment or ask a question once. The few teachers that know of my condition say nothing and give me sad glances while other teachers' eyebrows are furrowed when my hand doesn't shoot into the air.

_Sakura Haruno misses a day and doesn't participate in class? Something must be wrong_… They're right, of course. My friends are even more worried than the teachers when they see me at lunch, not eating anything at all and looking miserable.

My head is on the lunch table with my cotton candy hair splayed out around me, my stomach growling and flipping at the same time. The smell of food makes me gag.

"Sakura," A deep voice says behind me and I grumble in response.

"Sakura, we need to talk," Another, female voice says. Oh, great. Here we go.

"No," I mumble, forehead still pressed to the table.

Ino and Sasuke lift me up by my arms and practically drag me out of the cafeteria. People stop mid-conversation and stare at me as I pass by them. My face heats up. Ino waves them away with an excuse of me not feeling well. Great, now I'm Sakura: The crazy, needs to be restrained by her friends, girl.

"Guys. Stop, I can walk by myself," I snap and pull my arms out of their grasps as we enter an abandoned classroom. "Just because I'm sick it doesn't mean that I can't do things on my own."

They look at each other pointedly and they seem to have a conversation just through eye contact. Sasuke makes his way behind me and shuts the classroom door with a quiet click.

"That's what we want to talk to about with you," Ino says and crosses her arms. I gulp.

"What is wrong with you that makes Hinata burst into tears each time you speak? And makes you miss school so you can go to the hospital?" Sasuke asks and I glare at Ino, she told Sasuke! That traitor. She glares right back, unfazed.

"Don't give me that look, Sakura. We know something is wrong."

"Look," I force a laugh, backing up towards the door, ready to bolt. "It's just the flu! You don't need to worry."

Sasuke slaps his hand on the door as I creak it open and it slams shut, I wince in response to the loud noise. He's so close his breath tickles my neck as he speaks and goose bumps erupt on my arms.

The old Sakura would have melted to a puddle at that.

"You're staying here until we get an answer," He says and I get irritated with both of them; If I wanted to tell them, I would! And I can't believe the nerve of Sasuke, attempting to use my well-known crush on him to get answers out of me!

I turn back around and cross my arms over my chest in a huff, I won't tell them anything. I don't even care if I'm reverting back to bratty 5-year-old Sakura.

"Come on, Billboard brow, just tell us," Ino reasons with me when she sees me enter my rebellious silence. My eyebrow twitches at the name she calls me but I don't take the bait.

"Now, this is really stupid. Tell us, Sakura," He stands next to Ino and even with his nonchalant tone, I realize, this is pretty much pleading for him.

"We _care_," Ino adds.

They look like they already know the answer and they're just waiting for me to say it. Do they know? How would they know? Did the principal talk to them? Panic runs through me and suddenly the worst wave of dizziness and nausea today comes over me. I feel acidic tasting bile creep rapidly up my throat.

I bolt for the trash can near the teachers desk and I make it just in time, puking clear liquid into the bin. I notice it's colorless and clear because I haven't had anything to eat in long.

Sasuke and Ino gasp behind me, Ino rushes to my side and pulls my hair out of my face and strokes my back. I'm so thankful for her and disgusted with myself for puking in front of them I actually start to cry.

"We were right. Oh, no…" Ino says and I hug the trashcan to me bleakly.

"You're pregnant," Sasuke states in surprise and I feel my head jerk up. _They think I'm pregnant._

Like the insane, chemo filled teenage girl I am I start to laugh. I laugh and laugh until I break down into tears again. It's just so funny to me because I almost wish they were right.

"What?" Ino asks me, gently pries the trashcan from my arms, and wipes my mouth with a tissue, "You're not?"

I shake my head and I automatically feel guilty for having her take care of me. I also feel guilty for enjoying it. I can't help but think that it's something my mom hasn't been able to do.

"Then what's wrong?" Sasuke squats in front of me, onyx eyes searching my emerald ones. It's weird, I've never seen him so concerned before. It just makes me cry more and I shake my head.

"Well, if you're not pregnant… We have no idea," Ino states and continues to rub her hand in circles on my back, "Tell us."

"_Please, _Sakura." Sasuke says in an uncharacteristically gruff voice and I feel another wave of shock pass over me. My two "least caring" friends are pleading for me to tell them what's wrong. I have to tell them, a patient silence stretches out and I prepare myself.

"I have cancer," I drop the bomb. Ino's hand stops on my back and Sasuke just stares at me, eyes wide.

The classroom is so silent I can hear my own heart beating loudly in my chest.

"Holy shit," Sasuke breaths.

"Oh my god," Ino says in a wobbly voice, I can tell that this isn't what they had expected at all.

They're silent, unable to do anything but gape at me.

"Please don't!" I shout suddenly, emotion cracking my voice, "Please don't look at me like that!"

Ino looks confused and hurt, "Like what?"

"Like I'm going to die. Even if I am please don't look at me like that," I beg, scrambling up and standing on shaky legs.

Ino stares at me from the floor, tears filling her eyes. "Even if you are? What do you mean?"

I look out the window and decide not to answer her, arms hanging limply at my sides.

"We're not looking at you like you're going to die, we're just shocked," Sasuke says reasonably, struggling to compose himself.

I don't look at either of them but instead I gaze out the window at the green leaves of an oak tree dancing in the wind. I suddenly wish I could be one of those leaves, unknowing and uncaring. I would grow, dance in the blowing wind with my brothers and sisters for a few months, turn a lovely red and then break off of my home and flutter to the ground and then wait to break down into soil so other life could grow. There would be no high school, no cancer, no catatonic mother, and no chemotherapy. Life would be simple, happy, and short.

Silence follows but I feel someone touch my arm, it's Ino.

"Sakura?" She asks, tears flowing down her cheeks. I look at her in surprise, when did she get over here so quickly?

"Answer Sasuke," She says and I look at her confusion, he asked something?

"What?"

"I asked what kind of cancer it was," He says and looks at me with eyebrows furrowed. When did he ask me that?

"Oh, Acute leukemia," I say numbly, still shocked that I hadn't heard him. I think that's a side effect of the chemotherapy, but I can't be sure.

"How bad is it?" Ino asks, taking my hand in her own. She squeezes, I don't squeeze back.

"Bad," I swallow, I don't want to tell her there's a one in two chance that I could die in two years.

"How?" She croaks, more tears flowing. I've never seen her cry so much, and for me, too! Today is just _full _of surprises.

"There's a 50 percent chance that I could die," I say, trying to keep myself composed for their sake.

"_Fuck._" Sasuke swears and suddenly leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. I cringe at the sound and stare at the door.

"Oh, god. Forehead," Ino says and pulls me into a hug with shaking hands, "Why didn't you tell us? Tell _me_?"

My composure crumples and I answer her with tears in my eyes, "I was afraid of how you would react."

She pulls me even closer and I bring my arms up and finally hug her back.

"I'm going to lose my hair," I say randomly and suddenly begin sobbing, this is the first person I've been able to voice my worries and frustrations since my mom left me.

"Hey, hey… It's okay," She soothes me but I don't believe her. It's been my pride and joy for years…

"I can't deal with losing it," I say, imagining waking up one morning with a shiny, clear head.

She pulls away from me and glares, suddenly changing moods. "What the hell are you going on about! You have a deadly cancer. You could _die_, Sakura! And you're worried about losing your hair?" She shouts and I wince. I hadn't really thought about it that way.

"But-"

"Don't 'but' me. You'll get through this, hair or no hair. You'll always be beautiful, even without it." She says and I feel my lip tremble as I realize she's being honest.

And, even for just a moment, I feel a sliver of hope. Maybe she's right.

Maybe I can get through this.

. . .

Unknowing to the two girls inside the classroom, a certain red haired girl has her ear pressed against the door after seeing her beloved Sasuke storm out. She was torn between listening in and chasing after him, but she sensed some juicy gossip emerging.

She's more surprised than Ino at the news and jumps away from the door like it burned her. She quickly starts to walk down the hall, feeling repulsive and nosy. She shouldn't have heard that. When she heard that it was Sakura talking she was expecting her to be, she doesn't know, _pregnant_ or something.

With her usual bravado gone, Karin scurries to her car. She's not so sure how she feels about having this new knowledge.

* * *

_Schools almost out for me! Ah, this is crazy! I'll have all of the time in the world. I'll be free. I'll be scotch… Tape._

_**So free**__. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter._

_Review? It would mean at least like 10 to me. _


	6. Chapter 6

My situation feels a lot more… light now that Ino knows. For some reason I was expecting her to flip out and not want to be my friend anymore. I should really learn that everything I expect to happen tends to not happen. And although I feel like I have some weight lifted off my shoulders I still feel like shit. I also pee red. _No one _told me I would pee red. I pretty much had a panic attack and called Dr. Tsunade in a frenzy. She said it's from the Andreomyacin, which is a red chemical, and the first drug in the chemo.

She also said I won't feel better for a while; I'm just going to feel worse. Several days have passed since Ino and Sasuke found out, and they promised to not say anything, thankfully. Ino tries to act as normal as possible, she talks all the time about any little thing, I guess she just wants to keep my mind occupied. But Sasuke… He _did_ promise to not tell anyone but he avoids me even more now, he goes to great lengths to not look at me or talk to me. I know I have cancer but it's not contagious or anything! Although my situation is okay at school, my situation at home is at an all time low.

My mom hasn't woken up, it's almost been a week since she checked out. Everything is silent when I get home from school now; there's no dinner cooking, no music playing while she cleans, no shower running with steam twirling out of the open window. My mom never showers with the window closed, she feels too suffocated in all of that steam. I make sure to keep it open the mornings I bathe her.

And to make matters worse when I wake up I find several long pink strands of hair shining against my pillow.

"Oh no."

My hand flies to my mouth and my eyes shut, shaking all over. I didn't think I would really lose my hair. I mean, I was worried but I didn't _actually believe_ it. But the proof is right there, lying against my pillow. It's like they're mocking me. I pick one up with a trembling hand and study it. _It's just hair, _I tell myself, trying to calm down. _It's not mocking you. Your life isn't over._

There's no way I can go to school today. I can only imagine jogging in PE and having a gust of wind blow my hair clean off my head. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating but I'd rather spend all day stewing in toxins and losing my hair tucked into my bed than at school.

I drift back to sleep, nightmares plaguing me.

. . .

I'm woken up to a blaring noise coming from my nightstand. Confused and half asleep, I fumble for the source. It's my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I ask groggily, the last bits of my nightmare fading from my memory.

"Saaaaaakura-chan!" I hear and I have to hold my phone out, Naruto's voice comes through way too loud.

Wait, Naruto's voice?

"Naruto!" I exclaim, sitting up quickly and having to lay back down as my vision erupts in stars. I'm just so happy to hear from him I don't even care if he woke me up.

"Hey, Pinky! I got a phone!" He says in a cheerful voice and I can just see his cheeky grin, I gasp in surprise when my mind registers the news.

"That's really cool, what kind is it?"

"Uh…" He pulls the phone away from his mouth and his voice fades out momentarily, "I have no idea!" He tells me and I find myself laughing. I haven't laughed in a long time, it seems like.

"Anyway, why'd you call?" I ask, looking at the clock resting on my night stand. "You do realize I'd be in Chemistry right now if I went to school today?"

"Oh. Oops. Anyway, how's the chemo?" He asks and I don't know how to answer him. When I try to open my mouth nothing comes out. How the hell do I tell him that I pee red, I cry myself to sleep, I'm ravenous but I can't eat anything and sometimes I forget where I am, where I'm going or who I'm with?

After I don't reply he comes back, "That terrible, huh?"

"Yeah," I say, swallowing. "I've started losing my hair this morning," I'm not sure why I tell him this. Maybe I just want, no _need_, to tell someone.

"Well, that happens to the best of us," Naruto says and I feel guilty; I'm not the only girl with leukemia, although it may feel like it.

"Has it happened to you?" I blurt out, swinging my feet off of my bed and into the bunny slippers I keep on the floor.

"Well, I haven't exactly had my hair fall out… But I _have _had to lose it before," He says thoughtfully and I wonder why he had to lose his hair. Maybe he was on the swim team or something.

"Do you want to hang out today?" I ask, suddenly wanting to get out of my house. It's way too gloomy after hearing his voice.

"I'd love too!" He all but shouts and I smile. He suddenly gets quiet, "But I don't have a car.."

"Don't worry, I have one." I say, throwing on some jeans and a hoody.

"I'll pick you up from the hospital in 20?"

"What? I mean, y-yeah!" He stumbles as I grab my keys which I thankfully don't have to dig for.

"See you," I say.

"Bye!" He says and I hear him grumble something along the lines of, "Now how the hell do I hang this thing up?" before I end the call myself.

Somehow even with all of the crap happening to me, I feel better. I've only known the kid for a week and he already does a better job of cheering me up than my best friend.

I take care of my mother, making sure she's fed and warm in bed before I go. I kiss her on the head and send a silent prayer to whoever might be listening that she'll wake up soon.

I'm about out the door when I remember my hair, _I can't have it falling out all over the place_. I open the closet and find my tea green floppy beanie, it's tight enough to stay on my head and it doesn't press against my skin.

I take a deep breath, pull open the door, and I leave my comfort zone.

. . .

Even though I'm not here for treatment or an appointment dread still fills my stomach as I pull into the Konoha Medical Center parking lot. The modern, jutting building looms over me as I pull in and park. I dial Naruto's number. The gloomy, overcast clouds don't help my mood at all, I almost expect some lightning to shoot across the sky and some scary music to play.

I kill my engine and wait as the phone rings, light sprinkling rain begins to patter against my windshield. The call almost goes to voicemail but he finally picks up.

"Hello?" Naruto's voice comes through quietly, I can't tell if he's whispering or if we have a bad connection.

"Naruto?" I ask loudly, just in case it's the latter.

"_Shhhh_," He hisses and my eyebrows raise as I look toward the sliding glass doors that open into the main lobby. I wonder what's going on.

"_Sorry_, I'm here in the parking lot," I whisper back, playing along.

"Can you get closer to the door? Also, be sneaky and inconspicuous," He requests and I swallow a nervous lump away at the idea of having to be so close to the dreaded place.

"Uh, sure," I say, trying not to sound afraid.

"Thanks pink. This is yellow, signing out," He says in a weird accent and makes a clicking noise. A laugh escapes me as he starts humming the 007 theme song, still on the phone with me.

Feeling positively silly I pull up and make sure I pull my hood over my head and I sink my seat lower to the floor. I glare at the entrance and whisper into my phone.

"Pink is in the nest, I repeat pink is in the nest."

"Incoming," He says in a suave voice and a hysterical laugh escapes me as I catch sight of him army crawling in front of the secretary desk. The two women are oblivious as he slithers right under their noses. The double doors slide open for him and one of the women looks up in confusion at the door but quickly dismisses it and goes back to her computer. He's outside now and the rain is really coming down.

He actually did it! A gleeful smile takes over my face as he scrambles up and starts running toward the car, phone still pressed to his ear. He splashes through a puddle and sends water flying.

"Get ready!" He calls and I put my car in gear, ready for a whirling blur of blonde to enter. He slides in and slams the door, "Drive, drive, _drive_!" He shouts into the phone and I floor it, zooming out of the roundabout and onto the street. He looks at me and I look at him, both of us breathing heavily and laughing.

We have both of our phones pressed to our ears still. Naruto seems to notice this and he looks at me apologetically.

"Hey, look I'm on the phone with someone. can I have a minute?" He holds the phone away from him and presses it to his chest.

"Of course," I say, trying to focus on the road and him at the same time.

"So, I'll call you back. I'm in a car with a really cute girl," He whispers in his cheesy 007 voice and I feel my face grow warm.

"Ah, I see. It was an honor working with you, agent yellow," I say in the same mock accent as we stop at a red light.

"Excellent work."

"Thank you."

"Goodbye."

"So long."

We both hang up and a fake awkward silence fills the cabin of my car. He coughs obnoxiously and I clear my throat.

"So, lovely weather," He says, scratching his chin.

"It's raining," I say in a monotone voice, fighting a grin.

"... Ah, so it is," He says and we both burst out laughing.

"What was that back there?" I have to ask, it was unlike anything I've ever seen.

"Oh," He looks like he just ate something sour. "I'm kind of not allowed to leave..."

"What?" I shout, almost slamming on my breaks. But considering we're in the middle of a slick busy intersection it really isn't a good idea to stop abruptly. I didn't think he was actually being serious when he said to be inconspicuous, I thought it was just some sort of game!

"I'm sorry, but they would never let me leave without some orderly following me around!" Naruto pleads, clapping his hands together and bowing his head. "Don't take me back there."

My grip on the steering wheel tightens and loosens as I consider my options: 1) Turn around an march his ass back into that hospital, 2) Turn a blind eye and let him have his fun, or 3) Finally try to find out his condition from him.

"Okay, okay... I won't take you back," I say and I see his face melt in relief in the corner of my eye. _"If," _I continue and he flinches, "You tell me why you'd need a nurse following you around."

"Actually I think you can just pull over. Or I can just tuck and roll into traffic," He says, I gasp in offense and I turn to look at him. When I see the look on his Face I know he's joking.

"I'm just kidding!" He says but not before I punch him in the arm, hard.

"Shut up. Don't joke about those things," I grumble and flick my blinker on as I look over my shoulder.

He winces and rubs his shoulder. "Quite a punch you've got there."

. . .

We've finally reached the mall and I park up front since it's a school day and the whole parking lot is like a ghost town.

"Ready?" I ask as I grab my purse and unbuckle.

"Is this the mall?" He asks me and looks up through his window at the large clusters of glamorous looking buildings.

"Yeah," I say, a tone of surprise in my voice. Hasn't he ever been here?

"I've never been here."

Oh.

"I think you'll like it," I say with confidence and I open the door and pull myself out of the car and into the rain. I shiver and pull my light jacket tightly around me. Suddenly I feel drained of all of my energy, I've been on a high since I picked him up but I'm slowly crashing. Goddamned chemo.

We start to walk towards the big bricked department building when I feel something warm and soft placed on my shoulders. I look down at it and I see it's Naruto's surprisingly stylish jacket. I look at him with my mouth open slightly and I feel my face heat up again.

"Thanks," I whisper and he just beams back at me. Now without his jacket I can see his black v-neck. _He's a pretty well-dressed guy, _I notice as I see his dark, well fitting jeans and red high top converse.

If only half of the guys in my school dressed like this, there would be a lot less single girls at KHS.

Once we're inside the store I try to give his jacket back but he just shakes his head and tells me to keep it, for now.

The first thing we do is find a bench to sit down on. I've become overwhelmingly tired. Naruto doesn't complain and patiently sits back as I try to catch my breath.

I could probably fall asleep here and that alarms me; I love malls and I adore shopping. Normally I'm always too excited to even sit down.

After a bit I stand up and Naruto steadies me. I feel really grateful for him as we walk down the long, wide hall of Stores, shops and stalls. It's pretty much empty save for the odd adult. I lean over and breathe in the scent of his jacket as he's cooing over some sleeping puppies at the pet shop. It smells like cinnamon and soap, a weird but good mix. It works for him.

"Let's get some caffeine," I sigh the second time I have to sit down, this lack of energy simply will not do. I apologize to Naruto but he won't hear it.

"Just take all of the time you need," He says as I look at him leaning against a towering palm tree. The way he watches me unnerves me; it's like he knows what I'm going through. Does he? I forgot to ask him about his condition!

"Caffeine. Now," I demand and I pull him towards the foot court, already forming a plan in my head. Our hands stay locked and I can see his face blush from the corner of my eye. I smile and I keep my hand in his as we walk side by side.

. . .

"Woah..." He breathes, starry-eyed as he takes in all of the sights and smells of the enormous food court filled with dozens of different fast-food, ramen, dessert shops.

As if on cue Naruto's stomach growls loudly, he pats his belly and tells it shush.

"Well, we _can _eat," I suggest and he shuffles his feet, looking guilty.

"I don't exactly have money," He says pulling his pockets inside out, they hang out like dogs ears. I laugh and he gives me a grumpy look.

"No, I'm not making fun of you, I just laughed because I intend to pay."

His face lights up like a firework and the next thing I know I'm in the air, his arms wrapped around my middle.

"You're the best Sakura-chan!" He cries and I feel slightly woozy but I'm laughing nonetheless. I love how happy he can get, I wish I could be this carefree. I start feeling a little crushed and I tap his back, getting his attention.

"Naruto," I choke out. "Air."

"Oh!" He exclaims, setting me down again. I balance myself and look up, he's grinning down at me. I smile back.

"So, what are you tasting?"

. . .

I didn't know someone could eat four bowls of ramen in ten minutes flat until now. I wince as I imagine the bill but I don't have the heart to tell him to stop eating. Bowls pile up and threaten to tip over and the poor elderly cook is working as fast as he can.

I don't eat anything, just the smell of food makes me queasy. And even though my nausea has decreased since Tuesday I doubt I can stomach something like ramen. I do, though, drink a soda. I need the energy with this kid.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" He asks me for the thousandth time.

"I'm not hungry," I'm starving, I just don't want to puke all over you.

"Oh-_kay_," He replies in a tone that reminds me of Ino.

"So you never told me why you'd need an orderly around," I say propping my head on my hand with my elbow pressed to the counter. Naruto grins sheepishly and rubs his neck.

"I was hoping you'd have forgotten," He admits.

"I never forget."

"Right, well. I sort of have this condition, it's sporadic and unpredictable. That's why I'd need an orderly, just in case I get a reaction," Naruto says slowly, as if choosing his words carefully.

"So, are you sure it's safe to be here?" I ask, eyeballing him as he pushes his noodles around his bowl. He seems to suddenly have lost his appetite, the cook notices this too and looks relieved.

"Yeah, remember me telling you about my uncle Jiraya?" He asks me and I nod my head, remembering the conversation about his traveling guardian. "He has a lot of money."

"A lot? What does he do?" I ask.

"He's an author," Naruto says like he doesn't want to tell me.

"Oh! What has he written?" I suddenly feel excited, who would have thought?

"Some novels here, a biography there. You know… The Make-out paradise series..." He says and his face turns red, I scrunch my nose up in displeasure as I remember the raunchy novels on my mother's bookshelf.

"Nice," I say and laugh, maybe that explains his extensive stay at the hospital, along with the designer clothes and the new state-of-the-art phone. Those books are world-wide best sellers, I have no idea why though. I opened one once, read the first three lines and quickly snapped it shut and through it across the room, my face burning. Now that I think about it I think I've seen Mr. Hatake, our Vice Principal, reading them. That pervert.

"He also has a lot of influence and he worries a lot about me," He explains, "So he makes sure I'm always monitored and always safe. I understand why he does it, and I am thankful for it… But sometimes it just gets too much! I want to be able to leave when I want," He says, suddenly heated. He looks at something a million miles away, waving his hands in the air animatedly as he talks, "I want to go to school! I want to go to the movies, to an amusement park and throw up on a roller coaster! Or if it were just something as simple as going to the park for a half an hour; I don't care, I just want to have _some _freedom."

I suddenly feel bad for Naruto; He's lived, I assume, his whole life under a watchful eye, never escaping or living. I know my mom may have dampened my childhood with her dependency, but I can't imagine having to stay in a hospital, constantly monitored. No wonder he acts out and causes trouble, I would too if I was put in the same situation.

There's so much more to this boy than most would never even imagine just by looking at him. He's fiddling with his hands, ramen pushed away from him when I reach over and drape my hand over his balled up fists. He tenses and looks up at me.

"It's okay, I won't tell anyone. I won't make you go back," I say quietly and his bright blue eyes light up and he opens up one of his hands and our fingers link. It's a comfortable and familiar feeling, although we've only sort of held hands once.

"Thank you," He replies and I just nod in response.

I pay and we begin to wander around the mall again, students and teenagers slowly trickling in. I'm a little worried of being recognized, but I try not to panic.

My plan to not panic fails when I pretty much lose my shit when I see Karin and her gang deliberating on whether or not they want to go into a dress shop not ten feet from us. I practically drag Naruto into a dimly lit, loud tattoo place. None of the people from my school would be caught dead in a place like this… Well, no one from my circle of friends.

"Can I help you?" A girl with purple hair and countless piercings greets in an incredibly monotone voice.

"Uh, yeah. He'd like a tattoo," I say to her, motioning at Naruto. He gapes at me and starts to protest but my hand closes on his mouth, other hand wrapping around his arm. He struggles and I elbow him sharply in the ribs.

"He's just nervous," I say dismissively and she just raises a sharply plucked eyebrow in response. "Do you have any design booklets or anything we can look at?" I ask and she wordlessly digs around a drawer and pulls a glossy, hardback book. She just grunts when I thank her; how can someone so exciting looking be so boring?

With a big book full of designs we sit down in two chairs facing the desk.

"Are you insane?" Naruto hisses over the death metal blaring from the speakers. "I don't want a tattoo!"

"I know! I just need to hide away for a while, I saw someone I knew in the store across from us."

"So you're hiding? Why?" Naruto asks, completely disregarding the tattoo book on the table next to him.

"Because I didn't go to school today, I don't want them to think I was just ditching for the hell of it," I reply, willing him to understand.

He seems to accept that and I pull the tattoo book towards me and I flip it open, just because of the lack of something to do. I want to make sure they've made their mind to go in before we leave.

"I don't think you should worry about what people think of you," Naruto comments quietly next to me, I purse my lips in irritation.

"It's easier said than done," I say, surprised at the bitterness that leaks into my tone. "I have a lot to prove."

"To who?"

"My mother, my teachers, my friends," I mumble, thinking of that era without real purpose or drive besides a stupid fat-headed Sasuke. I shudder as I remember those dark years.

"You think you taking a break from school because you have leukemia will ruin their opinion of you?" Naruto asks, looking at me like I'm a crazy person.

"Shut up," I snap when I have nothing to reply with. He sighs, resigned, and I look back down and the book. It's littered with thin, pink hairs. They must have fallen out when I was arguing with him, falling out from the stress of the situation. Reality once again hits me in the stomach as I pick one up and throw it away from me. It floats harmlessly to the ground and I'm reminded that I'll be bald within a month. Angry tears fill my eyes, this is so unfair. I can just imagine how everyone'll react when I go to school with a shiny, clear head.

"Hey, you okay?" Naruto asks when he notices my tears.

"No," I say honestly and I start to weep quietly.

"Woah! Wait, what's wrong?" He asks, startled. He wraps his arm around me, I rest my head on his shoulder and cry into his shirt.

He must see my hair lying against the page of designs because he makes a noise of recognition. I cry harder.

"Is this about your hair?" He asks and I nod. He suddenly stands up and pulls me up also, letting the book slide off my lap and flop to the ground.

"Hey!" The girl at the counter snaps and we both just ignore her. I dry my eyes with the back of my hand, not breaking eye contact with Naruto.

"Follow me," He says and leads me out of the tattoo shop and into the now-bustling mall. I recognize several faces and I pray they don't do the same for my face. We slip through the crowd and he ignores my confused protests and questions.

We stop in front of a salon and he points inside of it, my eyes widen when I realize what he's telling me to do:

He's telling me to let go of my hair.

* * *

_Oh my gosh I am __**so**__ sorry for the long wait. Everything is crazy with finals and I actually messaged some of you about it._

_You're lucky I care about you all so much. Haha._

_Anyway I hope you liked it. Please review._

_**PLEEEEEEEEAAAAASE.** Sorry, was that begging?_

_I don't care. Review, y'all._


	7. Chapter 7

Snip. Snip. Snip. The man works in a steady rhythm, careful not to pull or tug on my head too hard; Naruto warned him about the chemotherapy thing. I'm thankful because honestly my skin is starting to feel weird. It's starting to feel, I don't know... Softer and more warm than usual. Not to mention I feel tired. Not just tired, but exhausted; the kind of exhaustion that makes your bones ache and your eyelids droop. The effects of the caffeine I had at the cafeteria have disappeared.

It's amazing I'm still awake, but considering years and years of patience and care are being chopped off and discarded carelessly on the floor it's a little hard to fall asleep. A bitter, cold wind blows through my chest as I catch sight of my pink hair littering the floor around me. I had settled on ten inches of hair, my new hair length will be just below my chin. I haven't had my hair this short since I was seven.

Naruto is in the chair next to me, twirling around and around in a bored-like fashion.

"Leukemia, huh?" My stylist asks and I nod. He shakes his head and sighs sadly. "You're so young," He comments and I say nothing in response. _Thank you Captain Obvious. _

It strikes me as odd that age matters- I doubt that someone who's 40 would be any less devastated than I am at 17. Illness is illness, and death is death. These things really don't wait for anyone, and I'm no exception.

I take in my stylist's appearance as subtly as I can: he has dark skin, stylish spiky white hair and sharp eyes. He speaks quietly but strongly, sure of himself but not loud like the stylist cutting the woman's hair next to us. She cuts and brushes away, snapping her gum and talking non-stop. She also has hip-hop blasting on a small iPod dock.

"Karui, could you turn down that music?" He asks her, the red-headed girl (who reminds me a lot of Karin) sighs exaggeratedly and turns the music down. She grumbles something about her showing him what he can turn down.

"Anyway, how do you feel?" He presses, obviously not accepting the silent treatment that I've been giving him.

"Frankly? Like shit," I say in a clipped voice. He chuckles, unperturbed by my cold attitude.

"You're strong though. I can tell because it took all of that boy's will power," He motions to Naruto with his scissors, who's picking his nose distractedly, "To just get you in here. You're a stubborn one." My face heats up as I realize he saw my fit when Naruto was trying to get me in here.

"And I doubt this cancer can get the best of you," He finishes. My eyes momentarily fill with tears at his unexpectedly kind words, and just like that, my opinion of this man changes from thinking he's some monster taking my hair to someone I... like.

He leans down to whisper in my ear, making eye contact with me in the mirror, "And keep this boy around. He cares about you, I can tell."

I look over at Naruto just as he's wiping something suspicious off on his pant leg. I don't try to hide my smirk.

"Yeah, he's great."

"What's your name, by the way?" He asks me, snipping away again. I wince when I realize how light my head feels already.

"Sakura Haruno."

"Pretty name. I'm Omoi," He tells me and I smile, he makes six people to know about my cancer. I don't mind though, he seems like a cool guy.

"Nice to meet you," I chirp.

"Nice to meet you, too, Haruno-san." Omoi brushes my bangs in front of my eyes to give them a trim. It tickles my nose and I hold back a sneeze.

Soon, he's done. But he's turned me away from the mirror, so when I can see the final product I'll be "surprised." _More like horrified_, I think. I shut my eyes and when he spins me around I brace myself for the worst. But when I squint open an eye, I'm shocked. I don't look hideous at all!

In fact, I look kind of good. My bubble gum hair feathers down to my chin, framing my face, making it appear more delicate than normal. I turn my head side to side and it feels nice to not be whipped in the face by my normally long hair. He's also layered it so it won't be as obvious when it starts thinning.

"What do you think?" Omoi asks, smiling gently. I adjust my bangs and smile back but I can't look away from my reflection; I'm too engrossed in my complete transformation.

"It's amazing, thank you," I choke out, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.

When I'm up at the front desk I realize something that Ino has been trying to pound into my brain for days: that those clumps of hair surrounding the chair where I was sitting, they don't define me. I am who I am because of the things I say and do, the things I think and feel… Not because of the length or luster of my hair.

"Sakura-chan, you look so pretty!" Naruto exclaims and scratches his cheek, bringing me into the present. I smile at him and reach for the wallet in my purse but Omoi waves it down.

"You don't have to pay," He says dismissively, unwrapping a sucker and sticking it in his mouth. I start to protest but he holds up his hand, "Consider it a get well gift."

"Thank you," I say after a bit of thought; I don't want people to pity me and give me free things just because of my cancer, but I don't think that's what he meant by it. When I tell him thank you I really mean it. Omoi took what I thought would be a dreadful experience and helped me make it okay… It was pleasant, even.

"You just make sure you come back, okay?" He asks and squeezes my shoulder. I tell him I will.

With Naruto on my side, a new haircut, and a new outlook on my situation, we exit the salon.

I'm thankful to be getting home, I can feel sleep sneaking up on me. And I definitely wouldn't want to fall asleep driving Naruto home.

. . .

Sasuke Uchiha sits at the end of the bench, eyes closed and arms folded. He can't believe the nerve of Ino, dragging him to a dress shop.

"How about this one?" Ino asks for about the twelfth time.

Sasuke answers without opening his eyes, "It looks good, can we go?" As he rubs the bridge of his nose like he has a headache, he senses a shoe coming his way. He snaps open his eyes and ducks. It slaps the wall behind him. Ino glares at him, one foot bare.

"Would you stop that?" Ino fumes, the periwinkle dress falling just below her knees, "This is for Sakura. We both know she's not going to buy a dress herself. And since we're the same size, this is the only way we'll be able to get her one." She turns to her reflection, studying the dress and the way it moves when she swishes it back and forth. Sakura would like this, right?

"Maybe she doesn't want to go," Sasuke says, standing up and putting his hands in his pockets, "You ever think of that?"

"This is Sakura we're talking about, Sasuke," Ino rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

"Yeah, but she's changed since she's been diagnosed," Sasuke argues. Ino rolls her eyes.

"Of course she's changed! She has Leukemia," She almost shouts, several heads turn their way.

"Would you keep your voice down?" Sasuke hisses, looking around the dress shop with narrowed eyes for someone they might know. He may not be talking to Sakura but he definitely doesn't want her secret to be revealed.

"I'm just saying that she may be changing, but I know she'll regret not going; she's wanted this since we were in grade school," Ino informs him and inspects the dress more closely in the mirror, deciding on whether or not it would compliment Sakura's hair.

Oh, wait.

A feeling of guilt grows in her stomach, maybe Sasuke's right? What if she doesn't want to go? If Ino had to go to prom bald, she really doesn't think she would be able to, especially since her hair means as much to her as Sakura's hair means to Sakura.

Sasuke sighs and tilts his head to the side in annoyance, glaring out of the shop window and out into the busy mall. His black eyebrows furrow when he sees a flash of pink moving through the crowd. _It couldn't be._

He gets closer to the window to get a better view and sure enough it's Sakura. But why the hell is she here? Shouldn't she be home?

"Ino, look," Sasuke calls and Ino comes up from behind him, curious as to what he's seeing. She gasps when she sees Sakura strolling hand in hand with a boy.

"Sakura?" She gasps, "What is she doing here? Why the hell is her hair so short? Who's that boy she's with?" Ino fumes, her blonde hair falling out of its ponytail in disarray. Sasuke jerks back in surprise, she's with someone?

"What? Who?" He asks, turning back to window. Anger leaks into his voice, he can't explain why the idea of her being with another boy infuriates him… It just does. He only catches a glimpse of the back of the boy's head before they're swallowed by the crowd.

He turns back to Ino, knuckles white. He expects her to be angry but she just looks lost and sad, blue eyes gazing blankly at the ground.

"Why didn't she tell me she was cutting her hair?" She asks, wrapping her arms around herself. She and Sakura have told each other everything since they both got over Sasuke and became best friends again. The idea of Sakura having some boy and some part of her life kept a secret from her hurt Ino.

Sasuke hadn't even realized that she'd cut her hair until Ino mentioned it, but now he felt another hot whip of panic. Sakura had grown her hair out for him when they were younger, believing he liked long hair. (Which was a rumor because he really hadn't thought about girls much when he was younger.)

When he was younger he thought of her as just another annoying, scheming fangirl who would drool over him any time he left the sanctuary of his house. They were put together as partners in middle school on several occasions (much to Sasuke's chagrin and Sakura's excitement) and they ended up getting to know each other. When he got older he found it useful to have a girlfriend, and she was his first choice. Although she was annoying, she was the least annoying of all the girls who pined after him.

And now Sakura, his ex-girlfriend and the girl who he thought would always be his to take whenever he pleased, was getting over him. When he had learned of her cancer he had felt foolish and angry; he had believed he had all of the time in the world to let her squirm without him. He hadn't taken a life shattering event into account.

Now she's cut her hair! The idea is... baffling to him. Of course he knew that she would lose it eventually, but he didn't expect her to let it go so abruptly. Without a second thought.

...She really has changed since they broke up.

Also who the hell was that boy with the blonde hair? He looked about as tall as Sasuke, and she seemed perfectly at ease with the guy.

"Put that back. We need to do something," Sasuke orders Ino, who nods and is about to enter the changing room when a couple of voices enter the store and she freezes, recognizing them.

"I don't know," A girl squeaks, "I think I want something more modern."

"No way, you need something longer and more traditional," Another, more nasally voice pipes up. "What do you think, Karin?"

Karin! Ino glares daggers at the group and snorts when she watches Sasuke pull his hood over his head and sneak around the group and out the door, for it would mean certain doom if he was seen by fangirls like them in a dress store. She pulls the dressing room curtain back, entering the room. She'll deal with them later.

"Anything will look fine," Karin sighs, not wanting to argue. Honestly, she just wants to get a dress and get out. This attitude doesn't go unnoticed by her friends.

"What is with you lately?" Her friend Yokoi snaps, "You don't want to hang out, and you don't even care about prom dresses?" She shakes her head and the other two groupies gasp and look between her and Karin, shocked. None of them have ever spoken to Karin like that.

"I do care about prom dresses! When did I ever say I didn't?" Karin cries, face turning red.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe when you rescheduled our shopping trip 4 times in the past week?" Yokoi doesn't back down at Karin's death glare, in fact she even seems to grow more confident.

"I've been busy!"

"Yeah, right! Doing what? Moping around?" The girl says, her sharp grey eyes narrowing. "What happened to you that made you like this?"

Karin stumbles, she can't just say that she found out some disturbing news that unhinged her mental and social health. Sakura has cancer and she's shopping for dresses, knowing that she has the whole election in the bag? What fun is that? It's not fun at all, in fact it's the opposite. She's considered dropping out of the race several times.

But what does she say to these three girls? These "friends" of hers?

"It's none of your business, and how _dare_ you talk to me like this!" Karin pulls herself up until she's taller than Yokoi and jabs a finger out toward her. Yokoi flinches.

"I-I'm sorry," She says, backing down. Karin allows herself to relax a little, knowing that her friends aren't the kind to push her.

"Good. Now, Harumi you should go for a more modern dress. It'll match your new shoes," Karin comments and her friends sigh in relief, glad their friend is back.

Karin is fine for now, she just needs to keep this up until she figures out something to do.

. . .

It's almost dark when I pull into the hospital parking lot, the sun sinking beneath the horizon. I park and turn my car off, struggling to stay awake. _At least it's stopped raining, _I notice.

"Thank you for today, Sakura-chan," Naruto speaks up, watching me from his side of the car.

"No problem." I rub my eyes and nod.

"Are you sure you're okay to drive home like this?" He asks, concerned.

"I'm perfectly okay... I'll stop and get a coffee on the way," I assure him, he worries too much.

"We should do this again," He suddenly becomes nervous, "Because I had a really good time, and your hair looks beautiful. Well your hair looked beautiful before, you always look beautiful." He's babbling now and judging by the look on his face, he knows it. A giggle escapes me and he snaps his mouth shut in embarrassment.

"Thank you, Naruto. I had a good time, too... And thank you for helping me out with my hair," I add as an afterthought, remembering how supportive he was. I doubt I could have actually gone through with cutting it without for him. In fact, I don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for him. He's helped me through a huge stage in chemotherapy.

"You're welcome. I'll see you later?" He asks, eyes shining. I smile back, looking out at the hospital. I feel sorry for him and I wish he could just come home with me... But not in that way! I just wish he had a place to stay that wasn't full of nurses and sick people. Wait... My house is full of sick people too. Oops. Well, he'll be fine until I can rescue him again, and tomorrow is Saturday and I think I might just invite him over.

"Yes, you definitely will," I say and nod my head, he smiles and slides out of the car. He waves at me until I turn the bend and make my way home.

I arrive at home and still have a smile on my face when I reach my front door. As I open it I notice someone sitting on my couch. I have to catch myself on the door so I don't fall over in shock.

"Mom?"

* * *

_Ohhhhh snap. Is this my 7__th__ chapter? Ahhhh I don't even know… I'm a failure of an author._

_Thank you to all who have reviewed. I'm going to try and start replying to reviews, because it just makes me so happy that you guys take the time to review._

_I might even answer some questions ;D_


	8. Chapter 8

"Mom?" I gasp. My keys drop to the floor and the next thing I know I'm kneeling in front of her. She's sitting up on the couch, hair ruffled and a blanket wrapped around her. She looks up at me.

"Mom!" I cry and pull her into my arms. She's awake! I hold her out at arms length and confirm this. Granted she looks a little confused but there's light and awareness back in those emerald eyes. The eyes that are so much like mine.

"Mom, it's me, Sakura." I brush some hair out of her eyes.

She reaches out to touch me, as if I'm a mirage. Her hand settles on the side of my face and her eyes flutter as she tries to recognize me. My heart pounds in my chest in nervousness and excitement, after days and days she's finally awake. I just hope to god she hasn't lost any of her memory or anything. Her mouth opens and four little words are uttered that send me over the edge.

"Your hair looks nice," She croaks and tears flood over and roll down my cheeks.

"Oh, mom. I think so too." I wrap her up in my arms again, all I know is that my mother is back. My mom is here.

...

How much can happen to a person in a span of 24 hours? Because honestly my life has been flipped inside out and then set right again since six this morning. On top of the effects of the chemo, the events of the day beat down in me as I trudge up the stairs after cleaning the kitchen.

I sat my mom down as I made her dinner, I made sure she ate every bite before I led her upstairs. And the whole time I asked her simple questions, trying to get her to talk more.

I flick on my bathroom light and I stumble back when I see my reflection. My hair is so short!

Feeling stupid, I brush my teeth. Of course my hair is short, and soon it will be gone… But at least it looks nice now.

When I practically crawl to my room I don't even bother with pajamas, I just settle on stripping down to my tank top and underwear. I'm out as soon as my head hits the pillow.

. . .

You know that feeling you get when you close your eyes and one second goes by and you're awake again? This is what I experience when my alarm goes off. I hit snooze bitterly and I feel cheated out of sleep. I squint open an eye and I see that it's nine.

It's Saturday so I don't really have much to do; more sleep it is!

When I wake up again it takes me a moment to remember where I am. When I do I don't make an effort to get up; thankfully I no longer feel nauseous, but I'm still tired. What finally pulls me out of bed is the smell of breakfast wafting through the house. The idea of someone cooking breakfast is so absurd to me that I wonder if smelling buttermilk pancakes is a delicious side effect of chemo.

When I enter the kitchen, rubbing my eyes and yawning, I see my mother standing at the stove.

"Good morning, honey," She sings and a wave of emotion sweeps over me. My mom is really back.

I run and throw my arms around her, holding back tears. I almost knock her over and she laughs, surprised. I'm so relieved that she's awake I hold onto her for a full minute.

"Uh, sweetie? The bacon is going to burn if I don't flip it over," she tells me and I finally pull away. I turn and see piles of pancakes, hash browns, and bacon. My stomach growls and I realize that I'm getting my appetite back I'm so relieved I could probably start crying. But as I see the food my mom is preparing I doubt I can eat all of it, even with my hunger finally returning.

"Mom, I know I've lost weight but I doubt I can eat all this," I tell her, pulling up a white paper towel and peeking underneath it. The sight of mountains of hash browns greets me and my mouth waters. Okay, maybe I can eat all of this. I spy a plate full of a bacon and I sneak one.

"Oh, it's not just for you. A couple of your friends called and I invited them over for breakfast."

The piece of bacon on its way to my mouth freezes in midair as my mind screams, what!

"Who?" I ask, trying not to panic. She gives me a strange look and before she can open her mouth to tell me, the doorbell rings.

"Oh, that must be them," She says excitedly and my face goes pale.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I cry and scramble up the stairs before my mom can answer the door. I lock myself in my bathroom, shaking and breathing heavily. I still can't exert too much energy. I rest my head against the door and groan as I hear Ino's cheerful voice downstairs.

"Wow, Ms. H! This smells great," she compliments and a deeper voice agrees and I cringe. Sasuke.

What the hell are they doing here? I'm not fit for guests, even if they are friends. I grumble to myself as I start up the shower. Unlike my mother's bathroom mine doesn't have a window you can fit through, so it looks like there's no escaping this.

"Sakura?" My mom's voice comes from the other side of the door along with several soft knocks.

"Sorry, mom. Just let me shower first!" I call to her.

"Okay... But Sakura are you okay?" She asks, still muffled by the door.

"Yeah, just give me a minute." I tear off my clothes and jump into the cold shower, yelping as my skin comes into contact with the freezing water. I should have waited until it was warm.

I scrub away, cursing the nerve of Sasuke and Ino. I understand they're concerned for me but they don't need to come here to check up on me. A simple call would suffice. Or a get well card. Or a kind thought.

I'm extra careful and gentle when I'm washing my hair, I may be less attached to it (no pun intended) but I still don't want to speed up the process of losing it. When I step out I find myself clutching the towel rack for support while I force myself to take deep breaths I'm suddenly hit with a bout of lightheadedness. I don't want to see anyone right now. I just want to crawl in bed with my mom and watch cheesy romance movies.

I towel myself off and wrap the fuzzy material around me. I look down at the underwear and tank top I went to bed in. I curse when I realize I have to cross the hall to get to my room. _With guests over_.

Gritting my teeth I throw my things in the laundry basket and creak open the door. Tiptoeing out into the hallway, the clatter of plates and laughter travels up the stairs and I sigh in relief.

When I creep into my room and shut the door with a soft click, my back is to my room so he says something before I can see him.

"Haircut?" says a deep voice. I shriek and begin to fall. One hand reaches out to balance myself on my dresser while my other hand holds my towel closed in an iron grip.

"Sasuke!" I hiss and glare at the intruder sitting on my bed nonchalantly toying with my rubix cube. Fury floods through my veins and it takes every ounce of my willpower not to punch this pervert into next week.

"What?"

"Get. Out. Now." I seethe, opening my door and pointing. He just closes his eyes and smirks.

"Now, why would I do that?" He opens his eyes and tilts his head to the side, his onyx eyes sweeping up and down my towel-clad form. Pervert.

"Because I need to get dressed. Get out." He doesn't budge and I begin to feel desperate. I'm glued to my spot, horrified with my indecency. I try to shake myself, I can't be the helpless little girl I was when I was with him; this is probably what he's aiming for, coming in here after I finish showering.

"What is with you, lately?" I spit and he stands up, still turning and twisting the rubix cube.

"What do you mean?" He asks innocently and makes his way over to me.

"What I mean is that for months you pretend I don't exist and now I get cancer what, I suddenly exist again?" I ask and he seems to not hear me. He comes closer and I retreat from his gaze. My back hits my bedroom wall, and my limited confidence disappears. Both of my hands reach up to grip my towel. I've never felt so exposed in my life.

He looms over me and goose bumps erupt all over my body, cold water droplets dripping down onto my shoulders from my still-wet hair. I have to look up to see him and he stares down at me, a strange look in his eye. He looks scared, regretful, angry...and something else I can't place.

Before I can open my mouth to ask what he wants his lips close over mine, his hands clamping down over my arms. For a moment I'm too stunned to move. He's kissing me? It's a desperate kiss, holding more emotion than all of the kisses we've ever shared. Confusion clouds my thoughts but one thing becomes apparent: this is too rough. I shove him away from me.

I breathe heavily, glaring at him. "What the hell, Sasuke?" I gasp, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. This is so out of character for him I can't even manage to throw any insults his way. His shoulders are slumped and his black hair shrouds his eyes from me.

"You're supposed to be with me," He growls and my eyebrows shoot up. Well, this is news to me.

"Then why did you break up with me?" I ask quietly, feeling emotionally exhausted. I don't understand this boy anymore. I _can't_ understand him.

He doesn't answer my question and I back away from my wall and I go back towards the door.

"Please," I plead, "Go."

"Does rejecting me have anything to do with that blonde kid?" He asks, looking at me. He looks mad. Wait- blonde kid? _He can't mean Naruto_. He must see the recognition pass through my features because the corners of his mouth turn up into a smirk.

"It is. I knew it," He stands up straight, "Where'd you ever pick that idiot up?"

My hands ball into fists and I look away. How does he even know about him? Naruto's smiling face flashes through my head. "That _idiot_ was the person that was there for me when no one else was," I say in a steely voice and I look back to him, challenging him with my eyes.

"Only because you didn't let anyone else be there for you!" He shouts, frustrated, hands shooting up in the air. My eyes widen and I recognize that look in his eyes I couldn't before: sadness. Guilt consumes me and I look down at my bare feet and the small puddle of water that has collected. I shiver and realize he's right; I've been a shitty friend. I just didn't want anyone to have to suffer with me. Naruto came to me without me having to ask, so I've never felt guilty about having him around.

"Whatever." He grunts and exits my room, throwing the rubix cube back onto my bed. I'm left standing alone, shivering and wet in my room. What just happened? When I look over to my bed I see the rubix cube is solved.

What a way to start my weekend.

. . .

When I go downstairs, dry and starving, I expect to find Ino and Sasuke gone. Imagine my surprise when I see Ino, Sasuke and _Hinata_. I pause on the stairs and I take in the scene before me: almost empty plates, cups of coffee, polite small talk and an overall light atmosphere.

"Ah, Sakura!" Ino says. Her eyes light up when she sees me, and I smile and wave.

"Hi guys," I breathe and plop down in between my mother and Hinata. I don't look at any of them as I shovel food onto my plate. A strained silence takes over and I look up at the group. "What?"

"Y-your hair!" Hinata squeaks, eyes glued to my head. I reach up and tuck a strand behind my ear, my face warm.

"Yeah..." I laugh, embarrassed. "I just decided that it'd be easier to let it go if you know.. it was shorter." Hinata nods and gives me a sweet smile.

"I like it," she says a little shyly and I smile back at her.

"Thanks for telling us you were getting it cut, forehead," Ino snaps across the table. I turn to her and I see the pain in her eyes. I feel guilty for keeping her in the dark.

"I'm sorry. It was kind of a," I remember Naruto dragging me into the salon practically by my feet, "Spur of the moment thing."

"Just like that boy, huh?" Sasuke asks and I turn to glare at him. He's acting like we didn't have this conversation just ten minutes ago.

"Boy? What boy?" My mom asks, looking between Sasuke and I. She remembers our past relationship and she generally didn't like it, even though she likes Sasuke. The idea of another boy must be exciting to her. The whole group is looking at me expectantly for answers.

"His name is Naruto and I met him at the hospital," I sigh dejectedly. I wanted to tell them at the right time, maybe introduce him at dinner or something.

"Why is he going to the hospital?" Ino asks, setting her coffee mug down and placing her hands down in her lap.

"Well, he's not exactly going to the hospital..." I say, trying to dance around the truth of him living in the hospital.

"Oh! So he's a doctor or a nurse?" My mom asks excitedly, clapping her hands. I let out a laugh because that _was_ our first impression of him.

"No, but- Hey! You met him, mom!" I exclaim, remembering that she was in the room with me. Her face twists in confusion.

"Wha- Oh!" A light bulb might as well pop out of her head. "That boy?" She says in dislike. Sasuke perks up a little and I cringe. I notice he practically hangs on my mother's every word. "That trouble maker that pretended to be a doctor?"

"Yes, mom. But he's not just a troublemaker. Really he's just looking for attention." I try to tell her, but she just scrunches up her nose in displeasure. Sasuke makes a satisfied noise and sits back in his chair, arms crossed. I'm about to defend him some more when my phone vibrates, I pick it up and look at it. It's a message from Naruto.

**Hey Sakuyra i am texcfting youi becuase THESE kEYTES ARE TOO DAMNH SMALL;**

I doubt that's what he was going to tell me and a bubble of laughter escapes me. I text back:

_They are pretty damnh small. Why don't you just call me later?_

When I put down my phone, still giggling, I'm met by four expectant glances. The smile falls off my face and I clear my throat.

"Who w-was that?" Hinata asks in her tinkling bell of a voice.

"A friend," I say and scoop up my plate, putting my phone in my pocket. I suddenly can't be around them anymore. They're all too judgmental and overbearing right now. "Well, thank you for the lovely breakfast, but I'm feeling tired. You know how tired cancer can make me be." I tell them all goodbye and I walk upstairs.

I feel their eyes burning into the back of my head as I make my way up. I just want to be alone right now.

Well, not completely alone. My phone vibrates and I check it again.

**Okay I will. Hey this is not that ahrd NHO DANGINT HARARRRRRRAAAAAAAAH**

Not completely alone, but almost.

* * *

_Wow, that whole ending section I typed up just this morning. So please don't hate me if there are errors!_

_I have an audition for a musical this morning! I probably won't get the part but I don't CAaaaaaAAAAARe_

_Honey badger don't give a fuck. Sorry BAD WORD BAAAAAAD WORRRD._

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Like always, leave me a review! It makes me happy. Also wish me luck! WAIT- don't do that that's bad luck. Wish me to break my leg!_

_Thespian logic. I like it._


	9. Chapter 9

It's funny; no matter how terrible an event is, with time you'll eventually forget it. Maybe that's the body's natural defense against things that keep you mentally unwell. That's what has happened to me - only it's not an event, it's a specific piece of information.

The information that I could die, particularly.

With everything that's happened lately, my mind just wanders. Maybe it forgets on purpose… Who knows? All I know is that something in me changed last night. Life caught up with me.

_You can't live in a perfect, oblivious world forever,_ I tell myself as I ignore the third call I've received this morning. I don't even bother to look at the person. It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters, I realize. Not all of the studying I've done. Not all of the work and time I've put into having a successful future. You can't have a successful future if you're six feet under the ground. Suddenly and without warning hot, angry tears fill my eyes and spill over. I grit my teeth and put my head in between my knees.

This is not how my life was supposed to go. I sob into my arms; I can't help it, I'm filled with so much grief and hurt I can no longer keep it in. I hate cancer so much. I hate leukemia. I hate needles and chemotherapy and throwing up. I'm thankful my mom is at work, patching things up and re-establishing herself there, because I really don't want her to see me like this. But I can't be strong forever.

I grip my chest where my heart is and just wish this pain would go away. What I would give to go back to only worrying about history tests and Prom. I let out a sad, pathetic laugh when I realize that this is the first time I've thought about Prom in several days.

The idea of actually being prom queen is so strange and stupid to me, since I honestly just want to live to see 18 now. I should just drop out of the race. Why haven't I done that yet? Monday I'll do that.

Oh, how priorities change.

When my mom comes home from work, she finds me underneath my blankets, my shades drawn and my body curled into the fetal position. Tears still leak in a steady stream from my eyes.

"Wha- Sakura?" I hear her voice after I don't answer the door. She makes her way over to me and I don't react to her.

"Sakura!" Her voice is a little frantic and she lifts the blanket away from my face. Cool air fills my cave of comforters and pillows. I don't look at her, I just find myself staring at the solved rubix cube resting on my nightstand. Sasuke really is a stupid fat-headed show off.

"Sweetie? Are you okay?" She says and sits down next to me, brushing my bangs away from my face. I shake my head and close my eyes. I can't make myself give voice to my worries.

"You can talk to me," She says quietly. I don't reply. We sit in silence for a while until she lets out a tired sigh and stands up.

"I'm here if you need to talk." I hear her leave the room and shut my door with a quiet click. I release the breath I didn't know I was holding. Her words echo in my head and I pull the blanket back over my head, sealing myself once more into my cave.

I don't want to talk.

. . .

"Mommy, something is wrong with Suki!" Little seven-year-old me cried as I clutched my small dog and ran into the kitchen.

Suki was my only childhood pet, since my family really wasn't big on animals in the house. I only managed to get her because we found her digging through our garbage at the back of the house one day. It had just finished raining, so there were puddles reflecting the pink, evening sky. While my father went to pick her up I darted in front of the dog, shielding her trembling body with my own.

"No, daddy!" I shrieked, stopping him in his tracks. "She's just hungry!"

"Me too, but I don't get to eat dinner because I need to pick the mess up that this little shit made," He snapped and I flinched at his harsh language.

"Satoshi!" My mom scolded him, he ignored her and pushed me out of the way a little too roughly. I fell to the ground, scraping my elbow on the cold, wet stone that made up our garden pathway. I ignored the stinging pain and panic gripped me as I saw my father pick the dog up by the skin on her neck. The dog let out a high pitched cry and my heart broke. I scrambled up and immediately started beating him ineffectively with my fists.

"Stop it!" I cried, tears in my eyes. "You're hurting her!" I wanted to save that scruffy looking, sickly dog with her ribs showing. No one should ever look that ill or hungry. My father looked down at me, my pink hair tied into a ribbon and my small fists pounding away at his pristinely ironed dress pants. Something must have changed his mind because his cold exterior softened. He bent down, setting the dog on the cobblestone in front of me and halting my fists in midair with his own gentle ones.

"You can feed him just for tonight, but after that we're taking him to the pound." I sniffled and looked up at my father, baffled by the kindness to his words. I scooped the shivering dog up into my arms, ignoring the wet dog smell, ecstatic about being able to keep her for a night.

"That was a good thing to do," I heard my mother tell him as he went inside, he just shook his head and mumbled something about being too soft hearted. I looked down at the white and brown dog, and I decided I liked her very much.

After much coaxing and petting she finally ate something. And of course, not wanting to miss a single minute away from my guest, I slept next to her makeshift bed. Some time during the night, the dog wiggled her way out of her box and planted herself next to me. That was how my father and mother found me, and something about Suki must have changed my father's mind, because they let me keep her.

So when I clung to my limp, barely breathing dog, I had the sudden urge to shove her in my father's face and to shout "Fix her!" He was sitting at the kitchen table, uncaring about the whole scene. My mom took her from me before I could, though, and set her down on the tiled kitchen floor.

She calmly examined Suki's eyes and her breathing. "She's alive but she looks sick. Let's get her to the vet," She said and grabbed a blanket to wrap my precious friend in.

I may have only been a child, but I knew from the way her head lolled back and the way her eyes were half shut that she was dying. She was an older dog, but my parents hadn't warned me about her dying yet, considering the fact that most dogs like her lived another 2 or 3 years.

I sat in the back seat, with Suki wrapped in her big blanket resting in my lap. She gave a high pitched cry when the car started moving.

"It's okay, Suki, everything will be fine," I assured her, trying to convince myself more than her. She blinked and let her head rest on my lap. I stroked her fur and I took comfort in her slow, raspy breaths against my thighs. I rolled my window down, expecting her to stand up and stick her out of the window; she loved the feel of the wind. But she didn't move. I knew that something must have been really wrong.

"Mom, what's wrong with her?" I asked my mom, who was sitting diagonally across from me, driving. Dad hadn't bothered to come along. Big surprise.

"Well, Suki is an old dog," She explained, keeping her eyes on the road. "Old dogs lose their drive and energy to fight diseases. If that's what's wrong with Suki," She took a deep breath and peeked at me through the rearview mirror, "She might not make it." I set my mouth in a tight line and pulled my dog a little closer to me, like my presence could chase off death.

We had merged onto the freeway when I felt the reassuring movements of her breathing stop completely.

"Suki?" I cried, terrified to move her. She didn't look up at me. She didn't do anything.

"Mom! MOM! She's not breathing!" I shrieked and my hands found my hair, curling into the pink locks. My mom's eyes widened and she turned to look at the dog in my lap.

"Oh, dear..." She groaned with tears in her eyes as she turned her attention back to the road. She pulled off the highway and into a makeshift parking lot, gravel crunching beneath the tires. There was some sort of carnival happening.

When she opened the back door and found me I was silent, tears spilling down my flushed cheeks and my hands still glued to my hair. I was gaping down at my dead dog, terrified and crushed. My mom gently took Suki from my lap and laid her on the seat next to mine. She pulled the blanket over her head and folded it, sealing her inside forever. It was the most terrifying thing, to know that the happy, tail-wagging dog I had played with hardly a week ago was that weird figure in the blanket.

"Come on, Sakura," My mom said quietly when she made it around to the other side of the car, she pulled me toward her so my legs were out of the car. She tenderly unwrapped my fingers from my hair and held them in her own hands.

"Look at me, baby." My gaze floated to her face. She brushed some hair out of my face and left her hand on my cheek. "Death is natural, and it was just Suki's time to go. She had a good life with us, and we're lucky to have had such a good dog."

An image of her digging through the trash on that rainy evening was brought to my mind. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes.

"Where is she now?" I asked in a thick voice, I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that she was just... gone. She was moving and thinking and breathing one second and then she wasn't the next. How can someone just cease to exist, even though they're right there?

"Oh, Sakura... She's in heaven with all of the other good doggies," She soothed and pulled me close to her, wrapping her arms around me. It was all too much for me and I broke into her soft shoulder, sobbing.

"Death is a part of life, and everyone dies," She said once my cries had ceased to hiccups.

"Even you?" I asked, shocked.

"Even me." She smiled sadly.

"Even _me_?" I squeaked.

"Even you, but not anytime soon." She touched my nose with the tip of her finger.

Sitting on the warm leather seats in the parking lot of a carnival, Suki's body wrapped up behind me, my mother was my rock. She kept me tethered to this earth and was the only person I could rely on. So naturally, I had believed her wholly.

If only she had been right.

. . .

I remain that way for all of Sunday and I even take a day off of school on Monday. I have extremely important matters to attend to, like suffocating myself under mounds of blankets and watching numbly as my hair pools at my feet in the shower; I'm simply swamped. How could I squeeze in something like school?

I receive the 48th text from Ino, I groan and open it.

_You better answer my calls or this friendship is over. _

I snort. Yeah right, she's been saying that for years. She's worried, she's just showing it in her own weird Ino way.

My mom is at work right now so I chance a trip down to the kitchen for a snack. I'm thankful my nausea is gone as I microwave some leftovers. I must have made some deal with the devil while I was asleep or something, because I feel like I've traded my extreme nausea for extreme fatigue. Although I do nothing but sleep, lie in bed, watch movies and eat I'm exhausted; even walking up the stairs is a feat.

My phone rings, cutting through my inner musings. It's Hinata. I grip my phone and guilt wears down on my shoulders. I should probably answer it, considering Hinata doesn't call me unless it's something important.

"Hello?" I answer.

"_AHAH!_ So you answer Hinata's call but not mine?" Ino's siren of a voice blares through and my hand meets my forehead. I've fallen right into a trap, although this trap has no snakes or bombs, just a pissed off best friend. I would kind of prefer the other trap.

"Well, I know that Hinata wouldn't murder my eardrums if I answered her call," I snap, sitting down at the kitchen table to stir my food angrily.

"I wouldn't have to murder your eardrums if you would just_ talk to me_!" She yells back and I wince, remembering Sasuke's words.

"_You didn't let anyone else be there for you!" _

"Look," I take a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk," I sigh and put my forehead in my hand, glaring down at the weird wood patterns on the kitchen table.

"I'm sure you have no trouble talking to Naruto," She says, voice laced with poison.

"I haven't spoken to him since Saturday!" I respond, offended.

"Wow! Great, that just proves you're a shitty friend to even him!" She laughs coldly and I can't say anything. My mouth opens and closes as I search for a retort, but I can't find one. "So, you don't disagree?" She gasps sarcastically and tears fill my eyes. I wipe them away violently, disgusted at the idea of crying at something as trivial as a few mean words.

"So sue me if I need a couple of personal days off! I have cancer, Ino. It's not something to easily get over," I say thickly, trying to keep my emotions intact.

"Oh, no. That's not my problem, take _months_ off for all I care!" Ino scoffs, "What I care about is our lack of communication! I'm your best friend, and I need to know you're okay." Her tone softens, "Cancer is some terrifying shit, and not just for you. For us too."

I'm speechless again, my mind scrambling around for the right words to say to her. But all that comes out is: "Sorry."

She sighs heavily, "I'm sorry, too. Text me when you decide to exist on this earth. Also, people are starting to wonder where you've gone. If you don't tell them what's going on soon, I will."

Before I can protest she hangs up, leaving me with silence. I put my head in my shaking hands and I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I just wish that they would understand that going through this and dealing with it emotionally is something I need to do on my own. They all have their own lives, and me just dragging them down with mine is wrong.

I push my phone away from me and eat my food in silence, my inner turmoil chipping away at me. I practically throw my dish in the sink, it clatters satisfactorily and I walk out of the kitchen, leaving my phone. The best way to ignore something is have it nowhere near you.

. . .

It's tuesday morning and I'm still in bed - much to the dismay of my mother, who keeps trying to open my windows to "let in some fresh air".

It's not like there isn't air in here already.

She asks me about my friends and school, but I remain silent.

"Sakura, you can't keep going like this forever!" She says, frustrated. My eyebrows narrow and I sit up in my bed, glaring at her.

"Why? _You _practically did!" I snap. Her eyes widen and she looks hurt.

"Look, I'm sorry I did that. I know it was wrong-" She says nervously, moving around my room. She picks up stray clothes and objects, trying to avoid my sharp gaze.

"Yeah? Then why did you do it?" I shout, thinking of all of those long, hopeless days. I needed my mom and she just wasn't there for me.

"You know I can't help it," She chokes out, tears filling her eyes.

"Well, you know what I couldn't help? Getting treated, puking my guts out, and almost falling over every second. But you know what the worst part about all of that was?" I ask her, she fidgets guiltily in my doorway.

"Not having my mother to help me through it!" There it is, her tipping point. Tears spill down her cheeks and I just cross my arms and lay back down on my bed, trying to ignore her the best I can.

"Sakura, I'm so sorry. I had no idea." She says in a broken voice.

I stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling, face stony. I try to push the guilty feeling building in my heart down. After several moments of stubborn silence, she gives up and I hear the door shut behind her silently. How _dare_ she make me feel bad for something that she did! It's not my fault that she goes into a coma anytime something bad happens, so why do I feel bad!

An image of her hurt face flashes through my mind and I groan, maybe I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. My arms unwind from each other. Why do I keep pushing people away? All they're trying to do is help. Something must be seriously wrong with me.

Lost in my own angry thoughts, I find myself drifting toward sleep.

. . .

"Pinky!" A voice practically yells and I feel myself jostled roughly. I groan in response. "Sakura-chan, wake up!" It continues. How can someone be so energetic so early in the morning?

"Would you_ leave me-_" I start to grumble but when I peek open an eye I don't see my mother, like I expect. I see a handsome, worried face looking down at me. I vaguely wonder if the effects of the chemo have really taken a weird but nice turn because there's no way this boy is really here.

"Naruto?"

* * *

_Hey, everyone! Sorry for the bit of delay with this chapter, and sorry for it just being an angst party. Hey, gotta have at least one in a story like this!_

_Also, hey there are covers now! That's freakin' awesome. And there's also something I want to talk about: reviews. The reviews you guys gave me at the beginning were amazing, deep, thoughtful reviews. This chapter rolls around and it's a lot of: "Good chapter" or "update soon"._

_Gee, thanks? I really want to reply to your reviews but I can't if it's a 3 worded review. Now, don't get me wrong, there's that handful of majestic and beautiful reviewers that I absolutely adore, but it's still a little disheartening when all of your 10 new reviews are made up of exactly 20 words._

_But, I don't want to be that annoying author that's like "10 good reviews or this chapter doesn't go up huurrrr durrr!1" I guess I feel like you guys are slacking. Shame on you! Joking. Totally joking. I'm probably slacking, if anyone is._

_Anyway, that was this chapter. Any idea on what's gonna happen next chapter? Let me know your thoughts and predictions, I want to see if I'm being too predictable._

_Hugs and Butterfly Kisses,_

_Bailey_

_OH! And I totally spaced, I got the head snake and Aphra in the musical. Thanks for all of your support. _


	10. Chapter 10

My first thought- which really doesn't make any sense, given the circumstances- is that Naruto's eyes are like never ending crystal blue pools. I'm almost positive that if I spend too much time looking at them, I'll fall in. And then I remember where I am and what I must look like. My face heats up underneath his scrutinizing gaze and before I know what I'm doing, my fist is brought down on top of his head.

"You idiot, Naruto! Don't you know not to go into a ladies room unannounced!" I snap, swinging my feet around to stand up. I glare down at him as he rubs the top of his head, hissing in pain.

His eyes sweep down my indecently dressed figure. He stutters and his face turns red, I realize my state of undress and my own face turns a similar shade. I'm just wearing what I usually wear to bed, underwear and a tank top.

"Get out!" I shout, mortified. He crab crawls backwards, his back hitting the door frame on the way out. His eyes are wide in fear as I practically chase him out.

I slam the door and the house rattles. I look down at myself and my palm meets my forehead. My panda underwear. Why did it have to be pandas? I even have several specific lacy pairs just for a boyfriends eyes! Well, not that Naruto is my boyfriend but at the same time it's not that I wouldn't let him see- _OKAY_ never mind. Fuming and grumbling to myself, I pull on clothes. What the hell is he even doing here? And how did he even get in? We almost always keep our doors locked.

And then I realize: My mom.

"Mom!" I call, throwing open my door and stopping down the stairs, right past a flinching Naruto. The kitchen is empty.

"Hello?" I call again, making my way into the living room. I stop and blink in confusion when I find a girl I've never met before standing uncomfortably by my front door. We stare at eachother, both equally awkward and surprised.

"Oh, uh. Hi." She coughs and I nod in response, racking my brain to see if I've ever met her before. Her sandy hair, pulled up into four spiky ponytails- which normally would make me cringe, but for her it works- is something I would remember.. Plus her style would stick in my head, she's dressed impeccably.

Naruto's voice pipes up behind me, "Oh! Sakura, this is Temari. She drove me here." He walks over to Temari and throws an arm around her, grinning widely. A strange, confused feeling shoots through me. I frown and look between them, how does she know him? Have I been reading the wrong signals from Naruto?

"And Temari, this is Sakura, my good friend." He practically glows when he introduces me, I give her a half hearted smile before I turn to Naruto.

"How'd you get in?" I interrogate him, "Is my mom behind this?"

He holds his hands up in surrender and explains, "She called me on your phone and asked me to come over." He scratches the back of his head. "She said you were having a hard time coping."

"Hard time coping?" I scoff, "She _would_ say that, but what does that even have to do with you?"

"I'm your distraction." he says truthfully, smiling apologetically. I stare at the two intruders and they shift uncomfortably underneath my hollow gaze. I just want to have a couple days to myself without being bothered, is that too much to ask for?

"I'm going back to bed," I grumble finally and turn away. Naruto makes a noise behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Look! I'm not just here because your mom asked me, I really care about you and I'm worried… To be honest you look terrible," He tells me and my eyebrow twitches. He sure does know how to make a girl feel good about herself.

"Yeah, well I feel terrible," I snap, not wanting a lecture on my appearance.

"Sakura, I know what you're going through."

"No, you don't!" I whirl around and jam an accusatory finger towards him.

"Yes, I do," He says calmly.

"How could you know? Are all of your plans for the future flushed down the drain? Are you concerned you won't live long enough to see 20? Oh, and are you constantly being bothered by people who 'care' about you?"

He shakes his head and sighs, "No, not exactly." I nod my head in sarcastic understanding and start to make my way up the stairs, but once again he stops me. I sigh in frustration, I just want to go back to bed!

"Okay, I know that you want to be alone, but leaving and going out _will help you._ If you just spend the day with me, I'll leave you alone. I won't bother you anymore, and I'll tell your mom that we talked and you feel better. _She'll_ leave you alone also," He bargains, palms facing upward. Considering my options, I sigh and hang my head. My thinning, short curtain of pink hair hides my face and I realize that I won't be able to do this soon, at the rate I'm losing hair.

There's really no saying 'no' to this kid. But on the other side, a few nag-less days for one day of going outside looks promising, and it really is a fair trade.

"Okay. Let me get ready," I finally say and he looks so excited, so pleased that I'm going with him. I turn around and I can't help the smile that tugs at my lips. It feels nice to feel wanted.

. . .

Temari's car is probably the nicest car I've ever seen, it's jet black exterior glimmers and I gape at it. I was unaware we were taking the _batmobil_e to wherever we're going. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating, but it's sleek and smooth and the engine purrs to life at the touch of a button on her car keys.

"This is your car?" I ask, blinking as if it's just a hallucination that'll disappear when my eyes open.

"Cool, huh?" Naruto grins and folds his arms behind his head, "Temari's father is rich."

"What is with you guys and being rich?" I grumble, frustrated. Everyone is rich besides me, it seems.

"My dad's a blood sucking politician. It's not any of his money," Temari snorts and rolls her eyes. I ponder it but shrug and nod. I don't know anything about politics so I won't question her.

"Sakura-chan, you can sit in the back with me!" He says, making his way to the opposite side of the car. I smile weakly back at him and adjust my white knit beret in the reflection of the tinted windows before opening the door and scooting in. My hair is thinning noticeably, so it looks like I'll be finally able to break in all of my old hats and the new ones my mom has bought me.

The interior of the car is just as nice as the exterior and I take in my surroundings: dark leather seats with a fur covered dashboard, a fan trinket dangling from the rearview mirror, and an impressive sound system currently playing some rock music I don't recognize.

Temari slides in and faces Naruto and I, looking at both of us expectantly. "Seatbelts," She orders and we're happy to oblige. We back out of my driveway smoothly and I stare out the window, my house disappearing as we make our way out of my neighborhood. I watch the trees whiz past us and I notice that the leaves are turning. I love Autumn, it's my favorite season; there's just something about the reds and golds lining the streets and the chilled air that gets me in a good mood. I feel better, I notice, maybe my mom and Naruto are right. Maybe just getting outside helps.

"So you're the girl Dickless keeps talking about," A voice chimes in front of me, my head snaps forward and I find the source: A teenage boy with porcelain skin and coal eyes gazing at me from the front seat. His expressionless face is peeking out from behind the leather headrest and I blink, surprised. I hadn't even known someone was sitting there, He must have been incredibly quiet when we got in.

"Um, I'm Sak-," I stop when I realize something. I look between a fuming Naruto and the boy, "Did you just call Naruto 'Dickless'?"

"Sai! You idiot! I told you not to say anything stupid!" Naruto cries, fists clenched towards Sai. I burst out laughing and both boys turn to look at me, Temari also peeks at me from her mirror. They look at me like I'm insane. I probably am.

"That's the funniest thing... I've heard in a long time," I gasp between laughs, wiping at my tears. Naruto's anger seems to melt away at my reaction and a small smile replaces his confused frown.

"That was funny?" I hear Sai ask Temari. She shakes her head in exasperation.

"To Sakura, it was." She shrugs and I feel Sai's impenetrable gaze back against my face. I turn to glare daggers at him and he doesn't falter. Huh, I thought that I could always break out that look and I'd deflect any creeping old men or annoying boys. What's with this guy? I squirm underneath his gaze and I feel like a science experiment.

"Just ignore him," Naruto whispers next to me, also glaring at Sai. "He doesn't know what he's saying." I drag my eyes from him to Naruto and nod. Ignore him. I can do that, considering how I've been ignoring everyone for the past week! Wait, that's not a good thing. I wonder how many of those texts and calls were from Naruto and a hot flash of guilt runs through me.

"Look," I start, biting my lip. "I'm sorry I've been distant lately. Things have been…" I search for the right words.

"Difficult? Harder than anything you imagined?" He supplies perfectly and I nod.

"That's exactly what it's been. Everything has become a chore for me now, even getting online. I never want to talk, or have fun, or listen to music or anything," I say, glaring down at my chewed fingernails. I shouldn't be chewing them, don't they stop growing too, from chemo? I think I read somewhere that the growing slows and they become brittle. Time to add "nail-biting" to the list of the things I need to stop.

"It gets better," Naruto assures me and reaches over, placing his hand over mine. Our fingers interlock. I look up at him and find myself- once again- smitten with his eyes. "I promise," He finishes and gives my hand a squeeze. I believe him, to my surprise; he's just so honest and it seems like he truly believes it. I could never get that much honesty and confidence from Ino, my mom or Hinata- well especially not Hinata.

"Hand holding, a sign of affection usually only displayed between two people romantically interested in each other," Sai notes and turns forward in his seat. Naruto and I glare at him like were attempting to burn holes in his head, I can't help it this time. What the hell is he doing, taking notes about us? "Ugly and Dickless seem to have a romantic bond," He says to the windshield.

"SAI YOU ASSHOLE!" Naruto growls, outraged. My own face heats up in anger. Ugly? How dare this jerk call me ugly, he doesn't even know me! Well, he didn't know me a month ago. My confidence falters and I guess I kind of don't blame him for coming to that conclusion, I imagine how I look: Pale, sunken skin, dark circles under my eyes, my eyebrows and eyelashes are disappearing more and more everyday.

Eyebrows are for squares anyway.

"Now, now everyone. I'd like to get us all to our destination in one piece," Temari says in a sickly sweet voice. "SO ALL OF YOU BETTER BEHAVE!" She shouts and I cringe, I think I even see Sai flinch. I breathe deeply, trying my hardest not to kick the back of Sai's seat repeatedly. _That'd be bratty and immature_, I think, _but I'm not above attempting it._

"No problem, Temari," I say, plastering a fake smile on my face. Several, awkward moments pass by and I see Naruto is still fuming. Now it's my turn to give his hand a calming squeeze. He looks over at me and seems to cool down a little.

I'd really like to ask him what the deal is with Sai, but Temari still looks angry, judging by her white knuckled grip on the steering wheel. I choose to keep quiet although I have a hundred questions stirring inside me; How do they even know Sai? What the hell is wrong with him? How does Naruto know Temari? Why is she driving us? Where is she driving us?

I find myself looking out the window at Konoha, the carved faces of our past leaders etched into the stone on the mountain. What a great way to commemorate them and who they were to our little city. I frown and wonder how people will remember me if I die; i'm probably just going to get a gravestone that says, "Here lies Sakura Haruno; She died alone, friendless, and eyebrowless."

No, I doubt that's what my mom would choose, I think that's what I would choose.

. . .

"The Hospital?" I ask, unimpressed. You think people who were trying to cheer me up would take me somewhere fun, like an arcade or a movie… but taking me to a place where this whole nightmare started? _Nice, guys. You've really outdone yourself._

"Yep," Naruto says and I sigh. Great. What're we gonna do? Terrorize the orderlies in a bit of 'harmless fun'? My eyebrows raise when we don't go in the traditional entrance, instead Temari follows a curved road to the back of the hospital, to a different one.

"Alright," She says when we're all parked, unbuckling. "Everybody out." I unbuckle and step out, observing this new side of the hospital. It's pretty much identical to the front, except there are a lot more families and women with newborn babies cradled in their arms as they enter or exit. I give Naruto a confused look and he gives me a tight, almost stressed, smile.

When the doors slide open the first thing I notice is the carpet, it's bright and happy, shapes and designs running through it. The second thing I notice is the waiting-room-made-playroom. The third thing I witness is a tired looking father wheeling his handicapped son out of the doors on a wheelchair. Oh, no.

"This is the children's section?"

. . .

"Naruto!" The kids cry almost in unison, looking up from whatever they're doing.

"Hey!" He laughs as they abandon their colorful chairs and run up to him, some stay seated, too weak to move, but I see them smile and wave. A lump forms in my throat as I look around the sunny room. It's a library specifically for little kids. It's littered with bean bags, coloring books, blocks and there's a TV in one corner. Naruto plops himself on a beanbag and the children swarm him, all talking at once.

"Where have you been?"

"Who's that lady?"

"Let's read this one today!"

"Naruto, can _I _sit on your lap this time?" One small girl asks, well, I think she's a girl, it's a little difficult to tell with the lack of hair. In fact, everyone in this room looks like they could be either girl or boy. The only way I can confirm is by their clothes, and even then some are wearing neutral colored hospital gowns or pajamas.

"Of course, Ayumi!" He grins and lifts her up and sets her on his lap. She smiles ear to ear, blushing.

"They really love him," Temari murmurs next to me and I jump, I had forgotten I wasn't alone. Sai nods in confirmation and I look back to Naruto, pride filling my chest as I watch him animatedly read a story to the kids. They adore him, it's easy to tell by the stars in their eyes. I look back up at Naruto and study him, he seems so content and happy. It's almost like this is the place where he belongs, in the middle of the kids, entertaining them. He's like their own personal sunshine. I wonder how many times he visits them, probably a lot considering how all of them know him by name.

I see a couple of orderlies in the corner smile fondly in his direction but get back to work, trusting him to watch over them.

"They do," I whisper back, choked with emotion. Naruto finishes his story and the kids applaud and laugh, one boy breaks off from the group and whispers something to Naruto, eyes pointed to the corner where the three of us are. His face heats up when he pulls away from Naruto, embarrassed.

"Oh! That's Sakura-chan!" He says loudly and a dozen pale, fuzzy heads swivel towards me, I stiffen. "Come here, Pinky!" He calls and I have no choice but to obey. I gingerly make my way toward him and the kids part before me, leaving me room to stand next to him.

"This," He stands up after gently lifting Ayumi off his lap and drapes an arm around me, "Is Sakura."

"Hi guys!" I greet and they smile at me when they confirm I'm not a grumpy dragon lady.

"Hi Sakura!" A few of them croon and one pops up and takes my hand, pulling me along.

"Come play dolls with me!" She says in a twinkling voice and I follow along clumsily.

"Naruto, she's pretty!" I hear behind me as we exit the circle.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"She has pink hair!"

"Can she be _my _girlfriend?" At this Naruto chuckles, but changes the subject, thankfully. My cheeks are tinged pink when I'm jerked down next to a doll house.

"My name is Hikaru. Here," She introduces herself abruptly and hands me a doll, brushing its purple hair out of its eyes, "You can have Lily." I take the doll from her and smile fondly, it's been so long since I've played dolls.

"And I'll be Yumi," Hikaru informs me and tells me the story line: Lily and Yumi are best friends, but Yumi loves Kuro, who is Lily's boyfriend. But, plot twist, Kuro actually doesn't like girls at all!

"I love you, Kuro!" I squeak, moving my doll with my words, amused with the whole situation.

"I'm sorry, Lily, but I love.." She says in her best growling, man voice, "Boys!" My doll gasps, screams in horror and falls face down and Hikaru and I burst out laughing.

"What next?" I ask, mouth tugged into an amused smile.

"Kuro gets married to the man of his dreams," She says and I'm filled with such hope and happiness for future generations, it's true what they say: no one is born homophobic. I feel someone staring at me and my eyes flick up to meet Naruto's; he's looking at me with such tenderness held in his warm, sky blue eyes that my face burns and I look back down.

"You go ahead and do that," I tell her, standing up quickly, I don't know why I need to leave, I just do, "Sorry, I have to go talk to someone. Thanks for letting me play with you, Hikaru" She nods, a little disappointed.

I stand up, my eyes roaming the room to find Temari. I want to go to the bathroom, but I don't know where it is. She'll be able to tell me. She's nowhere to be found, but I find Sai sitting with a child in a wheelchair, facing the window. He's on a chair, sitting indian style and they're talking quietly to each other. Sai retrieves something from his bag and I make my way over to them. I scoot up a chair next to Sai, curious as to what he's doing. He tenses when I come near but continues pulling out a sketchbook.

My eyebrows lift as he unsheathes a full set of paints and paintbrushes. He's an artist? He dips a medium sized paintbrush in black paint and gently moves the bristles in long, graceful strokes. The kid in the wheelchair and I watch intently as the picture comes alive in front of us. I see a figure, hands outstretched and reaching. Sai adds beautifully feathered wings to his back and there's so much detail and It's so beautiful my heart clenches. Who knew that the abrupt, rude, and inappropriate Sai could make such wonderful art?

I gain a newfound respect for him and I peek at the boy in the wheelchair. He looks like he's in probably in the worst shape out of all of the children, he's frightfully skinny and has a tube that helps him breathe, his pale skin is almost translucent, pale blue and purple veins show on his bald head and weak looking arms, contrasting against the white of his skin. Something clicks inside my head and I blink, looking back and forth from him and the painting. The face in the painting is his face! Tears come to my eyes when I see his expression, he looks so hopeful and happy while watching Sai draw him flying away.

I look back at the painting and I see some new additions: Whispy, blue clouds and the green and grey ground beneath him. I see the top of a structure and I realize it's the hospital roof. I wipe at my tears that I didn't know I was crying. The last thing Sai finishes is a soft, golden halo atop the boys head.

"Thank you," The boy whispers as Sai hands it to him. Sai nods in response, and I think I see his eyes soften.

"Ready to go, Ryuu?" A pretty nurse asks, holding a clipboard. He nods wordlessly and she wheels him out of the room, him still clutching his drawing.

"You're crying," Sai observes and I turn my head away quickly and wipe my tears away. I know it's useless; my face will be pink for a while.

"So?" I choke, trying to stop the tears.

"You are sad," He says, as if the concept is foreign to him. I laugh and shake my head. I can't believe this kid.

"No shit, Sherlock," I grumble and turn to face him, his eyebrows furrow in an expression of light confusion.

"My name is not Sherlock," He says.

"...Nevermind."

* * *

_Sorry about the delay it's just that this chapter wasn't working! I had it typed out for days but it didn't sit right with me… It still doesn't, although it's better._

_I just feel like this chapter doesn't live up to how good it can be. -sigh-_

_Anyway! Review it and let me know what you think. _


	11. Chapter 11

I give up on trying to cross my legs lady-like on the squat, short colorful chair and I sit Indian style like Sai is doing to my right. Naruto, on my left, is adamantly against sitting that way, his long legs stretching out into the middle of the circle. I see several boys attempting to sit the same way, but their legs aren't long enough yet to achieve the same effect.

"Alright!" The bubbly, blonde counselor chirps, eyes sparkling at all of the sick kids sitting restlessly in a circle. Apparently these meetings happen every week, a sort of session to not only observe a child's mental state but to also help them understand what they're feeling. But above everything else, I think, it helps them make friends. "We seem to have some new faces today!" Her green eyes wander to Temari, Sai, and I as she continues, "Let's all introduce ourselves to them!"

"I'll go first!" A voice squeaks and I remember her as the girl who sat on Naruto's lap in the beginning. She takes a deep breath- as if preparing to dive into a pool- and starts talking faster than anyone I've ever heard, "My name is Ayumi and my favorite color is yellow," She rushes on, "When I grow up I want to be a ballerina." She finishes proudly and my eyebrows shoot up, I really only caught a couple words and I feel bad. Naruto chuckles good naturedly and she blushes.

It goes across the circle and I pay attention to each child as they come out of their shells, blooming and talking excitedly- they say nothing of their sickness or disease, though. They all have a pretty happy outlook on life and the future, some are striving to be astronauts or artists, and this strikes me as odd. Surely some of them must be upset about being sick! I compare my own attitude for the past few days to theirs and I feel ashamed. They have it worse than me, and they're only little kids, none above the age of ten! I mentally kick myself to focus when I notice the little boy speaking is looking directly at me.

"I plan on being the best husband ever!" He says and I blink rapidly, is he… talking himself up to me? He's like, seven! Holding back a laugh, I smile at him and his face turns the color of my hair.

"My turn?" Temari asks and the groups attention shifts to her. She seems to ponder her words, "My name is Temari and my favorite color is purple. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up."

"But aren't you already a grown-up?" A kid asks, tilting his head in confusion. Temari cracks a smile and her normally sharp looking eyes soften.

"Well, I'm 18, so legally yes. But growing up is all a matter of maturity and how you perceive yourself. In my head I'm only 15," She finishes and shrugs, a few kids nod excitedly.

"Well I'm grown up!"

"I'm as old as Santa!"

"I'm still 5," An 8 year old declares proudly.

"Alright," The counselor says, she looks kind of jittery, like she can't handle any sort of uproar from the children, "Thank you... Temari." She smiles a closed mouth smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"You're welcome," Temari says, smiling in a similar manner. Naruto and I exchange an amused look.

"My name is Sai!" Sai bellows loudly and the whole room stops chatting about what age they are and looks at him. "My favorite color is black!" He shouts and some of the kids use their little fingers to plug their ears against the offensively loud voice, "I am an artist and I can draw pictures of you if you would want to request one!" He finishes and bows, looking expectedly around the circle. We all stare at him and some kids slowly unplug their ears, watching him with a mixture of curiosity, fear and excitement. Several hands shoot up into the air.

"I want one!" They say in unison and freeze, turning their heads slowly to glare at their competition.

"Ah, okay," The counselor says in a nervous voice, looking from the angry kids to Sai. "Everyone calm down!" She calls and holds up her hands and I can't stifle an eye-roll. This woman is impossible. She chooses a job revolving around little, hyperactive children and can't even handle it when they get a little loud?

"Your turn," Naruto murmurs, breaking me out of my thoughts and nudges me with his elbow.

"My name is Sakura," I say, caught off guard. "But I already told you that, didn't I?" I note, tapping a finger to my chin, thinking of what I could say. "My favorite color is pink," I decide to follow everyone's lead so far and just stick with basic information.

"Is that why you dyed your hair pink?" A girl asks, and I notice it's Hikaru, the girl I played dolls with.

"No, my hair is natural," I say modestly, used to the question.

"What?"

"No fair!" The girl next to her pouts and crosses her arms, wrinkling her pretty floral sundress.

"Um, I took piano lessons for several years," I flounder, unsure of what to say. I always use the whole "I play piano" card when I need something quick and easy to tell people, even though playing still makes me want to puke. Across from me, I notice Ayumi's eyes are filled with tears and she's looking down at the ground.

"That's cool!" Someone comments and several agree.

"I didn't know that, Sakura-chan!" Naruto says in surprise and I just nod, not paying attention to them. I'm too busy observing Ayumi's reaction.

"Ayumi? You okay?" I ask uncertaintly and her watery eyes snap up to meet mine, surprised. Everyone looks at her, surprised at the abrupt change in conversation. Something flashes through her face and she just clenches her fists onto the edges of her chair. She looks back down at the ground and takes a shaky breath.

"You're so beautiful and your hair is so pink and… pretty!" She cries, tears streaming down her pale cheeks, "My hair is gone. I can't play an instrument and I'm not pretty and I don't stand a chance against you," She chokes out slowly, still glaring at the floor. I shake my head, not understanding.

"Why would you need to stand a chance against me?" I ask quietly, the whole group looks from me to her and I think I see the counselor fidget uncomfortably.

Her eyes flick up to Naruto and realization floods through me: _she likes Naruto_. No wonder she would be worried, with the way Naruto and I share glances and soft words anyone would assume we were together.

"Hey," I say softly and stand up, making my way over to where she's sitting, I lean down until I can make eye contact. "Let's go talk," I suggest, not liking the audience we have. What I'm doing may be unconventional, but I don't care.

She nods and follows me out of the circle. We find a couple of bean bags in between two shelves of books. I hear the group continue on with Naruto and I sigh in relief.

"I have Leukemia," I tell her after we're settled, she looks at me in surprise, you can tell that wasn't what she's expecting. "My hair is already falling out," I continue and reach up a hand to slowly take off my hat. Several strands stick to the material when I take it off but I'm too focused on Ayumi's confused and shocked gaze to care.

"See?" I say cheerfully, showing her a couple of bald spots that have accumulated. She reaches out and pulls a hair from my green v-neck sweater.

"I'm sorry," She whispers and I shake my head, taking her hands in my own. The pink hair floats down to the ground, forgotten.

"No, I'm sorry," I say honestly, "I'm sorry you have to deal with this so young. I thought I was the only person suffering like I was, but I see how much you have to deal with and I feel selfish."

"But you're still going to be pretty without-!" She tries to tell me but I continue on.

"Just like you! You're beautiful, Ayumi," I tell her honestly, trying to help her see, "With or without hair." I finish and I remember that's exactly what Ino told me.

"So when we're both as bald as a baby we'll have an equal chance with Naruto, how about that?" I tell her, releasing her hands. She looks at me cautiously but nods, a smile tugging on her lips. Unexpectedly, she throws her arms around me and I fall back in my bean bag, surprised.

"Thank you," She chokes out, her soft head brushing against my cheek.

"No," I tell her and wrap my arms around her, not attempting to stop the few tears that roll down my face. "Thank _you_."

. . .

"What was that about?" Temari asks me quietly as we watch Sai once again evoke a reaction from Naruto. We're making our way down the brightly lit hallway, past the cafeteria and toward the elevator. Where we're going is a mystery to me.

"Ayumi likes Naruto," I mumble back, "She was upset because she thought she didn't stand a chance against me."

"What'd you tell her?" Her eyebrows furrow as Sai presses the button on the elevator, successfully beating Naruto to it. Naruto cries out in frustration.

"I wanted to press it, Sai!" He says and we roll our eyes. They've been fighting non-stop since we left the children's section. Well, not really fighting… Sai just does something to bother Naruto, it's almost like Sai enjoys his reactions.

"I told her how I'd be bald just like her in a week or two and she felt better." I shrug and Temari looks at me sharply, concern etched on her face.

"What do you have?" She asks and I'm not surprised, she must have figured it out sometime. But then again, I haven't really been keeping it a secret, talking with Naruto about it in the back seat, shouting at him in the kitchen. She must have heard something and put two and two together.

"Leukemia," I say and the elevator door slides open, dinging. She sucks in air through her teeth and we step into the grey, sterile looking elevator.

"Acute?" She guesses. I nod and I see her wince. I'm reminded of how I still haven't told my friends at school. Ino's threat floats through my mind, _"If you won't tell them, I will." _I feel drained all of a sudden and lean against the wall, resting. I can't believe I've missed three days of school, they're all exempt of course, but all of that work I'm going to have to do will be hell.

_I'm going back tomorrow_, I decide; now that I don't feel so crappy there's no reason not to go. I look over at Temari, studying her. She's leaning against the rail, blue eyes staring off into space.

"So, how do you know Naruto?" I blurt, confident that he's too busy trying to prevent Sai from pressing all of the buttons on the button pad, making us stop on each floor to notice.

"My brother is a regular patient here," She says, not offering any more.

"And Sai?" I can't help but ask.

"Also a regular patient." She tells me and it makes sense, of course Naruto wouldn't be friendless, he has friends just like him! Well, not _just_ like him… But they all reside within these stifling cheerful walls.

"For cancer?" I ask, although some part of me knows that it isn't cancer.

"No," She says just as the elevator dings and the doors slide open once again. A big sign hangs on the ceiling and it reads, 'MENTAL WARD'

"Oh," I say dumbly, shock coursing through me.

"Yep," She says and I follow them out.

. . .

"Eh!" Naruto says, having been stopped by an infuriated Dr. Tsunade.

"You heard me! I saw underneath your mattress, you haven't been taking your pills!" She fumes and grabs his ear, dragging him down the hallway. I don't know how she found us, considering how she works three floors down, she must have been scouring all of the spots he hangs out. I'm surprised she didn't check the children's section.

Sai, Temari and I all stand there awkwardly in the hallway as Naruto is pulled away and around a corner.

"Go on without me!" He calls right before he disappears behind the wall. I laugh, but worry begins to eat at me. He hasn't been taking his medicine? What does that mean for him?

"Medicine?" I ask, still staring down the hallway.

"For his condition," Sai says and Temari clamps a hand down on his mouth, smiling reassuringly at me.

"It's nothing that could harm you or cause a threat to your safety, we promise. It's just that Naruto asked us not to tell you," She says and I feel even more worried.

"What? I know he would never hurt me but, why wouldn't he want me to know?" I ask, myself more than anyone. I knew that he was sick, I've always known, but I guess I've never wondered how bad it was or what it could entail for him.

"Because he likes you!" Sai manages to say after breaking free from Temari's choke hold. She brings her fist down on his head.

"Sai you idiot! He told us not to tell her that either!" She shouts and the male nurse at the front desk shushes her. I find myself tuning them out until I'm lost in my own thoughts.

Naruto likes me! I mean, I'm not totally surprised, but to have it said out loud and to have it be true, it just gets me thinking. I do like Naruto, I know that for sure, and I do believe that he's more than a friend to me. What I don't know is if we could ever be together. Isn't it bad for someone sick like me to get into a relationship? I could die in a couple of years, leaving a partner behind would be selfish. But then you have to consider his illness, is it fatal? The thought makes me stop; I had never thought about it.

"If you guys aren't going to check in, I'm going to have to ask you to leave this floor," The nurse snaps, pushing up his thick-lensed glasses and Temari apologizes.

"Of course, I'm sorry," She says and approaches the desk, "I'm here to see my brother, Gaara, room 214." He types something up and looks expectantly at me and I panic, what do I say? "And this is Sakura Haruno, a family friend," She adds hastily, saving me.

"I see," He notes in a bored tone and taps rapidly at his keyboard. He prints something out for the two of us, it comes out of a small printer, like a receipt. Temari takes it and splits it in two, handing one to me. They're name tags for both of us, in large print it says our names and in smaller print it's labeled "guest".

"Sai, you're going to be in big trouble when Dr. Tsunade learns you snuck out," He says, finally acknowledging our extra member.

"I got permission," He replies and the male nurse just raises an eyebrow toward him, obviously not buying it. Without another word he presses a button and the doors leading into the ward click, signaling that they're unlocked.

"Thank you," We mutter and bow slightly before making our way through the door.

The ward isn't anything like what I expect it to be, in fact it's almost the opposite. It's light and open, like most parts of the hospital, with modern furniture and light fixtures. There's a sort of lobby where the patients and their families can meet and talk and I see some congregating right now as we walk past it. You can tell they're patients by their clothes: Light, pastel colored scrubs.

We pass the lobby and head wordlessly down the hallway, doors to individual rooms lining the hall. I swallow as we pass a room where an inhabitant has his face pressed against the long, narrow glass window, gazing intently at us. I shudder.

"That's Michi, he sees everyone as little green men," Sai tells me and I shake my head. Poor guy. Something occurs to me as I look over at Sai.

"Wait, so why are _you_ a patient here?" I ask him as we wind our way through the endless halls to get to room 214.

"Memory loss. The first thing I remember is waking up in the emergency room with the doctors asking for my name and information."

"Really?" I ask, surprised. He nods.

"What happened?"

"I can't really remember," He says and I feel dumb. Right, ya know.. Memory loss.

"Wait," I say, trying to catch up to him, since we've started talking he's picked up his pace to walk faster than me, "So you don't know who you are or where you're from?" I ask him almost desperately, studying his face.

"No," He replies and I feel even sadder. He stares straight ahead, not making eye contact. What must it be like? To not know who your own parents are? To have no recollection of anything past waking up in a hospital bed? To not know your real name? He has literally not known anything but this hospital. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and he slows down, turning around to look at me. He looks surprised at the physical contact.

"I am so sorry," I tell him, voice choked with emotion.

"You're sad," He notes for the second time, concern etched on his porcelain face.

"I am," I say and nod. I drop my hand and after a bit we wordlessly catch up to Temari. She had walked ahead of us so we could talk.

"So, why did they decide to call you 'Sai'?" I ask, clasping my hands behind my back and smiling at him.

"Sai means paint, and when I discovered I could paint, that's all I did for weeks on end. People eventually just named me that," He tells me, still void of emotion. I shake my head. Only this guy can talk about something he absolutely adores doing and remain stone cold.

"We're here," Temari says in front of us and we halt in front of door 214. Temari knocks softly before letting us in.

"Gaara, you have some guests," She greets and a boy about our age looks up from a book, pleasantly surprised. He's lounging on a chair by the window and my eyes widen when I take in the incredibly dark circles surrounding his eyes. Why are they like that?

He puts his book down and stands up, smiling softly.

"Sai," He greets cordially and turns his questioning gaze to me.

"I'm Sakura, a friend of Naruto's," I tell him and bow.

"Any friend of Naruto's is a friend of mine." He bows respectfully back to me. I glance at Temari and she's smiling at her little brother, eyes full of pride.

"We're showing Sakura around, that's why we've stopped by," She chimes in, draping an arm around me. "She was feeling sorry for herself and Naruto decided to give her a new outlook on life."

"She has cancer," Sai clarifies and I flinch at their bluntness.

"_Thank you, _you two." I say quickly and remove Temari's arm from around my shoulder, annoyed with them. They remind me too much of my own obnoxious friends.

"A new outlook on life," Gaara muses and brings a hand up to scratch his cheek, "Naruto will give that to you... Even if you don't want one." He almost looks... guilty, I note.

"It's true," Temari agrees and plops down onto Gaara's bed.

"I wonder how he's doing now," I say and bite my lip. Tsunade looked really angry. What if they put him under house arrest and I won't be able to see him anymore?

"Where is he?" Gaara asks, concerned.

"He was caught not taking his medicine by Tsunade, he's probably just getting an earful right now," Temari rolls off, examining her fingernails. Gaara relaxes once he hears this and I look at them in confusion, why aren't they worried?

Oh right, hospital prankster. Got it.

I sit down next to Temari and kick my feet out, admiring my shoes. They're these new converse that I've just started wearing. I found them in my closet while I was searching for old hats and beanies.

"Nice shoes," Temari says and I give her a smile.

"Thanks. Nice," I start to compliment her, skimming her outfit, "Everything." We laugh.

"It's just a perk of having money," She shrugs and I sigh.

"Right, I forgot."

"How else could Gaara-san afford to stay in here?" Sai asks, sitting down on the floor cross-legged.

"Well, how can you afford to stay in here?" I ask.

"Naruto's godfather, Jiraya, pays for me," He says. That makes sense.

"Wait, why are you in here, Gaara?" I'm just asking so many questions today, aren't I?

"I have an extreme case of an insomnia which sometimes leads to violent and terrifying night terrors," He explains smoothly and I jerk my head up, shocked. "Except they happen while I'm awake. And not always during the night." I shake my head in disbelief. He said that as if he was explaining why his favorite color was green. Night terrors? Holy crap.

"Naruto works wonders, I'm almost one hundred percent self-pity free," I say and Gaara and Temari laugh.

The relaxed atmosphere shatters as a menacing figure appears in the doorway.

"You three, come with me," Tsunade snaps, pointing to Sai, Temari and I. We all jump up guiltily, like we were caught playing spin the bottle, not just sitting and talking. Only after a little hesitation do I start forward towards her. I never thought I would receive such an angry look from a person of authority. I shudder.

Well, I guess there's a first for everything.

* * *

_Not much to say for this one but character development! Sorry if it was kind of slow, but she'll be going to school soon, presumably to tell her friends. So, that'll be exciting!_

_Like always, please review and tell me what you like.. Or what you don't! I'm always up for improving. _

_Hugs and Butterfly kisses, _

_Bailey_


	12. Chapter 12

Tsunade drums her fingers against her mahogany desk, eyes narrowed at the three of us. We all sit across from her, nervous and tense. I watch as her ruby fingernails tap against the wood, trying to avoid her cutting gaze.

"Well?" She asks, breaking through the silence, "Care to explain yourselves?"

"Explain what, Dr. Tsunade?" Sai asks. I can't tell if he's acting stupid or if he really doesn't know.

"Explain to me as to why you have all been sneaking an unstable patient out when he's clearly under hospital arrest," She snaps and I flinch. My mouth opens to speak but I flounder, not knowing what to say.

"Wait! Dr. Tsunade, with all due respect I want to ask you if you can let Sakura go," Temari cuts in and I look at her in confusion. I'm just as guilty as her, since I took him to the mall the other day when I knew that he wasn't supposed to leave.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Tsunade sighs, sitting back in her chair, "She has also taken Naruto out of our care for a period of time, and during that time he could have had a reaction." I nod and look down at my hands, shame settling onto my shoulders. I shouldn't have taken him, but he was so honest and pleading.

"_Sometimes it just gets too much! I want to be able to leave when I want," He says, suddenly heated. He looks at something a million miles away, waving his hands in the air animatedly as he talks, "I want to go to school! I want to go to the movies, to an amusement park and throw up on a roller coaster! Or if it were just something as simple as going to the park for a half an hour; I don't care, I just want to have some freedom."_

I can understand his great need for freedom and room to breathe, but when you have some sort of life threatening condition... You should probably not go too wild.

"Yes, but she didn't know about his condition," Temari pleads, "She _still_ doesn't know and that's how Naruto wants it."

"When a friend asks you to honor their wishes, you do," Sai adds quietly, almost looking upset.

Tsunade's narrowed eyes flick from Temari and Sai, thinking. She finally gives a tired sigh and looks at me.

"Sakura, please go wait outside for a couple of minutes," She tells me and I nod, a little flabbergasted. Why would they go all this way just to have me be in the dark?

I stand from my leather chair and leave the darkened, richly furnished office. I have a frown on my face as I step out and shut the door behind me. Finding a bench to my right, I plop down onto it and stare at my new shoes. Why is life so difficult now? I remember when I could be excited about something like a new pair of shoes for a week, but now I don't even get an hour before something else gets in the way.

"I'm sorry I got you into trouble," I hear and look up to find a sheepish looking Naruto hands in his pockets. I sigh and look back down at my loosening shoelaces, they hang hazardously onto the carpet. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll trip and fall and my mom will have to come pick me up, since I will suffer terrible, terrible injuries. Nothing worse than a bloody nose.

Well, besides Leukemia.

"I didn't really get into trouble," I tell him, trying to push my anger towards him down. It would be so much easier if he would just let me know what's wrong with him. "I got kicked out before I could."

"Really?" He looks surprised and I nod. He makes his way over to me and sits down. I don't look up at him.

"Then why are you mad at me?" He asks, confused with my closed off body language.

"Not really mad," I tell him, finally raising my head to meet his eyes, "Just sad and pretty annoyed."

"Why?"

"Because you don't trust me enough to tell me what your condition is," I say somberly, searching his summer sky blue eyes.

"No, that's not true!" He cries, grabbing my shoulders. "That's not true at all!"

"Yeah, well why won't you tell me?" I ask, frustrated. I stand up and out of his grasp. He stands up too, looking at me like he wants to tell me everything.

"Because I _can't_!"

"_Why?" _I shout, self control taking a backseat to my frustration. I feel a lump form in my throat.

"Because I don't want to lose you!" He shouts back, hands running through his hair and then throwing them out. My thinned eyebrows raise. Lose me? Why would he lose me?

"Look, Sakura. You're the best thing to happen to me since I was diagnosed and was stuck in this god forsaken place," He tells me and gathers my hands in his own. The pure honesty of his words make me suddenly light headed. I find myself gripping his own warm hands like if I let go I'll float away. "If you find out what I have, I'm afraid you'll get freaked out and leave and never want to see me again," He finishes, choking out the last couple words.

"Naruto," I start, "If you had known me a couple of years ago, you would never think that. It takes a lot to get rid of me." It's true, I was hung up on Sasuke for years, even though he had never shown any attraction to me until high school.

"I care about you," I continue and an expression of hope floods his face. I realize the truth of the statement and look away, I've only known him a couple of weeks, but he's one of my most precious friends. The thought scares me. "I care about you a lot," I repeat, as though saying it again will make it easier for me to wrap my head around.

"Whatever it is," I swallow, feeling a lump rise, "I can handle it."

"Are you sure?" He asks, eyes shining with hope and relief.

"Yes." We look at each other, still holding hands. And just like that, Naruto Uzumaki is so much more to me than just the boy in the hospital.

His happy expression is replaced with an annoyed one as we hear a muffled bang and hissed whispers coming from behind Tsunade's door. He points to it and his eyebrow twitches. I sigh in annoyance and Naruto opens the door. Sai, Temari and Tsunade tumble out smiling and laughing guiltily.

"Uh, hi?" He asks, arms crossed. I shake my head in annoyance at the pile of eavesdroppers, wondering how much they heard.

"Hello," Sai says pleasantly, lifting a hand in salutation.

. . .

"So, _brain tumors_?" I ask, trying not to squeak and attempting to contain my panic. Naruto lounges next to me and Dr. Tsunade sits across from me at her desk, watching me for my reaction. I swallow and collect myself.

"I was imagining worse." Not really, but I would never say that out loud. Naruto's expression is one of extreme relief.

"But wait," I pause, "If you've removed them, why does he have to stay here?" I ask, not quite understanding.

"It's not that simple, just because we remove them, it doesn't mean that they don't grow back," Tsunade informs me. "Also, on top of the smaller ones, there is a larger, more dangerous one that could possibly develop."

She pulls a picture from a file, it's a diagram of the human brain. She points along the brainstem. "If it develops here, there's no way we could remove it with surgery. It would take radiation and chemotherapy," She tells me and looks at Naruto before continuing, "Now that Naruto is 16 he is legally allowed to refuse radiation and chemotherapy, and that's what he has chosen to do."

I gasp and look at Naruto, he just smiles sadly and shrugs. I don't understand. Why isn't he being treated?

"Luckily, we haven't seen any new or dangerous tumors developing or growing," She says and puts the diagram back in her folder and flips it onto her desk, _"Yet."_

"Yet?"

"There's a good chance that they will come back, they have been since he arrived here. We remove some, new ones grow, we remove some, new ones grow. You get it."

"Why?" I ask, why would they keep growing? Surely he's been standing too close to the microwave or he was dropped on his head as a child?

"It's almost impossible to know why brain tumors occur. In some cases patients who are exposed to ionizing radiation sometimes have an greater risk of a brain tumor, such as meningioma or glioma. And in very rare cases they can run in families."

"No one really knows the reason for mine," Naruto pipes up for the first time. I nod, sinking into my thoughts. Well, brain tumors. That really does make sense. He told me how he understood what I was feeling, and he really did. And that also explains as to why he's lost his hair.

"Thank you, both of you, for telling me," I say genuinely.

"You're welcome. But now we have to arrange a couple of things so your relationship works," She says slyly, giving us a knowing smirk. My cheeks tinge with pink and Naruto starts to complain.

"Granny you don't know what our relationship is! Stop pretending like you d-"

"I was talking about a platonic friendship," She interrupts him and his pointed finger drops, "What are _you _talking about?"

"N-nothing," He smiles embarrassedly and waves his hands in front of his face. I cross my arms in a huff.

"Nothing, huh?" I ask, closing my eyes and pulling my mouth into a fake smile.

"I'm just kidding! Sakura-chan!" He panics as I turn away from him, nose held in the air. "Don't be mad!"

I'm not really mad, I don't think I really can be at a time like this. Really, I'm just teasing him. I finally know what's going on with Naruto, and I will not let it get in the way of our relationship!

"Anyway Sakura," Tsunade says sharply, making me pay attention and uncross my arms, "You'll have to sign Naruto out now like every other patient. You'll have to inform us where you're going, when you've left, and when you'll be back."

I don't like this, and I know for a fact that Naruto doesn't either, but I don't say anything. We're just lucky to not be in more trouble. It may be a pain, but it's necessary if we want to hang out.

"Okay." I nod.

"And no more of this sneaking out, and I'll be making sure personally that you take your medicine" She snaps, glaring at my yellow haired companion. She pulls some files out of her drawer and flips through them, bringing out a sheet of paper and looking it over, almost like dismissing us. Naruto crosses his arms behind his head and barks out a laugh.

"Ne, ne. You worry too much, Granny," He says, dismissing her. I see the grip on her pen tighten as her eyebrow twitches.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Tsunade-sama," I cry and stand up when I see the angry spark in her eyes. It has the desired effect and she blinks up at me, surprised. I bow and pull Naruto out of his chair and out the door by his ear.

"I promise we'll behave!" I call, ignoring Naruto's yelps of pain. I shut the door behind me and throw Naruto forward, angry with him for not being more cautious. We got out of that really lucky with still being able to spend time together and then he goes and says something cocky and reckless? For such an insightful guy he can really be an idiot sometimes.

I watch as he tumbles right into Sai. He crashes into the pale boy and they fall- almost in slow motion- right onto the ground. Temari bursts out laughing and Gaara smiles amusedly next to them. I wave, having not seen them before.

Naruto pushes himself up onto his hands, scowling and unknowingly trapping Sai beneath him. "Naruto, I didn't know you were a homosexual," Sai comments and Naruto looks at their tangled limbs and screams in horror. He flings himself backward and away from Sai's proximity.

"I-I'm not!"

"You don't need to be ashamed of it," I say, giggling.

"Yeah, Naruto, just embrace it!" Temari adds.

"We'll love you just the same," Gaara says and leans down to offer him a hand.

"I'm not gay!" He cries indignantly, glaring at all of us.

"Uh-_huh_," I tease and put my hands on my hips. Gaara pulls Naruto up and Temari nudges me.

"Let's leave the three of them alone," She stage-whispers and I give her a wide-eyed look, but nod in agreement. We walk away and hear a chorus of angry "Hey!"s coming from the two teens.

"What do they mean, 'leave us alone'?" Sai asks and I hear a foot connect to his side.

. . .

I, once again, find myself sitting in the school parking lot, forehead on my steering wheel, too terrified to get out. I groan and squeeze my eyes shut. Why do I always do this? It's just school, I've been doing it my whole life. It shouldn't be this hard to just walk out into the damn building.

I pull out my phone and unlock it, scrolling through my contacts until I find the name I'm looking for. I hit "Call" and press the phone to my ear.

"Well, you exist finally?" Ino's voice comes through after a couple of rings.

"Yes," Is all I say.

"Are you calling to tell me you've dropped out?" She asks in a harsh tone. I don't really blame her, since I really haven't been a good friend these past few days.

"No," I say thickly, trying not to cry, "I'm out in the parking lot, too afraid to go inside."

She's silent for a bit but finally comes back, "Oh my gosh, Forehead! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just did."

"Never mind that, I'll be right there. Don't move," She orders and I say nothing in response.

I hope kids passing by don't look in, they'll surely think I've died from a heart attack. My door opens a minute later, letting in the crisp morning air. It's so clean I want to choke.

"Come on, Sakura. Time to go," Ino says and slaps me on the back. I jerk up, hissing in pain and glaring at my blonde friend. She looks at me innocently and smiles. "Up and at 'em!"

I slowly grab my backpack and in a snail-like fashion I pull myself out of my car. Ino taps her foot against the ground impatiently.

"Okay, okay. Now let's get to class," I say and she nods happily, but stops when her eyes sweep over my hat.

"What's with the hat?" She asks, bringing up a hand to finger the spring green knit beret.

"I'm going bald," I state blandly, she winces and drops her hand. "You know, that's kind of what happens when you're diagnosed with cancer and you get treated."

"I'm sorry," She apologizes and I just shake my head in dismissal. We make our way to the school, silence stretching out between us. The sounds of laughing, talking teens, scolding teachers and music blaring from cars encases me and I smile, having missed this atmosphere.

"Look, that's not the only thing I'm sorry about..." She starts and looks up at the sky, "I wasn't being a good friend. I didn't see what you were going through, I was just angry that you weren't letting me go through it with you."

I gape at her in surprise, she closes her eyes and opens them back up to look over at me,

"You take all of the time you need, and when you want me around, just give me a call."

"No, Ino," I shake my head, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to drag anyone into this whole cancer thing, but now I see that excluding them is what's hurting them." We stop before we get into the school, just looking at eachother.

"So," She glances toward the double doors, "Does this mean you're going to tell people?"

"I'll probably panic and puke half way through telling them, but yes."

"Don't worry, I'll be there to hold your hair," She teases and we both laugh. It feels good to no longer be "Sakura: The girl with no friends".

* * *

_Hey guys. So now we know what's wrong with Naruto, sorry if it was kind of anti-climatic. Also, I am in no way an expert when it comes to cancer, leukemia, chemotherapy or brain tumors, so if you're reading this and I have gotten something wrong (which I'm sure I have) I want to apologize. I do my research but there are just some things someone who has never experienced it can ever fully understand. _

_So please do not be offended if I get something inaccurate. Also, with this brain tumor thing, it might not be logical or accurate where I'm going with this but this is an alternate universe and idk bro. I'm not a doctor, I'm just writing what I think sounds believable. _

_Also, not many of you know this but I have an editor named Thomas who I know in real life and is a beautiful amazing editor. But sometimes he's a big fat BUTT. I asked him to say something to you guys and this is all he said:_

"_Why are you reading this don't you know it's written by a GINGER?"_

_Thanks Thomas. Thank you SO much. Anyway, sorry for the long authors note. I'll let you go now. Or WILL I? I will. Also I've decided to stop telling you to review. I live in America and in 'MURICA we do what we want._

_But, again, reviews are appreciated._


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey readers. Sorry for the long wait. This chapter kind of sucks, I don't know what's going on with me lately. I think it's writers block or something. I'm still pushing through though. It's better to push through and just write **something** than sit there and sulk._

_OH! Hang on a second, go to my profile and vote on my poll: Who should Ino end up with? Because I honestly can't decide. Your input would really help._

* * *

Besides all of the strange looks I've been getting from countless classmates and the whispers that follow me down the hall, my first day back has been pretty good. But I've never had trouble focusing in my classes until now; it's difficult when everyone's gawking at you.

I really don't blame them though: Sakura Haruno, the popular girl, disappears for a week and comes back looking like hell with her hair chopped off. I'd be shocked too. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and see my reflection and I almost pee myself. I honestly can't believe that I'm that pale girl in the reflection who looks like a crack addict. I find myself constantly on the lookout for Karin and her gang, the last thing I need right now is a confrontation with her.

I run into friends several times in the halls and in class. It's almost always the same conversation, too. I plaster a fake smile on my face and recite the same thing.

"Sakura, you're back!"

_Blah blah blah, I've been feeling under the weather, blaaaah blah blah._

"And your hair! It's short!"

_I needed a change. Yadda yadda._

"Are you sure you're okay? You look sick."

"I'm sure, thanks for your concern, but I'm okay," I tell Tenten and she stares at me, eyes narrowed and lips pouting. She smiles and shrugs and I make my way over to my seat at the back of the classroom, breathing a sigh of relief that she didn't question me.

Okay, so maybe I promised myself I was going to tell them, and I will! But when I tell them, I want us all to be together in one place. That way I can answer all questions once. I asked Principal Gai to lend us one of the school's conference rooms during 5th period. I also asked him if he could call us all down and excuse of from our 5th periods. Of course he said yes, and he then decided to smother me in an unconventional hug, exclaiming how glad he was that I was back. I think he also said something about how the evil grip of cancer could not put out my youthful flame? I don't know, he's a nut.

It's 3rd period now, so I've got two to go until I have to tell everyone. My heart leaps inside my chest as I take notes from the overhead. My grip on my pencil is sweaty and I have to wipe my hands on my jeans several times. This is going to be really difficult, but I have to do it. I can't keep my friends in the dark forever.

I mean, if I don't do it soon my bald head will do all of the explaining for me.

"You're shedding," I hear a quiet voice behind me and I turn my head to see Neji picking a pink hair off of my jacket. I laugh and try to wave it away.

"I always shed, it's pretty annoying," I lie and turn back around, my nose practically pressed to my notes. Oh shit, I forgot about Neji and his super deductive reasoning skills. I can feel his gaze burn the back of my head and I sigh. I can't lie to him, but I refuse to tell him now. He'll just have to wait.

He almost reminds me of a super hero, Super Deductive Reasoning Man: He can burn holes right through your head with his eyes! You don't stand a chance, evil-doers and liars!

We're given our pre-lab and told to answer the questions before we start the experiment. I flip open my chemistry book to the page directed and I stare blankly at the page, pencil ready. _I- I don't understand any of these questions. _It looks like we've delved into some new material since I left and I feel the foreign concepts glare at me on the page.

I've never not known what to do in this class and it shakes me. I want to ask for help, but it looks like Mrs. Kurenai is busy helping another student. I try to decipher the topics by searching the chapter and scouring the text.

"Do you need help?" Neji asks beside me, already sitting down in the empty seat next to mine. I blink in surprise but nod.

"Please," I say.

"Alright, so here are the notes we started," He tells me and pulls out a stack of paper. I'm so thankful I could cry.

"Thank you, Neji."

. . .

I walk into fourth period late, apologizing and breathing heavily since I had run to get there. I had to stay in the bathroom, hunched over a toilet as a wave of nausea passed. But it's not Iruka-sensei that stands at the front of the classroom, like I expect. It's an old lady with a pinched face, hunching over the attendance.

"You're late, young lady," She snaps and I flinch. She must be a substitute.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I apologize and bow, hoping she doesn't yell at me. Karin and her friends are in this class and I don't want to be harassed endlessly about it.

"What's your name?" She asks sharply and I stand up straight, trying to keep calm. What if she calls my mom or something? Wait, that's stupid. All she's going to do is mark my name off as late.

"Sakura Haruno."

"Alright, now that you're done interrupting the class, you may sit down," She tells me and I start to make my way over to my seat when she stops me. "And take off that hat, you know school policy." At this I feel an ice cold fist grip my heart. The class stares at me, confused as to why I'm not just doing what she says.

But I can't take off my hat! Everyone will see that I'm losing my hair.

"Did you hear me?" The substitute asks and I slowly turn back around to her. My feet turn cold and my hands start to sweat.

"I-I can't," I say quietly. She sets her clipboard down and I will her to understand or give me a break.

"What do you mean you can't?" She huffs. The whole room looks between her and I, tension rising.

"Please don't make me," I whisper and she slaps her hand down onto Iruka's desk. The whole class jumps at the loud noise.

"That is enough of this, if you don't take it off I'm calling administration," She tells me and points to the phone for emphasis. My fists clench and I glare at the floor. I can't believe this is happening, no other teachers care. But then again all of the other teachers know about my condition.

A shaky hand reaches slowly up to pull my cap off, tears blurring my view of the floor.

"Wait!" A voice stops me and I look up to find Karin looking desperately at me. I feel confusion sweep over me, what is she doing?

"Young la-" The substitute starts but is interrupted.

"You shut your wrinkly old mouth, hag!" She shouts. The class gasps and the old lady almost falls over. I stare at Karin, surprised.

"Karin, what are you doing?" Her friend, Yokoi hisses.

"She doesn't have to take off her hat," She says boldly and I gape at her. Is she... defending me? "This is the 21'st century. I'm sure when you grew up 200 years ago things were different," Karin continues and the class laughs. A boy in the back whoops and the flustered old woman shakes her head as her mouth hangs open, full of unspoken lectures.

"She has cancer! She's going bald! So why don't you just give her a break?" She shouts and the class goes eerily silent. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Karin meets my eyes, determined on shocked. How does she know? How long has she known? The class breaks out into whispers and I feel the world tilt underneath me. I grip my desk for support and I breath deeply.

"You two girls! Office now," The substitue screeches but no one is listening.

My panic attack is in full swing when I hear a deep voice say my name. "Sakura," Sasuke, who's sitting in the front row says, "It's okay," He stands up and makes his way over to me.

No no no no_ no_. This isn't supposed to be how people find out. Tears burn a path down my cheeks and I back away from Sasuke. My eyes search the class and they look back at me with pity. I don't understand how Karin could have found out, or why she didn't tell anyone before now. But now it's pretty guaranteed that the whole school will know before the day is out.

I don't answer him, instead I find myself running out of the classroom and into the desolate hallway. My sandals slap against the tiled floor and echo down the corridor.

. . .

The class erupts into excited and confused conversation as the door shuts behind Sakura. Karin stares at the door, suddenly feeling guilty. Does this mean that Sakura hadn't told anyone? Did she just give away her secret?

"What the hell, Karin?" Yokoi snaps and Karin looks down at her, dumb-stricken. "How did you know?"

"I-" Karin starts to explain but an infuriated Sasuke approaches her.

"Why did you tell everyone?" He asks, eyes slitting and voice like venom. She shrinks away from him and down into her seat, the fire of her confidence doused.

"We all know you've never liked her, but not even I thought you were this terrible," He spits, "Even when she's really sick you find a way to hurt her."

"No! That's not what I meant to do!" Karin cries, wringing her hands. She can't believe this is happening, she was only trying to help her! Now the love of her life hates her.

"Class!" The substitute tries to shout over the noisy students, but is ineffective. Sasuke glares at Karin and she looks at him with a devastated look in her eye.

"Damnit," He curses and grabs his bag. He's out the door before anyone can stop him.

. . .

I dial Naruto's number, trying to get him to pick up for the fifth time. Tears still stream down my cheeks and all I want is to hear a reassuring voice.

"Naruto! Pick up!" I choke out when his phone once again goes to voicemail.

"Sakura?" I hear a deep voice echo inside the bathroom and I look up in surprise. "Are you in there?"

"Y-yes," I call and use some toilet paper to wipe my eyes and nose. Sasuke is the last person I would expect to come to my rescue.

"Come out, we should talk," He says and I debate it. The last time I talked to him he tried to practically molest me. As if reading my thoughts he continues, "I won't try anything, I promise."

I wordlessly leave the safety of my stall and splash some water on my face. I open the door and the sight of a concerned Sasuke greets me.

"What do you want?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"I'm just checking to make sure you're okay," He tells me.

"Well, I'm fine," I say and he rolls his eyes.

"No, you're obviously crying in a stall, so you're not fine."

"Everyone knows now," I sigh after a stubborn silence, leaning against the doorway.

"Weren't you going to tell everyone anyway?"

"Well, yes." I admit, "But I wanted it to happen my way. I wanted people to see that I was strong and that I can handle things maturely."

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke asks and puts his hands on my shoulders, the contact surprises me and I look up at him with wide eyes. "You're handling this better than any of us could, and no one's going to think you're weak."

"Yeah, but I've kept it a se-"

"Only because you weren't ready. You don't give our friends enough credit. Sure, people in the school will spread rumors and say things, but they don't matter. They never have," He says and I'm back to freshman year with Sasuke as my boyfriend. I was young, pink and innocent. He was stoic, cold, and uncaring most of the time.

And yet when he did care it was all worth it. His stony facade would melt away to reveal a tender and caring Sasuke. I haven't seen that Sasuke again until now. I smile at him and he drops his hands and I see the shadow of a smile on his lips. It's almost like we're okay again.

"Let's go," I say after a moment of silence. We walk side by side down the hallway, making our way to the office.

. . .

Ino, Sasuke and I watch from Principal Gai's one-sided window as our friends shuffle into the office and make their way into the conference room. My heart is in my throat and I feel like I could float away any second. Some of them have concerned looks on their faces as they talk to each other, obviously hearing the rumor of my cancer. But some like Kiba and Tenten look just happy to be getting out of class.

"Ready?" Ino asks, placing a hand on my shoulder softly. I take a deep breath as the door to the conference room shuts, they're all in there. No way to turn back now.

"Yeah."

I lead the way and they follow me into the conference room. The hushed chatting stops as three of us open the door and enter. They all lounge on the rolly chairs that surround a long, official looking table. I see Hinata give me a shy, reassuring smile and I smile back. I need to thank her later for being able to keep my secret for so long. That must have been difficult, especially with a super hero cousin like Neji.

"What's going on?" Kiba asks, "Not that I'm complaining or anything." He grins and bumps fists with Chouji.

"Why have you have gathered us here today, Sakura-san?" Lee asks me and I take my place at the far end of the table.

"Is this about the rumors?" Neji asks, and those around him look at him.

"Rumors?" Chouji pipes up.

"Oh yeah, there's word going around that you have cancer. I even heard it from a very reliable source," Shino muses and looks pointedly at me.

"Cancer!"

"I did hear that... What's happening?" I flinch and Sasuke holds his hands up for people to be quiet as exclamations echo around the room.

"I've been gone for almost a week, as you know. Ten days ago I was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia," I say it slowly and make eye-contact with each of them. I hope I sound sure and confident because I honestly feel like I can pass out from nerves. "So, yes. The rumors are true."

"What?" Tenten asks, devastated, "But you told me this morning that you were okay!"

"Me too!"

"I knew that it was too good to be excused from chemistry," Shikamaru drawls and crosses his arms.

"Look," Ino says, cutting through the increasing rumbling of voices, "Sakura had to lie to you so you could learn the truth now and you'd be able to ask all of the questions you'd want."

"S-Sakura-san! Why didn't you tell us until now?" Lee asks, tears gathering in his eyes. I feel panic wash over me at the idea of him crying.

"I'm sorry, but I could barely accept it myself!" I say. I knew he was overly-emotional but I didn't think he would actually cry. "I needed to come to terms with it before I told anyone."

"But you told Hinata," Neji says and looks pointedly at her. It wasn't a question. She fidgets and looks at me for help.

"Yes, but I couldn't lie to her," I say honestly, remembering how terrible I felt for lying straight to her face.

"But you can lie to the rest of us," Neji states and I look down at my sandals, guilty.

"Stop it," Sasuke tells him, "She made the decision to keep it on the down low so people would treat her the same." I jerk my head up, shocked that he remembered me telling him that.

"And what you're doing right now is the exact opposite of what she wants," Ino adds, glaring at all of them.

"No," I say, looking at her and Sasuke, "I want them to ask questions, and that's what they're doing."

"So, are you dropping out of the race for Prom Queen?" Shino asks and Rock Lee nods furiously next to him. I look at them sadly, they've both worked so hard so that I could win.

"Yes," I admit.

"What?" Tenten squeaks, she had helped me pass out flyers for two lunch periods.

"All of that work for nothing," Shikamaru tsks.

"But Sakura-chan! It's been your dream since kindergarten," Chouji cries.

I look between all of my complaining friends and sigh, "I know, I know."

"Why are you giving up so easily?" Shino asks and I flumble, looking to Sasuke and Ino for help.

"Sorry, Sakura, but we agree. We think you should still go for it," She says, shaking her head. I throw my hands up in frustration at my optimistic friends.

"You can't have a bald Prom Queen!"

"Who says?" Ino asks.

"I do!"

"Why?" Sasuke presses.

"Because the Prom Queen has to be beautiful!" I cry and the room falls silent. I breathe heavily and glare at the ceiling. I wanted to do this maturely and calmly and now I'm throwing a fit like a brat.

"You'll always be beautiful, Sakura-san!" Rock Lee says and gives me a thumbs up. Well, of course he would say that.

"It's true, just because you won't have hair that doesn't mean you'll be ugly!" Someone else chimes in.

"It _is_ true..." Shikamaru mutters.

"S-sakura you're way too pretty of a person to be ugly," Hinata stutters and I look down at my friends and over at my two best friends. Sasuke nods, a real smile on his lips.

"You can do this," Ino says quietly and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. I had thought it shallow and stupid to do something like run for Prom Queen while I'm sick, but living my life to the fullest means living it like I never got sick.

"Okay, I'll run." My decision causes the room to erupt into cheers. Ino tackles me from behind and I laugh and stumble forward. Rock Lee, excited at the idea of a hug jumps up and joins.

"Aw yeah, a group hug!" Kiba laughs and the rest of my friends get up and join us. I don't know when I start crying, but Ino wipes my cheek and the kind gesture just makes me burst out into more tears of joy.

"Sasuke, Neji. Get in here!" Tenten calls, looking over at the stubborn boys who stand away from the group.

"No, thanks," Neji says and Sasuke crosses his arms. I raise an eyebrow and I look at Ino.

"I guess we'll just have to bring the group hug," She says and looks at them, smiling, "To you."

"No," Neji backs away.

"Don't even think about it," Sasuke narrows his eyes.

It's too late, we charge them, laughing and shouting. Soon we're surrounding the two struggling teenagers that are trying to keep up their cool guy facade up. I find my arms wrapped around Sasuke's middle, face buried into his chest. I hold him tight like those around are holding me.

"Thank you," I say and I mean it. He might be an asshole most of the time and he sure as hell wasn't a good boyfriend, but he can really be a good friend. "Thank you all."

I really couldn't ask for better friends.

* * *

_A lot of things have happened that have forced me to push this chapter back a couple of days. The theater shooting was actually in my town and the same movie theater is actually a couple of miles away from my house, so that really shook me up. It could have been me and my family caught in that, you know? So that really made me think and it still is. It kind of helped me post this chapter though, in a small way it's like, "OMG what if I had died and then my readers would have never found out what happens in my stories!"_

_It was also my 17th birthday on the 17th and my sister's baby is expected soon. So yeah, things have been hectic. _

_On a lighter note I've started a new fic! It's called The Senshi Games, it's a Naruto and Hunger Games crossover. I've seen a couple floating around but none of them have ever been good, so I've decided to try. If you like the Hunger Games you should go check it out._

_Thank you for putting up with me and the long wait, sorry if this chapter isn't what you expected. It sure as hell isn't what I expected. Like always review and let me know what you're thinking!_


	14. Chapter 14

I'm sitting on my bed, trying not to fall asleep and catching up on my alarmingly large pile of homework when Naruto calls. I rub my eyes and answer.

"Hello?"

"Sakura-chan! I'm _so_ sorry I missed your call. Er- well your calls," Naruto says and laughs, embarrassed. I remember that I had called him almost a dozen times, each time it went to his dorky voicemail I felt my panic rise higher and higher. It's sad to say, but if Sasuke hadn't have been there I would have ended up in a lot worse shape than I was.

"It's okay," I say, looking down at the outline I have going, which right now wouldn't even receive a B. I only missed a week but it seems I'm pretty rusty when it comes to homework.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He asks and I set my pencil down, giving my aching hand a chance to rest.

"Well, this girl Karin told everyone that I had cancer," I say, thinking back to the earlier events of the day. I would be more upset if I weren't so tired and drained; I really don't have it in me right now to be angry or sad. And of course, the news spread like wildfire, and at the end of the day there wasn't a kid in the school who I hadn't received a pitiful look from.

"What?! That's really messed up," Naruto says, "Did you beat her up?" I give a little laugh and shake my head, are boys always so physical when it comes to confrontations?

"No, no. Actually she didn't mean it in a bad way," I say, crinkling my eyebrows, "In fact, she was standing up for me."

"What? Wait, am I missing something?"

"Well, we had this really grumpy old lady as a substitute teacher and she told me to take off my hat, since it's school policy. I refused and she was about to call administration when Karin stood up for me." I remember how confused I was that my long time rival was coming to my rescue, "She basically told the substitute to give me a break since I'm going bald because of my leukemia."

Naruto gasps, "What did you do?"

"I ran away to the bathroom and tried to call you several times," I say, trying to disguise my disappointment that he didn't pick up. For a long time I was worried that he ignored my calls on purpose but I had to remind myself that this is Naruto, not Sasuke. I felt better after that and I was sure that he had missed them on accident.

"Sakura-chan..." He starts apologizing but I interrupt him.

"Don't worry about it, everything turned out okay."

"What happened?"

"My friend Sasuke helped me," I say slowly, testing the waters. I've never told Naruto about Sasuke, and I don't know how he'll react.

"Well, that's good," Naruto comments, but still sounds guilty. I breathe a sigh of relief at his reaction, at least he's not a jealous guy.

"What were you doing?" I ask, not trying to sound like a prying girlfriend, "I mean, you weren't dying or anything, right?"

At this Naruto lets out a laugh and I do too, his laugh is contagious. Really, everything about him is contagious. "No, I wasn't dying. I just forgot where I put this damn contraption." He morphs his voice into an old man's at the last few words.

"These damn glowing contraptions, always getting lost!" I squeak in my best old lady voice.

"And those damn kids always on my lawn!"

"And being loud on the train!"

"Whipper snappers these days don't have respect for their elders," He croaks and I can almost see him shaking his fist in the air. We burst out laughing and after we quiet down into a comfortable silence; it's a nice thing, to be on the phone with someone and not feeling pressured to constantly keep the conversation going. I stare at my bed covers and smile thoughtfully.

"I wish you could have come with me today," I say quietly and my smile fades, "It would have been so much easier to deal with all of it."

"I wish I could have, too," Naruto sighs but perks up, "But hey! When can you come visit me again?"

"I don't know," I say, thinking of all of my classes and my neglected homework. "I can probably come before school tomorrow." That's the least busy time I can think of in my schedule.

"But, don't you have to like, wake up early?" Naruto asks, sounding pretty offended.

"Yeah, but it's not that bad. I can come around 6:30?" I shrug off his distaste in waking up early. I roll my eyes, lazy homeschooled boy. Or is that hospital-schooled? Is that a thing?

"But-" He starts but stops and sighs in defeat, "Okay. I'll get Sai to drag me off my bed, since he always wakes up early."

"Why does _he_ have to wake up early?" I can't imagine someone like Sai going to school or having a job, so I'm curious.

"He always talks about how it's the best time to paint or some artsy, poetic thing."

"Ah," I nod, "See you then?"

"Yeah!" Naruto exclaims and I hear the excitement in his voice. We say goodbye and I'm about to hang up when I hear his voice come through again.

"What?" I ask, having not heard what he had said.

"Is this Sasuke guy taller than me?" He asks and I grin.

"Go to bed, Naruto."

. . .

"Hi, Mom," I greet the next morning and bounce over to kiss her on the cheek. She smiles at me and notes my glowing mood.

"Wow, someone's happy. What's going on?" She asks, looking up from her desktop and setting her mug of coffee down.

"Can't a girl just be happy for being able to go to school without puking?" I ask, not helping my case at all.

"There's something more. Spill it." She stands up and follows me into the kitchen.

"I'm going to see Naruto this morning," I say distractedly and grab a shiny, red apple from the fridge.

"That boy in the hospital?" She asks, frowning. I roll my eyes and stuff the fruit in my bag.

"Mom, he's a good kid," I say, not wanting to hear anything bad about him.

"Yes, but I don't want you to skip classes for some-"

"Mom! I'm seeing him _before_ school." I grab my keys from the counter, feeling the need to escape before she says anything else that might make me yell at her. We've been on good terms since she woke up- probably since neither of us wants to push the other too hard- and I don't want to end this record with a fight.

"Bye!" I call and slip on my sandals, flinging open the door.

"Make sure if you feel sick at all that you call me or go to the nurse's office," She calls before I shut the door. The morning air greets me and I feel the best I have in a while. I can honestly say that the effects of chemo have completely worn off, which as good as it feels, I also have this sense of doom hanging over me. Soon I'll have to go for my next session and I'll have to go through it all over again.

I push those dreadful thoughts down and unlock my bug and get in. I plug in my dusty ipod and listen to music for what feels like the first time in years.

…

"Eh? Sakura-chan!" Naruto calls and hops off of the Konoha Medical Center sign after seeing me get out of my car.

"Good morning, Ugly," Sai says and I try my best not to slam his face into the concrete sign as I approach them.

"Sai!" Naruto growls but I just decide to ignore the offending, pale teen.

"So you managed to wake up!" I praise him and nod my head, impressed. Naruto laughs and scratches the back of his head.

"Yeah, but it took a couple of minutes of Sai trying to wake me up," He says.

"It was quite annoying, and did you know Naruto-kun talks in his sleep?" Sai leans in to whisper this, but I honestly feel like he didn't try to whisper at all. It was like a stage-whisper.

"He does!" I laugh, amused. Naruto looks between us, panic evident on his features.

"That's right, and he talks a lot about you-" Sai starts to muse but Naruto traps him in a chokehold.

"Sai! You jerk!" They almost look like brothers fighting, if it weren't for the strikingly different appearances of them both.

"He almost kissed me when he thought I was you!" Sai manages to choke out and I feel my face warm.

"Hey!" A voice barks and Naruto immediately releases Sai, who winces and starts rubbing his neck.

"Oh, hey granny! Didn't see you there!" Naruto says and laughs nervously as Dr. Tsunade approaches. She raises an eyebrow but lets their little tussle go.

"Sakura," She greets and I bow respectively, still remembering how angry she was at us when learning of Naruto's sneaking out. Surely that's not what she thinks is happening now! We all stand tense, as if ready to run at any second. Except running is futile, I'm sure that the Doctor could catch up to us and smash us into the ground in no time.

"Relax," She tells all three of us, as if reading our minds. "I'm not here to bust you or anything," She says and I blink in confusion, "I was wondering if you would be willing to let Naruto and Sai go to school with you this morning."

I gape at her for a few moments and stumble over my words, "O-of course! I wouldn't mind at all!"

"Granny?" Naruto asks in surprise and even Sai looks a little taken-back.

"I've decided that I've kept you two holed up in here for far too long," She tells the two of them and they look at each other in surprise, "It's time you see what life outside of the hospital is like."

"Are you sure, Tsunade-sama?" Sai asks, blinking in confusion.

"_Yes_, I'm sure," She snaps, but softens, "You better get going soon, or you'll be late." She checks the time on her watch and Naruto and I look at eachother, excitement rearing up in both of us.

"No way! Sakura-chan! I can go with you!" He cries and bends down, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up in a hug. I laugh as he twirls me and my own hands seek support on his shoulders. He sets me down, both of us dizzy and smiling like idiots.

Someone clears their throat and we both remember we're not alone, we jump apart and blush. Tsunade grins at both of us slyly and Sai cocks his head to the side and blinks, as if he had just seen some ancient dance instead of a simple hug.

"Okay, we should get going," I say awkwardly and motion for the two boys to follow me. I'm still breathless from the close contact between Naruto and I as I start my car and drive carefully out of the parking lot.

"So is school really different from what I remember it as?" Naruto asks in the seat next to me, looking out the window.

"What grade did you stop going to school?" I ask, checking my mirror to switch lanes.

"7th grade," He tells me and my eyebrows raise in surprise. I knew that he's been sick for a long time but I didn't really consider him missing five years of public school.

"Well, this is highschool, so I'm sure it's different in a lot of ways. And I know you didn't live here when you did go to school, so people might act different," I say, thinking of the rowdy students that walk KHS's hallways. "I'm sure you'll fit in fine," I add as an afterthought.

"I'm excited!" Naruto exclaims and grins. I peek at Sai in my rearview mirror, his eyebrows are furrowed and a frown pulls at his lips.

"What's wrong, Sai?" I ask, surprised that I'm even concerned. He looks up in surprise, his thoughts growing smaller in his eyes.

"Nothing," He says in a nonchalant fashion and smiles, his mask placed back on. I look at Naruto, a thinning eyebrow raised and he shrugs. He gives me a look that says, 'I don't even know.'

I wonder what could be troubling Sai, but I don't voice my concerns.

. . .

"Eh!?" Ino scoffs, sizing Naruto up, "I had no idea you were actually going to bring him to school!" Naruto shifts uncomfortably under her scrutinizing gaze and I don't blame him. Those blue eyes could cut through glass.

We stand in the hallway, near our lockers. My friends are all there, looking at Sai and Naruto in surprise and mild scepticism. They obviously weren't expecting me to bring two complete strangers from the hospital.

Sasuke doesn't look our way at all, he just loads up his backpack and slams his locker door shut. We all flinch and look toward him, watching his back as he walks away from all of us. Ino rolls her eyes.

"He's always such a drama queen," She tells me, laughing half-heartedly.

"Yeah," I say meekly, also watching my brooding friend leave.

"Who was that?" Naruto asks, noticing the fact that we had all turned to watch him go. He peers around me, eyebrows raised.

"That was Sasuke," I tell Naruto, turning my attention back to him.

"Oh!" His eyes light up in recognition and then confusion sweeps through his features, "Why'd he leave right away?"

"He's a brooding asshole, that's why," Kiba says, pushing himself off the lockers and approaching Naruto. Naruto stands up straight as the brunette arrives in front of us. It's funny, they're exactly the same height and have the exact same hairstyle... Even their personalities are similar.

"And you? What's your problem?" Naruto asks, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Kiba Inuzuka. I don't have a problem," Kiba replies, puffing up his chest. Naruto mirrors him and I hold back my laughter. They look like two roosters about to fight.

"Well then why do you look like you have a problem?" Naruto asks, sizing Kiba up. Ino rolls her eyes and shoves Kiba away from Naruto and he stumbles away, calling out in surprise.

"That's just his face," Ino says, throwing a nonchalant arm around Naruto. "So, you're taking my best friend to the prom right?" She asks and I panic.

"Ino!" I squeak and they both turn to look at me, questioningly.

"What? Don't you want a date?" Ino asks, blinking innocently.

"I might not even be going!" I exclaim and my friends groan around me. They obviously don't want to have to deal with this again.

"Yes, you're going," Ino snaps and releases Naruto right as the bell rings, signalling for us to get to class. She glares at me as if to say: 'We're done talking about this.' I breath a sigh of relief as she walks away, grabbing Shikamaru's collar on the way, since he was busy napping against the lockers. How can that boy manage to sleep standing up? I'll never know. I can feel Naruto looking at me and I turn my attention to him and smile tightly.

"Sorry about that," I apologize, "Ino can be a little... pushy."

"Shouldn't we be going to class?" Sai pipes up behind Naruto, I look at the pale boy in surprise. He's been so quiet for the past few minutes I almost forgot he was there.

"Oh, yes," I say, as if just remembering. I pull my backpack on all the way and motion, once again, for the boys to follow me. We enter the flowing sea of kids and the two hospital boys are immediately shoved forward, surprised and offended. Naruto turns around and shoves a pointed finger in the face of the shover, who turns out to be an ox of a boy. The beefy teenager practically growls at Naruto and he slowly lowers his finger, stuttering an apology. I smirk.

It's going to be a long day.

* * *

_How can I even begin to apologize? HOW? It's been so long. This is the longest I've gone without updating a story. I think it's been one month and one week? Oops._

_I'm really really really sorry. My excuse is the same one as last time: I've lost my muse. And I've lost my confidence too. It's really difficult to write and post things online for people to see when you feel like a shitty writer. I'm not saying this for like, attention or sympathy. I'm just letting you know, I want to keep you informed. INFORMED PARTY. But yeah, also sorry about the length **-that's what she said-** of this chapter. _

_So don't hold your breath for the next update. Especially since school has started and the production I'm in is in full swing. _

_As always reviews are like my favorite thing in the whole wide world. UGH UghUghUghuggggh okay. That was me feeling like a crappy writer and taking it out on this letter to you. Good luck with school and stuff everybody! I know I'll need it._


	15. Chapter 15

I wrinkle my nose in distaste as I listen to the conversation of two girls in the bathroom, safely hidden behind a stall door.

"Yeah, I'm surprised she's back to school at all," One says and I grit my teeth. I just want to have a bathroom break without being emotionally distressed. Is that too much to ask?

"Have you seen her hair?" The other asks with disgust. "You could just tell it was blotchy underneath her hat."

"So much for having the most beautiful hair in the school," The first girl replies and I pull up my pants noisily and flush the toilet. They get suddenly quiet; I can tell that they had thought they were alone. I collect myself before I open the stall door, setting my face into a cool expression that I've really only had to break out for Karin and her friends.

"Yeah, so much for that," I say and exit my stall, casually making my way over to the sinks where the two gossips stand, frozen in place. They gape at me, a girl I recognize from my 7th period has her lip gloss wand frozen to her puffy lips. I smile at them and wash my hands, ignoring my reflection. "But who needs hair?" I ask and flick my hands in an attempt to dry them.

"We-"

"You were just commenting on my new style," I interrupt them, my voice like sharp glass. They flinch.

"Yes, but-" The one who I don't recognize starts.

"I take it you don't like it?" I push the button to turn on the hand dryers a little too hard and it rings like a gunshot through the small bathroom. They jump, again.

"We didn't say that," The girl from my 7th period says, sounding desperate.

"You know what I don't like?" I ask sweetly, running my hands under the warm air.

"What?" They both ask cautiously, shrinking away from me.

"Having cancer," I spit and that does it: they look down at their shoes in shame. I don't let myself feel regretful as I push the bathroom door open and leave the two in my wake. A lump forms in my throat as I walk down the hallway, my pulse and emotions running a hundred miles an hour. I shouldn't let what they say get to me, but I can't help it. I know how bad my hair looks. I know.

I just wish I didn't have to be reminded that I'm losing it every second.

I come to a slow stop and lean against the cool wall, breathing deeply. As if to mock me, several strands of my hair fall onto my sweater and I put my hand on my forehead. I thought I was coping well, but really I guess I've just been pushing my hair loss to the back of my mind.

"Sakura-chan," A deep voice says and I look up in surprise to find Principal Gai looking down at me in concern. I fumble for my hall pass and hold it out to him.

"I was just going to the bathroom," I say, avoiding his eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asks, ignoring the pass offered to him.

No. "Yes."

"Okay, but Sakura-chan," He says, holding up a fist, eyes filling with tears, "I just wanted to let you know that I believe in your youthful flame!"

I laugh and shake my head, "I know, I've heard." He only tells me every time he sees me.

"You can never hear it enough." I don't tell him that that's not true, I just let him live in his own little world and I give a half hearted excuse to get back to class.

When I get back, Naruto is waiting for me dutifully in the desk next to mine. With his eagerness and happiness to see me again he reminds me of a golden retriever. Smiling softly with the comparison I look to the desk next to him and I see Sai talking to Ino, and she's... laughing? My eyebrows shoot upward.

And her laugh isn't the whole "_Oh, man. What a funny joke!_" laugh. It's the _"I think you're cute and I want to be with you."_ laugh. I give Naruto a questioning look as I slide into my seat and he rolls his eyes and leans into to whisper in my ear.

"They've been like that ever since you left."

"Gross," I say and peek over at them, a little flabbergasted that Sai hasn't said anything to her to make her hate him. "How did he get so good at flirting?" I hiss after observing them for a few moments, Sai looks completely at ease and he's really laying the compliments on thick.

I catch a whisper of what he's saying: "You shouldn't wear makeup, it's messing with perfection." I bite my lip to keep from laughing and I can't believe that Ino is really eating this stuff up.

"I think they're these books he's been reading," Naruto comments.

"What kind of books?" I ask and he turns suspiciously pink. I groan when I put two and two together, "Why did you let him get a hold of your uncle's books?"

He holds his hands up in surrender, "You know I wouldn't give them to him. I don't know how he got them." Ino giggles loudly and I roll my eyes. Why he would flirt with her and call me ugly is unbeknownst to me.

"Anyway-" He starts but I interrupt him.

"A few books and he's suddenly better at flirting then you?" I ask, my mouth melting into a sly grin.

"_Anyway_," He says again, ready to change the subject quickly and looking a little flustered. "The stuff you're learning is basically the same stuff I'm learning," He says and motions to my open, forgotten math work. I practically whimper when I see how many problems I have left to do. How can I focus on school with these two boys on my leash?

The answer is that I can't; everytime I turn around they're looking into someone's backpack or, in Sai's case, trying to give the teacher a massage. Now with the pale boy (safely?) flirting with Ino and Naruto blabbing away about his homeschooling I decide to take advantage of the moment to finally get some work done.

"That's cool," I say, not really processing his words.

"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei really drives this stuff into my brain," He continues and I stop reading the word problem in my math book and I look up in surprise.

"Kakashi Hatake?" I ask.

"Yeah!" He says, "How'd you know?"

"He's our vice principal!"

Naruto blinks, suddenly confused, "I knew that... I was going to bring it up, but I forgot."

I frown, "Why'd you forget?"

"I-I don't know... My memory's just been a little foggy lately," He tells me, his eyebrows scrunch together and he gets a sort of far away look in his eyes. Dread fills me and the bell rings. The class starts to put their things together and shuffle out of the class. I follow suit, quickly shutting my binder and jamming my books into my bag.

"We should probably get you back to the hospital," I say urgently once I have everything put together.

"What?" Naruto cries, "Why?"

"You're having memory problems! That _can't_ be good," I hiss, eyes sliding over the emptying classroom, the only students sticking behind are Sai and Ino, and they seem wrapped up in flirting.

"So?" He asks, yellow eyebrows narrowing and arms crossing tightly, "Lots of people have memory problems, but when _I _have it I'm dying?"

"_Lots of people_ don't have brain tumors!" I throw my hands up in frustration, my voice rising and practically echoing around the room. Naruto holds my gaze, both of us equally annoyed and angry. Sai and Ino look up in concern.

"What's going on?" Ino asks, walking towards me.

"Nothing," Naruto says through gritted teeth.

"Yes, nothing," I agree, clenching my fists. Sai and Ino look at eachother, Ino in disbelief and Sai in confusion. I heave my backpack up onto my back and walk out of the classroom, leaving them behind me.

. . .

After I've calmed down about my blonde friend I turn to look at him pushing the food around on his tray. He looks eerily similar to how I imagine I looked last week. Our argument comes rushing back to me and I bite my lip. I feel bad, and mostly because he was right. I shouldn't have just assumed that he was having some sort of a... reaction. He trusts me and I shouldn't take that trust for granted.

I nudge him with my elbow and his gaze slides up to meet mine, I mouth the words '_I'm sorry.' _He smiles sadly and mouths back, _'Me too.'_

"I shouldn't have yelled at you," I say quietly, leaning in closely so he can hear me over the chatter of my classmates. When you put several hundred teenagers in a cafeteria there's bound to be some noise. Naruto seems to be struggling with all of the noise, because he squeezes one eye shut tight and a hand flies to his head.

"I- Ow! It's okay, I mean."

"Do you want to go somewhere quiet?" I ask, concerned. He nods and I take him by the hand and lead him from the cafeteria. I feel someone's eyes on me, I look up to immediately regret doing so. Sasuke is watching us with cold, calculated eyes. It takes all of my strength not to look down at my shoes, I keep my chin up and turn my face away from him. I'm not going to let him freak me out.

"What was that guy's problem?" Naruto asks when we escape out into the empty lobby, "Everytime I see him he looks really constipated."

A bubble of laughter escapes me and I wave my hand, "He's possessive. And like Kiba said, he's a brooding asshole." He laughs too but his eyes squint shut in what looks like a sharp stab of pain. Worry sweeps through me.

"Are you okay?" I ask, stopping us in the middle of the lobby, and watching pain pass through his features.

"Yeah, I think it's just lack of sleep," He says and I nod slowly, not really believing him.

"Really, Naruto, are you feeling... right?" I take his hand in my own and look into his eyes. He gives me half a smirk.

"I'm feeling like a person with a headache," He squeezes my hand, "You worry too much, Pinky."

I consider calling bullshit and pushing him back into my car and driving him all the way back to the hospital - but I stop myself, remembering his words. _"I want to go to school! I want to go to the movies, to an amusement park and throw up on a roller coaster! Or if it were just something as simple as going to the park for a half an hour; I don't care, I just want to have some freedom."_

Hauling him back to the place where he's trapped would be terrible, and I don't want to be the person to take away him living part of his dream.

"Okay," I say, unlocking my phone and checking the time, "We have about an hour until class starts again, are you tasting anything besides cafeteria food?"

"Not really, but there is something I need to do," He says, looking down at his shoes, "It's silly, but I do it every year and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me."

"Of course I'll go with you," I say and smile, squeezing his hand.

. . .

"Here it is," He says and I blink, surely I must be seeing wrong, because it looks like he's telling me to pull into a cemetery.

"Are you sure?" I ask, confused.

"Positive," He nods and I shrug and pull into the long driveway. I cruise through the cemetery, flipping off my music. It feels wrong to play it here, with all of these people who can no longer enjoy music. Why does Naruto even want to come here?

"Turn right here," He tells me and I do. It's a beautiful, clear day, and the cemetery would be even more beautiful if it weren't for the idea behind it. It's filled with tall trees that are proudly sporting their autumn coats and the green grass is littered with leaves. Rows upon rows of white, marble stones litter the lawn. Who does Naruto have here that he visits every year?

"Here we are," He tells me and I pull over and park. We both get out of the car and I feel dread fill me. I doubt he would come here every year for his great aunt. He takes my hand in his own and I'm surprised at how cold I am.

The leaves crunch beneath us as we pass headstones. I catch a glimpse of one and a lump forms in my throat, _"Mizuki Yamagata, waiting for her other half." _

"Naruto," I whisper thickly, "Why are we here?" He doesn't answer me, instead he continues to take me further in. We finally stop in front of a headstone and I shiver. Everything is suddenly quiet and Naruto's hand slips from mine. I choke back tears as I read the names on the headstone:

_Kushina Uzumaki & Minato Uzumaki_

_1970-2005 1971-2005_

"_Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing _

_the horizon as the end of the ocean."_

"Hi Mom. Dad," Naruto says and drops to his knees in front of the headstone. "Happy anniversary."

* * *

_Whoo! It's way past my bedtime and I'm just finishing this. I hope you're happy, because I am. My block is finally gone, but it's funny because now I'm swamped with school. I'll never be able to update frequently -shakes fist at the heavens- WHY ME? _

_Anyway, tell me how what you like or hate. Or tell me what you think is going to happen! And please don't hate me, okay?_


	16. Chapter 16

There's a group of kids at my school that dress like life is a perpetual funeral, draped in black clothes and heavy eyeliner. Some people call them "Lost Boy wannabes" and I can't say I blame them; these kids are constantly groaning about how much pain they're in and how much their lives suck. I swear that when I say this, this isn't "popular, stupid Sakura" talking, okay? Those kids are pretty much full of shit.

One time I saw a member of the "Lost Boys" shuffle out of the school and climb into his parent's gleaming Mercedes Benz, they had come to pick him up and as they got out of the car to greet him he slammed the door. They seemed happy to see him, even if he was acting like a spoiled brat. My mom probably would have dragged me out of the car by my hair- okay, maybe not anymore, but she _would have_ back then- to teach me a lesson. Even after he ignored their greeting they still were in a good mood, ready to take him home.

There are people like that, and then there are the people like Naruto.

I watch as he brushes his hand over the top of the gravestone, murmuring to his parents that are seven feet below us. His shoulders are sagged and I can't help but feel like the weight of the world is on them.

His parents are gone. Dead. They've been gone for six years. I wouldn't have a clue by how he acts. His bright blue eyes are so bright I haven't been able to see any pain, and his positive outlook on life- frustrating at times- hints to no past pain.

But this pain, what he's feeling, nothing I have ever felt in the world could compare to this. I watch as his shoulders start to shake. Tears run down my cheeks and I drop to my knees next to him. I brush them away and tilt my head to look at him.

Even though glistening drops of tears fall down to the grass, he's not frowning. He's smiling.

"…Naruto?" I ask cautiously. He shakes his head.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this," He laughs a broken laugh, "But I just miss them so much."

"No," I say immediately and take his hands in my own, "Don't apologize. You never need to apologize for this."

"I'm so sad, but at the same time," He looks up at me, still smiling, "I'm happy."

I laugh a little, confused, "You're happy?"

"This is the first time someone has ever visited them with me, and I just can't help but be happy that I knew them at all. They were so great, Sakura." He looks to their names etched into the marble. "So great," He repeats quieter this time.

"Oh, Naruto," I whisper and drape an arm over his back, he rests his head on my shoulder and I press my cheek against his forehead. We sit like that for a long time, neither of us saying anything. A cold wind blows through the cemetery and I shiver. He must have felt it because he gently unwraps himself from me and stands up, brushing off his pants.

"We should go," He says, "You're probably going to be late."

I shake my head and smile sadly as he helps me up. "I don't want to go back now."

"We should," He tells me, a concerned look in his eyes.

"I need to do something before we go back to school."

. . .

"Sakura! So good to see you!" Karui calls and I wave sheepishly, surprised that the loud woman remembers my name. "OMOI!" She screeches, making Naruto and I flinch.

"What?" He calls lazily from the back room.

"There's someone here to see you!" She yells back as soon as the phone starts ringing. She picks it up, chomping her gum and motioning towards the break room, giving us permission. Naruto gives me a silent nod to go ahead alone and finds a seat in the waiting area.

"Tell them to come back in ten minutes, I'm on my break!" The voice calls again, moments before I'm standing in the break room doorway, hand resting on the wooden frame. My hairdresser is lounging on a couch, reading a novel and drinking from a steaming mug. I smile, having missed him... Even though I had only met him once before.

"Hi," I say, breaking the silence and causing him to look up from his book, eyes wide.

"Oh! It's you, Sakura! She didn't say it was _you_," He stands up to meet me and I bow formally to him.

"It would be an honor if you would finish what you started with this mess," I say and blow upward, causing my thinned, pink bangs to dance. As if to show him how much of a train wreck it's becoming, I gently run my hand through my hair and pull away a clump of strands that stick to my fingers.

Omoi's eyes soften and he nods, understanding. "You want it gone?"

"It's probably better to do it and now and do it cleanly, rather than risking an extremely clogged shower drain," I say, a smirk tugging at my lips. He nods and leads me out of the room and into the almost-empty salon. A mom is getting her hair dyed as her kids, no older than six, are playing in the waiting area. Music plays softly and he leads me into a soft, cushy chair.

He wraps that strange poncho thing that they use to keep from hair getting on your clothes around me. He hesitates before reaching for his electric shaver.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks, making eye contact with me in the mirror. I look over at Naruto, who has joined the two little kids in playing with Legos. They're making a castle out of the colorful pieces and giggling at something my blonde friend is saying.

I look back to Omoi, resolve hardened, "I'm sure." I smile at him. If Naruto can still have a smile on his face after having his world pulled out from under him, I think I can too with a bald head.

He flips on the shaver and it comes to life, buzzing. I feel him work his way up the back of my head in a steady rhythm before moving on to the next strip of hair.

"So you two have gotten pretty close?" The white haired man asks. I feel a blush creep up on my cheeks.

"You could say that."

He chuckles and shakes his head, "You two are really adorable. How long have you been dating?"

I cough awkwardly, "Well, we're not exactly dating..."

"And why not?"

I look down at the checkered linoleum floor. Why_ aren't_ we dating? We've spent so much time talking and getting to know each other, and there _is_ a mutual attraction... Well, I hope it's mutual. I think it's just because there's been so much changing around me, and I'm at a really weird point in my life. Maybe _that's_ why he hasn't tried to make a move to date me.

It's weird, I feel almost... thankful for this. I smile a little and sneak a look at Naruto in the mirror. He's placing a flag on top of a teetering Lego tower and it looks like they're arguing about what to call it.

Instead of trying to explain all of this to Omoi I retort with the only question a rational person would ask: "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop?"

He laughs and shrugs, still working the shaver up my scalp, "The world may never know."

. . .

"So how come we aren't dating?" I ask Naruto abruptly as we sit down at the tables outside of Sonic. He chokes on his cherry slushy and looks up at me in surprise.

"What-" He coughs a little, "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," I blush, cursing myself for even bringing it up, "Like boyfriend and girlfriend."

He's quiet for a bit, popping the lid off of his slushy so he can push the ice around with his straw.

"I like you, but I don't think it'd be a good idea to be my girlfriend," He says thoughtfully and I'm surprised. Knowing Naruto I thought he would have been all smooth words and cocky smiles. This answer was not something I was expecting.

"What do you mean?" I ask and take off my hat to rub my head. Now that there isn't any hair to act as a barrier between my skin and the hat, it's become awfully itchy. I try not to think about the family that is sitting two tables away that might witness my pitifully fuzzy head.

"Sakura, I've come this close to death," He holds up his thumb and his pointer finger, measuring a size that's smaller than a penny. "And I'll probably come that close again, or even closer." He brings his fingers closer together, creating a smaller space in between them. "And eventually there won't be any more space." He closes his fingers, touching the tips together.

I try to laugh, "Well, everybody dies."

His hand falls to the tabletop and he sighs like he's tired, "You're right."

When he doesn't say anything more I look down at my uneaten grilled cheese and his rejection stings me. I grit my teeth as a cold breeze sweeps through the outside dining area. I suddenly feel sick and tired and angry and I just want to go home. So much has happened today and I'm reaching my limit.

"We should get back," I say quietly after a bit. Naruto checks the time on his watch.

"School is about to end." We missed the entire second half of school. I'm not surprised to find that I don't even care.

"Then I'll drive you to the hospital," I murmur and stand up, putting my food back in its bag. I'll save it for later if my appetite returns.

"Woah, what's wrong?" Naruto asks and stands up too, obviously noticing my rapid mood swing.

"Nothing, it's just been a long day and I want to get home to rest," I say and walk away, not looking him in the eye. I don't tell him how he hurt me by turning me down.

"A-are you sure?" He jogs to keep up with my fast pace as we cross the parking lot to my car. I'm just a bald girl who wants to get into the shelter of her bug before people start to notice her.

"Yes."

"Okay," He says, not really believing me. He eyes me suspiciously across the top of my bug as I fiddle with my keys in the door. My temper flares up and I snap my glare to him.

"Could you not stare at me?!" I shout, causing my voice to echo. The family that I had tried to avoid turns to look at me, curious as to who's shouting. I groan and open my door,_ so much for trying to avoid people from noticing me._

I shut my door, and for some reason, I don't bother to unlock the other door, with Naruto still outside. He doesn't knock or try to pull on the handles. I look at the dials on my dashboard blankly and before I realize what's happening, the dials become blurry and warm tears fall down onto my cheeks.

I don't know why I'm crying. I guess I just feel so overwhelmed with everything... Naruto. His parents. My lack of hair. My future. Doctor's visits. School work. My mom's mental stability. _My_ mental stability. And for some reason my mind drifts back to Prom, which is probably the stupidest thing I could be worried about.

I put my head in my hands and let my head rest on my steering wheel as I cry into my palms. I was so sure of myself just a few minutes ago when I had brazenly asked Naruto why we weren't together, and when I had so easily cut off my hair. I wonder if mood swings and random bursts of confidence are a side effect of chemo. Oh god, I didn't even warn my _Mom_ that I was going to do it. And now the one thing that made me stand out from other girls is gone.

My hair is gone.

And it won't be back until whenever I'm done with treatment... _If _I'm ever done with treatment. I feel my spirits sinking as more tears leak from my eyes. My life used to be so amazing- so great, I had the best friends and the best-

_No, _I shake myself, _you still have your friends. You still have your mom. You still have a place to stay. _I wipe at my eyes and look out my windshield, it is still a bright, beautiful day.

The voice is less forceful now_, Think of Naruto. _

I turn my gaze to him and see his back leaning against the door. He's waiting for me so patiently... I sniffle a little as inner Sakura chews me out. _You're being selfish, you could have it so much worse._

I wordlessly lean over and unlock his door before putting my seatbelt on. It takes a moment but he opens the door and climbs in. I have both hands on the steering wheel and I don't look at him, but I can feel his eyes on me.

"Are you okay?" He asks and closes his door. I start the car.

"No, but I will be."

. . .

"Today was nice," Naruto grins as we pull into the Hospital roundabout.

"It was," I nod in agreement, "We should do this again sometime."

Naruto waggles his eyebrows, "You just can't wait to see this beautiful face again, can you?"

I laugh, "It'll be hard, but I think I'll be okay until next time." He opens his door and steps out, but before he starts to walk away he leans down to look at me through the open door.

"I'm serious when I say that we should hang out again sometime soon," He says, blue eyes like warm skies. "I really like you a lot."

I feel my cheeks turn pink, "Of course, just ask Dr. Tsunade if you and Sai can-" I stop mid sentence and Naruto's eyes widen. Oh, _shit._

"Sai!" We both shout in unison, having completely forgotten our pale friend. He jumps in and I'm already speeding out of the parking lot before he even has his seat belt on.

* * *

_A/N: Reaaaders! Long time no see. You wouldn't believe how much has happened in the past month. _

_Not that you needed to know that... Anyway I've noticed that I'm gaining a lot more attention on this story as I write more chapters. So, new readers you should know that updates are more or less once a month. Sorry if you don't like that but I have a life and not much time to write... I had a whole week to crank out this baby so I guess that's why it is here!_

_Review you majestic people. Unless you don't want to, then that's fine. _


	17. Chapter 17

When we get to the our destination, Sai is nowhere to be found.

We get out of my car and walk briskly up to the school. I ignore the fact that there may be some stragglers wandering around after hours and the fact that I obviously don't have any more hair.

"Sai?" Naruto calls as soon as we enter the school lobby. I don't know why he's calling, the place is obviously empty.

"Sai! Come out ya jerk!" He bellows again.

"Naruto why are you yelling? He's not here!" I shush him, becoming annoyed with his loud voice.

"He hides, sometimes."

"He... Hides?" I stop, imagining Sai behind a curtain, shoes poking out from below carelessly.

"Whenever he gets really inspired, and wants to paint in peace, he hides," he informs me, making his way over to a trash bin and peeking in. I almost laugh at the idea of Sai snuggled in within wrappers, cans and other garbage, but the fact that we've lost one of Dr. Tsunade's patients kills my humor.

"One time Dr. Shizune, when she was working for granny, found Sai underneath the secretary's desk," he tells me, looking underneath one of the tables where they sell Prom tickets during lunch.

"Oh," I say, kind of unimpressed.

"While the two women were working. He sat between their legs underneath the desk and no one noticed until Shizune had dropped her phone on the way out. He had somehow stayed hidden for five hours," he says, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms.

"Wow," I say, looking around the lobby for all the nooks and crannies he could be hiding. "Did he get in trouble?"

"Loads." He grins.

We continue our search, even getting permission from Danzo, our grumpy custodian, to check the art supply closet. Nothing was there besides paint supplies, a kiln, and a fine coating of dust.

"Sorry, Danzo-sama," I bow apologetically after the closet is revealed to be empty. He doesn't bow in return, instead he whirls around and stomps away, raving about how disrespectful today's youth is and how we need to "be taught a lesson".

We watch him storm away and I wonder why Principal Gai ever hired that man. They really couldn't have more different opinions on today's "youth".

"What's up his butt?" Naruto asks, crossing his arms and huffing.

I'm about to reply when Danzo freezes, yards ahead of us. My heart pounds and I take a few steps back.

"Naruto, what have you done?" I hiss and watch in horror as Danzo turns to face us.

"He couldn't have heard that!" He whispers back in disbelief, but backs away with me. I can practically feel the anger radiating off of our elderly custodian.

"What did you say about my butt?!" Danzo growls and I swallow.

I can feel Naruto floundering for words beside me and we take a few more steps back. There's a door to the parking lot directly behind us, just a few yards away. We could make it, if we needed a way out fast

"N-nothing! I just said that it was cute!" He shouts, holding his hands up in surrender. I resist the urge to punch him. _What is he saying?! _

"What!?" He roars.

"It's cute! You know, round and surprisingly perky for your age!" He laughs and I grab his wrist. _Stop_, I want to scream, _what are you doing you idiot!?_

The janitor, red with rage, pulls his mop from the disgusting blue and brown water. It sloshes and shakes as he points it toward us, shouting obscene threats. I decide that the situation has gotten much too far out of control when he starts charging toward us. Time to run.

"Woah!" Naruto says and I'm pulling him backwards, not even caring if he's on his feet.

I don't look back as we burst through the door to the parking lot and we don't stop until we're safely hidden behind the only truck in the lot.

"'_Surprisingly perky for your age'?! _What were you thinking?" I hiss and he just laughs and shakes his head. "We could have been killed!" I yell, frustrated with his lack of seriousness.

"But we weren't!" He shrugs and I hold myself back from punching his stupid, adorable face.

We're too busy peeking over the bed of the truck, arguing and glaring at the door we had just burst through to see the girl approach us.

"Um, who are you and what are you doing?" She asks, sounding a little annoyed and I recognize the voice immediately. We both jerk our heads to find Karin clutching her bag and watching us with a confused expression.

"Uh, is this your truck?" Naruto laughs nervously as we back up, ashamed.

"Obviously," she snorts, and moves around us to unlock her door.

"Sorry, Karin," I say, surprised that I find myself feeling guilty. I haven't seen her since the day she stood up for me in class, and it feels weird to apologize. I've never apologized to her before, but now that I've seen her in a new light, it's hard not to feel a little obligated... Even if she did accidentally reveal the fact that I have cancer.

She stops getting in the cabin and her eyes grow wide as I say this, "We were attacked by Danzo the Crazy Custodian and we had to use your truck for shelter."

She turns toward me, eyebrows furrowing, "Sakura?"

Realization of the situation comes flooding to me and I fight the overwhelming need to duck behind my blonde friend and hide myself from view. Oh god! My hair is gone! I totally forgot while we were escaping certain death.

I shrink away, feeling naked. Go figure that it'd be Karin, my long time rival in status and appearance, to see my hair first. Or, -er lack of hair.

"Oh my god, it_ is_ you!" She breathes, eyes searching my face, "I almost didn't recognize you, now that you're... You're..." She fumbles, face turning pink.

"Bald?" Naruto supplies unhelpfully and we both flinch at the word. Leave it to Naruto to be completely oblivious to sensitive subjects.

"Yeah," I smile sadly and scratch my head, slipping my fingers beneath the material of my cap. Karin's wide eyes follow their movement. "That kind of happens when you undergo chemotherapy."

"I'm sorry," is all she says in return and I feel another beat of shock course through me. Karin? Apologizing?

"For what?" I ask, shaking my head.

"For telling the whole school about... Well," she says and fiddles with her keys.

"You didn't know... It's okay," I say, feeling incredibly awkward that we're having a normal, civilized conversation. That hasn't happened since... Ever.

"I shouldn't have butted into the whole thing. It was your business."

I shake my head. "No, to be honest you kind of saved me from a nasty situation."

"By making it worse." She smiles bitterly and looks down at her hands. Something occurs to me and I purse my lips.

"Karin...?" I say timidly. It feels weird saying her name and not some rude substitution. Like "bitch bucket" or "skank sloth".

"What?"

"How did you even know that I had cancer?" This is something that has haunted me for the past few days. Surely sweet Hinata wouldn't have told and Sasuke and Ino can't stand Karin, so they wouldn't have said anything to her either.

"Oh," She gives me an ashamed smile, "I overheard you, Ino, and Sasuke-kun talking. I-I thought you were going to be pregnant or something."

I smile wistfully, having heard that enough. "I almost wish I was instead."

Karin looks at me sharply, looking more like herself than she has all week. "You don't mean that, idiot."

I can't help but bristle at the rude name, "Yeah, I'm sure you would know plenty about that, Miss Pregnancy Scare." I narrow my eyes, crossing my arms.

"Well, at least I have the chance to be pregnant, unlike some stuck up, prude, pissants," she challenges and it's almost like nothing's changed between us.

"Woah!" Naruto says and comes between us, placing a hand on our shoulders, alarmed.

"As if that's a thing to be ashamed of, being a virgin nowadays is like being a unicorn," I fire back.

She snorts, "Yeah, horny."

We glare at each other, neither of us speaking.

"Okay just calm down, both of you," Naruto says, bringing his palms together in a pleading position.

A moment later we both burst out laughing, giggling until we're clutching our stomachs and wiping our eyes. Naruto stands and watches us as if we've both gone mad.

"Horny? Really?" I gasp, clapping a hand down on Karin's shoulder.

"Miss Pregnancy Scare?" She laughs, "You're so lame."

"I don't understand girls," Naruto huffs and shakes his head, leaning on the bed of her truck.

"I'm only lame when my heart isn't in it," I say once our giggles cease, smiling honestly.

"Well, _I_ only resort to stupid puns when _my_ heart isn't in it." She smiles too, and a warm silence falls between us. Who would have thought that all it would take to heal our broken relationship was a life threatening disease?

People should get life threatening diseases more often!

... Okay, that was a bad joke.

Naruto coughs and stands up, "Well, sorry to interrupt, but the reason we're even here is because we're looking for our friend."

I gasp and nod my head, I had almost forgotten!

... Again.

"Yeah, Sai! Do you know him?" I ask. "He has pale skin and dark eyes and an arrogant, rude personality." Karin's eyes light up from behind her glasses- which I had originally thought were ugly, but now I see that they fit her face very well- and she nods.

"Ino's new boy? The one with the memory loss?" She confirms and we nod, hope flitting through us. "Yeah, he's at my house with Ino and a bunch of other people," She says and we gape in surprise. "I'm kind of having a party since I will be in the city for the rest of the week, getting ready for Prom. That's why I'm here so late, I was getting my homework for the next few days, and that's where I should be heading now..." She finishes awkwardly and we digest the news.

So, Sai has already been invited to a party, huh? The idea surprises me more than it should. I don't know where he pulled all of that charm he was using on Ino from. He must have started using it on other kids, too.

"D'you think we could pop in and grab him?" Naruto asks and she nods.

"Of course, um, do you want a ride?" She points to her truck with her keys, "I have room and I don't think you've ever been to my house."

I fish my keys from my pocket and hold them up. "Maybe we can just follow behind?"

. . .

"So, what's with you two?" Naruto asks as I follow Karin's blue truck out of the school zone.

I sigh and smile wistfully. "It all started with Little Miss Konoha, about a billion years ago."

Naruto snorts, "Little Miss Konoha?"

"Hey! That was a big deal! And it still is, you foreigner."

"Sorry," he holds his hands up in surrender, "Continue."

"Well, it started there, and the competition was so heated, it carried through in almost every aspect of our lives. If I got a 95 percent on a spelling test, next week she would be sure to get a 98 and vice versa." I watch as she turns her blinker on and I follow suit. "Soon we were the two smartest girls in our class, and when middle school rolled around and boys became as important as school, we became obsessed with our looks, too. If her mom bought her a blouse from a new line of fashion and it was considered 'in', I would beg my mom to get it too."

I could see Naruto shake his head in my peripherals, no doubt failing to understand the female gender again.

"And then there was Sasuke," I sigh.

"Oh," he says knowingly.

"It's sad, that's the first thing I ever beat her at. I got Sasuke."

My blue-eyed passenger laughs, _"Some prize."_

"At the time it was pretty impressive, okay?"

"I see, and so your latest competition is...?" He asks, rolling down the window and sticking his hand out. The wind flows into the car as he lets his hand rides the current.

I cringe and say reluctantly, "Prom, this weekend. We're both running for queen."

"So, you're still doing that?" He sounds pleased at the idea, but I say nothing and choose to shrug instead.

I follow Karin into a neighborhood full of nice looking houses and dread fills me as we get deeper into it. Somewhere in this neighborhood is a large group of kids, drinking and laughing. Dancing and living like they don't have a care in the world.

And I'll be in the middle of it, searching for an insensitive asshole who I'm not sure I even like. The worst part about all of this is that those concerns are taking a back seat to my current problem: wind is blowing through my car and I can't take off my hat and let my pink locks blow with it. Because my pink locks are gone, and they will be until I'm done with treatment.

Naruto must see my white knuckled grip on my steering wheel because he speaks up.

"Hey, you don't have to go in. If you're not ready for people to see you, I'll go in alone," he says, practically reading my mind.

"Would you be okay with that?" I ask and I feel the knot in my stomach tighten as we pull up to a house that must be Karin's. The door is open and warm light, laughter, and music spill out. I park down the street a little and shake my head, my anxiety getting the better of me.

I'm not ready. My hands flop down on either side of me as I sigh in exhaustion.

"Of course I'd be okay with that," he says and places a reassuring hand over mine. I feel my mouth tug into a smile and I turn my hand around so that our fingers interlock.

"Good luck," I tell him, "Teenagers are reckless, hormonal, and dangerous creatures. Especially in their natural habitat." I nod to the front lawn as a group of boys stumble out, howling and laughing, obviously drunk. I shake my head, the sun isn't even down yet! Not to mention it's only a Tuesday night.

"I can see that. Thank you." We sit, smiling at each other and my heart fills with overwhelming fondness for my blonde friend. He's willing to put himself completely in a new situation where he's practically clueless just so I don't get embarrassed.

He leaves my bug and the cabin becomes significantly cooler without him. I watch as he approaches the house and exchanges a few words with a confused Karin, who's looking my way. I wave sheepishly and I'm sure that he's explaining how I'm not ready to face everyone.

She nods in understanding and motions for him to follow her into the house.

I sit for a while, just looking at the door they disappeared through, thinking about what he means to me. It's funny how much can change in less than a month. I've lost some friends, but gained new, unexpected ones. I remember my time in Gaara's room with Temari and Sai. I consider them my friends now. After all, if Naruto is friends with them, then they can't be all that bad.

Karin's face flashes through my mind, are we friends? We're not exactly enemies anymore, but we're still going against each other for Prom queen. Yet that doesn't even feel like a competition, since my heart isn't in it, anymore. I honestly don't even care anymore, much to the chagrin of Shino and Rock Lee, my campaign managers. Running feels almost like an obligation, it's something I started, so now I have to finish it.

That reminds me, I don't even have a dress for this weekend. I wonder if Ino has gotten hers yet. We could probably all get together to go dress shopping, Hinata, Tenten, Ino and I. It would be like old times, except the boys that we walk by won't be checking me out, just my friends.

I can imagine one poking me with a stick and muttering, "What is this new species?"

The idea of that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. But I guess I don't need them now that I have Naruto, even if he doesn't want to be my boyfriend. His rejection still stings and I decide to keep my mind off of that by pulling out my phone and calling my mom. The sun is setting and she's probably going to be getting off of work soon, and I haven't told her where I've been all day.

I'm sure she thinks I just went to school and came home. I smirk as it rings. I'm kind of a terrible daughter.

"Sakura! Is everything okay?" My moms panicked voice comes through and I laugh.

"Everything is fine," I say, "But I've had a long day..."

. . .

"Well, it sounds to me like you and Karin are finally getting over your ridiculous, never ending rivalry." This is the first time she's spoken since I've started telling her all about the day's adventures and surprisingly, she sounds pleased. I'm shocked she's not yelling at me for skipping half of school, chopping off my hair, losing a mentally unstable hospital patient, and letting Naruto go into a party all alone.

Now that I mention it, Naruto still hasn't come out. I wonder if Sai is putting up a fight... Although it'd be Ino who would do more of the fighting.

"Yeah, hopefully," I say absentmindedly, looking at the door and my patchy eyebrows furrowing.

"Sakura?" She comes in again.

"Hm?"

"It's okay that you took a break from school with Naruto," she says quietly and I blink in surprise and lean back in my seat.

"It is? I thought you didn't like him," I mumble.

"Well, I've thought about it, and if he makes you happy, that he's alright with me," she admits and I can't help the smile that takes over my face.

"Mom, I'm so happy. You have no idea how much I wanted to-" I start to say but I'm interrupted by a frantic knocking on my window. I look up in shock to find Yokoi, Karin's second in command, outside.

I roll down the window, wondering what she wants.

"Sakura, you have to come quick," she chokes out, heavily coated eyes wide.

"What is it?" I say in alarm, already unbuckling.

"It's your friend, Naruto."

* * *

_Hi guys! Happy Holidays! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leave me a review as a present? :')_

_And hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon, before break is over. So stay tuned!_


	18. Chapter 18

The music pulses around me as Yokoi leads the way through the mass of warm bodies and the scent of spilled beer is almost overwhelming. I don't pay any attention to the stares or the whispers rippling around us.

_Naruto_, is all I think, _please be okay_. She leads me downstairs to the basement, where the music has been turned down and people are huddled around the corner of the room, talking in hushed tones.

We rush down the stairs and towards the mob. Party-goers turn to look at us as Yokoi snaps for people to move out of the way. I recognize some faces from school as we push our way through, but I don't care if they recognize me.

"Sakura is here," She says and I'm greeted with the sight of Naruto, lying motionless on the hard, concrete basement floor.

"Oh my god," I say, scrambling down next to him. "What happened?" My voice cracks and nobody answers me. I put my ear to his chest and hold my breath, listening for a heartbeat. The reassuring, strong thump is there and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Naruto?" I whisper, brushing his hair back. "What happened?" I say loudly, bringing my attention back to the group of kids hovering around us.

They don't say anything, they just stand, gaping. Some of them are obviously stoned.

"What! Happened!?" I shout again, glaring around the circle and until my eyes land on a certain red-head, standing dumbfounded. "Karin?"

She shakes herself. "I-I don't know. I was asking if anyone had seen Sai or Ino and I turn around and he's-he's just_ seizing_ on the ground."

Seizing!? I look back at Naruto, fear settling over me. I may not be a doctor, but having a long, complicated past with brain tumors and then convulsing on the ground at a party can't mean anything good.

"How long did it last?" I ask, racking my brain for the information on the little pamphlet on strokes that I picked up from the hospital.

"O-only about a minute," She stutters. "Why?"

"Naruto?" I ask and scoot forward, touching his cheek, "Can you hear me?" I feel like it's useless, but I have to try something. Seeing him like this, eyes closed, unresponsive, freaks me out. It freaks me out more than I would have thought.

"Go find Sai," I say to Karin, tears filling my eyes. "He might know what to do." She nods and scrambles away, lip trembling.

"And Yokoi," I snap, she looks at me, shocked. "Get everyone out of here. Please." My voice sounds stronger than I feel, and I glare through my tears at the stoned, drunk kids gaping at us. Naruto isn't a freak show and we're not some sort of entertainment that they can just drool over.

She nods and starts yelling at everyone to clear the room. They're herded up the stairs and they remind me of cattle.

Soon it's just me and Naruto in a smoky basement, waiting in the silence. It occurs to me that maybe I should call 911, but when I did my research after I found out about his tumors, you don't need to unless the seizure is longer than five minutes or the person injures themselves.

I remember reading about putting something soft under the person's head and I look around for a pillow or cushion, but fail in my search. I take off my jacket and ball it up, feeling the cold, stuffy air greet my skin. I lift his head and place my jacket underneath it, and all the while I keep repeating his name over and over, not caring if it helps, I just have to do _something._

The door to the basement bursts open and my two friends rush down the stairs. Karin follows close behind, face grim. Ino's mouth is running 100 miles per hour as soon as her blue eyes land on us. It takes everything in my power not to tell her to shut up.

"_Oh my god, Sakura. Karin's told us what's happened, is he okay? Has he woken up? How did this happen? What does this mean?"_ She rushes on and lands next to me, drinking the sight of Naruto in.

"Sai," I ask, wiping my tears away, "Has this happened before?"

"Not while I've been near him," he says, looking at Naruto's unconscious form, black eyes wide.

Naruto groans and shifts, and we all turn towards him. I grasp his hand tightly, relief flooding through me.

"Naruto!" I say and his eyes flutter open, revealing the eyes that remind me so much of a warm summer's day. Except now they're clouded with confusion and something else I can't figure out.

"What happened?" He mumbles and tries to sit up, but I gently push him back down.

"You had a seizure," Karin pipes up behind me, and after a beat Naruto nods bleakly.

"I guess that explains why I feel like I had a seizure," he tries to joke, holding his head with his hand and cringing in pain.

"We need to get you back now," I say sternly but caress his face, thankful that he's back to his normal self.

For once, he doesn't fight with me about going back to the hospital, instead he just nods.

"Can you walk?" Ino asks, already getting ready to help him up.

"Yeah," he says, but any quick movements causes him to freeze and shut his eyes tight.

"What's wrong?" I ask, moving my arm under him to cradle him.

"Headache."

I frown and remember he had a headache during lunch, too.

"I'm calling 911," I say. This doesn't seem to be a normal seizure, and I don't want to take any chances.

"No!" He says a little too loudly, causing all of us to jump, "Please don't call 911. I'm fine." He opens his eyes and gives me a shaky smile. "Please."

I shake my head and pull him closer, "But Naruto, your tumor-" Karin and Ino gasp behind me.

"Will still be there, with or without an ambulance." He swallows. "Let's just take your car."

I despair, torn between letting my logical, paranoid side win or listening to the small voice in the back of my head, telling me not to overreact.

"...Okay," I relent. "We'll do this slow, okay?"

. . .

I shut the passenger door gently, Naruto and Sai tucked inside safely. I breathe a sigh of exhaustion, preparing myself for the drive to the hospital. The sun is all the way down and stars are beginning to dust the black and blue sky.

I look at Ino and Karin standing in front of me and I could almost laugh. They don't like each other at all, but at the moment, they seem to have forgotten. They watched as I ushered the two boys in, worried expressions on both of their pretty faces.

The crickets start to chirp and I smile tiredly at both of them. "So, I'll see you guys later?"

They both nod, and Ino asks, "Do you want us to go with you?"

I shake my head. "No, it'd be better if I faced the music alone. You know how it is."

"I shouldn't have brought Sai here," Ino says, hugging herself and looking down at the ground. "It wasn't a good idea, and now Naruto's-"

"No," Karin interrupts her. "I just stood there, I should have done something-"

"Both of you," I snap, clenching my fists. "Stop. What happened to him isn't your guys' fault."

They nod weakly and silence fills the air.

"I-I like your hair," Ino says after a few awkward moments, tears filling her eyes. This is the first time she's addressed my new style, but I could feel her eyes on my exposed head when I was helping Naruto up with Sai.

"Thanks, I guess." I say, trying not to shoot back _"What hair?"_

"I mean it," Her voice trembles and she starts forward, arms outstretched for a hug.

"I'm going now," I say, backing away from her reach. Not even Sai would miss the hurt in her eyes. she steps back too and resumes hugging herself. I can't explain why I don't want any physical contact.

Maybe because I feel like I don't deserve it. Maybe it's because I know deep down that it isn't their fault.

It's mine.

If I hadn't been selfish and shallow and just gone in with him, maybe I could have somehow prevented it. It could have been the smoke, or the loud music, or the amount of people. Or maybe even the lack of a familiar person.

Who know's what could have triggered it?

I jingle my keys and start to turn around when a hand catches my arm.

"It wasn't your fault either, Sakura," Karin says.

"See you guys tomorrow," I avoid their gazes by casting my eyes downward. If I had any hair, it would be covering them.

I round the front of my bug and get in the drivers side before they say anything else. The silence is thick as I start the car.

"How do you feel?" I ask as I adjust my mirrors. I'm trying to look like I'm busy, but in reality I'm stalling. I'm not sure if Naruto is really ready for me to get going.

"Good," he says, but his eyes are squeezed shut and he's sitting back in his chair, head on the headrest. He looks like he feels anything but good.

"Okay," I hesitate, "But let me know if you start to feel weird."

"I will," he bites out, but it's not impatient or mean. It's almost like it pains him to talk.

Worry hangs over me like a black cloud as I pull out of the neighborhood. What if he has another seizure while I'm driving?

"Ug-... Sakura?" I hear from the back seat and I'm momentarily taken back at Sai's appropriate use of my name.

"Yeah?"

"How does Ino Yamanaka feel about me?" he asks, so quiet I have to strain to hear him. I'm surprised that he doesn't realize what is so brazenly obvious to everyone else.

"I think she likes you," I say distractedly and pull onto the highway so that it doesn't take as long to get to the hospital.

"Likes me?"

"Yeah, likes you," I say.

"But doesn't Naruto _like_ me?" He mumbles and I hear Naruto snort beside me.

"You wish."

"What are you asking?" I ask Sai, peaking at him in the mirror. He doesn't sound like his normal, blank self. In fact when I look at him, his eyebrows are scrunched together worriedly.

"I don't want her to like me."

"Sai, you are so confusing," Naruto laughs, but stops and presses a hand to his forehead, cringing.

"Stop talking," I say softly, but sternly. "Both of you."

They hum in return and I turn my attention back to the road. I fret about what could be wrong with my blue eyed friend. Even though the answer is obvious, right in front of me, I don't want to believe it.

If Naruto has had this health condition- these, these tumors- and gotten over it, he can do it again.

Tsunade's words begin to come back to me,_ "Now that Naruto is 16 he is legally allowed to refuse radiation and chemotherapy, and that's what he has chosen to do."_ Naruto's refusing !? Doesn't he know it could safe his life? Why is he committing suicide!?

There has to be a way to convince him to begin treatment again. Anytime I think about him becoming anything but better a sharp, icy pain shoots through my heart. He has to get better.

He has to.

. . .

"Naruto!" The orderlies at the front desk gasp as Sai and I enter through the sliding doors, Naruto in the middle of us, arms wrapped around our shoulders.

"He had a seizure," I inform them and one rushes to where we're standing while the other picks up her phone and dials a number.

"How long did it last?" The one in front of us asks, pulling a small flashlight from her scrubs and opening one of Naruto's eyes, checking his signs. He moans in response.

"He's practically unconscious. How long did it last?" She asks again, with a worried tone.

"About a minute," Sai says and I see that he's looking down at Naruto's unmoving figure with... fear in his eyes.

"Did he hurt himself while the seizure was occurring?" she asks while she's taking the pulse on his neck.

"I-uh," I flounder. "I don't know. I wasn't exactly... there." When I finish the orderly looks at me sharply.

"Were you there, Sai?" She asks and looks back down at her watch, timing Naruto's heart rate.

"No, Tatsumi-san, I was busy with a girl," he says innocently and the women glares daggers at me again.

_I know,_ I want to say, _I know I screwed up, _but instead I just purse my lips and hang my head.

"There they are!" The other orderly says as a team of nurses come out of the elevator across from the lobby, they have a hospital bed in tow and my heart starts beating faster.

"Bring him," Tatsumi orders and we trek slowly and carefully as the nurses roll up quickly to meet us. They lift him from our grasp and place him on the white sheets. As soon as he's on they're rolling away, examining him and shooting medical lingo at each other that I don't understand.

We start to follow but Tatsumi and her friend stop us. "You two stay, we have some paperwork you need to fill out."

After a moment or two of watching Naruto disappear inside the elevator, flanked by the team of nurses, we both nod slowly, a little dumbstruck. We make our way towards the plush chairs set in front of a four sided, glass covered fireplace. This hospital really is nice. _Tsunade has done a good job,_ I think numbly.

They come moments later with some papers and two clipboards. "Will he be okay?" I can't help but ask in a small voice as I receive my clipboard.

"Well, we'll see," one of them says sharply and crosses her arms. "He shouldn't have had any more reactions for at least another year."

I wince at the accusation in her eyes and words and look down at the paperwork. They set pens down on the coffee table in front of us and leave, talking quietly to each other.

Sai immediately picks up a pen and goes to work on his form, but I can't bring myself to do the same. Where is Naruto now? What did all of the medical things they were saying mean? Is he going to be okay? Was it my fault?

The way the nurse looked at me could answer the last one. But, I guess I don't blame them. The boys should have been checked in hours ago, but no, I had to go and shave my head. God, I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have just left Sai out of my sight. He's a mental patient, what was I thinking?!

I shake my head and try to clear my thoughts. I have to fill this paperwork out. They have to know what happened.

The questions are relatively simple, asking where, when, and how. I put on my AP language pants and answer in the most clear, sophisticated manner I can muster. I'm not stupid, and I'm not irresponsible and I want them to see that.

I stop mid-sentence when I hear Sai's pen strokes, they're long and irregular. Not like my own frantic scribbling. I blink and turn to look at his paper, what is he doing?

He has his paper flipped so the blank side shows and he's drawing what looks like two forms. I gape at the drawing and look at his face, he looks absolutely concentrated. His coal black eyes are so intense I wouldn't be surprised if he burned a hole through the paper. He's probably not even aware that I'm looki-

"Don't look yet," his deep voice says, jerking me out of my thoughts. I smile sheepishly._ So much for not aware of me._

I respect his wishes by turning my gaze away back to my own undecorated paper. I only have a little bit left to fill out but I can't bring myself back to focusing on it. I sigh and set my clipboard down on the table in front of me.

I wonder when they'll let us see him. _If _they'll let us see him. I can only imagine how angry Dr. Tsunade will be. She probably won't let me take him anywhere ever again. I sigh and hang my head, so much for asking him to be my date to prom.

But I guess it's stupid to worry about that, since my would-be date was just abducted by worried looking nurses and rolled to the emergency room.

...maybe I hadn't been too paranoid. Maybe I had been right to want to call 911. I mean just look at how the nurses reacted to us telling them what happened!

Well, whatever happens now is out of my control, even though I hate it, I just have to wait and see. My gaze wanders around the lobby and it lands on the grand piano I saw the first day I was here. I remember how nervous I had been. How terrified.

My biggest concern was having to lose my hair. I snort and shake my head. It's only been about two weeks and I'm almost a completely different person. My smile fades as I keep my eyes on the piano. I swore to myself that I would never play again. I would never brush my fingers over the ivory, smooth keys. Never press lightly and close my eyes as a soft note, quieter and more peaceful than the wind whispered out.

It was the only time when my "father" would pay any attention to me. As if my playing was all I had going for me. Whenever I finished a piece I refused to enjoy, he would stand up clumsily- since he would only ask me to play after several shots- and place a heavy hand on my head. It took all of my self control not to shove it off of me or jerk away.

I hated him. I hated everything about him. And I wanted so desperately to hate playing.

But I didn't.

I loved it. I loved it the way a runner loves running or the way an actor loves the stage. Even though the lessons were long and arduous, I soon became amazed with what I could do. What I could create: Music. Art. Life. Most of the time I didn't even need sheet music. I would just sit down and let the music carry me away. I often felt like it wasn't even me that was creating it. I felt as if I was just a spectator to my own fingers.

And after he betrayed us, I swore I would never play again... I wonder if he's teaching his new child to play.

I wonder if he still drinks and if it was really worth it, uprooting our lives just so he could have a shot at a new one, with a younger, fresher woman.

I look down at my clenched fists and sigh. Now is not the time to be having these thoughts again. I have so many things to be worried about now. Things that are happening as I sit here, that require my attention. My eyes flick back up and my resolve cracks a little. _I want to play_, I realize quietly to myself, _even after all of that hell, I want to play_.

I might not live to see 18, so maybe I don't have time to hold grudges. After all, my dad didn't make me sneak down in the middle of the night when I was ten to plunk out random, ringing chords.

My dad didn't plant the seed of me loving playing the piano. So why should I have to stop doing something that I've grown to love?

"You can look now," a voice jerks me out of my inner monologue and I blink in surprise. Sai is holding his paper out, offering it to me. He's not looking at me, instead his eyes are elsewhere. Like he doesn't want to watch my reaction, which is weird, considering who it is.

As I take it from his offering hands I'm once again taken back at how skilled he is. The two forms have become two extremely recognizable humans. Naruto and I. Naruto is lying on the ground, his head cradled in my lap. He's looking up at me, wincing in pain, but smiling. I breathe in amazement as I'm brought back to the moment when he woke up. My eyes wander to my form, crouching over him with my free hand, the one not supporting his head, is caressing his face. Tears drip from my eyes and down to his face, but there's a definite smile on my face. I hadn't even known I was crying.

Everything about this is breathtaking. He's managed to get everything accurate: from my bald head to Naruto's pain filled smile, to my balled up hoody, lying discarded next to us. Even the tears seem to shimmer with life. I look at Sai in awe, but I can't meet his eyes, since he's still turned away.

"Sai," I whisper thickly, choked with emotion, "why?"

"Because I want them to see that it wasn't your fault," He looks at me, eyes sharp like glass. "I want them to see that you love Naruto."

My heart stops.

"What?"

* * *

_I told you this chapter would be out soon! Do I deliver or do I deliver?! Ahaha. Aha. Ahem. _

_...Okay, anyway. A lot of you are probably like, "Yes! I knew that would happen!" I think this story is going to get a bit sad. If you jump ship now I honestly wont blame you. _

_Also, about the new manga chapter: don't get discouraged. Nothing is canon and we all have to just keep shipping this and hoping they end up together. Kishi wouldn't have given us so much golden development if he had nothing in mind._

_Reviews are always appreciated. ALSO! If you like the Hunger Games, go check out my relatively new fanfic, The Senshi Games. It's a crossover between Naruto and the Hunger Games. But don't worry it's nothing too weird, it's just if the hunger games had been brought to the Naruto universe._


	19. Chapter 19

"_In whatever time we have_

_For as long as we are living_

_We can face whatever comes_

_If we face it now as one_

_I could make on my own _

_Let me know that I don't have to_

_No one really wants to be alone_

_In whatever we time have"_

_-Children of Eden_

* * *

The clear door slides open to Naruto's temporary room, located on the 6th floor. The first thing I notice is the lack of noise - well, besides a constantly rising and falling high-pitched beep. I recognize it from tv as a heart monitor and I realize Naruto must be asleep, because he'd never let a room stay this quiet. A nurse is taking some notes near the sink as I cautiously step in.

"Uh, hi," I say. "They said I could come back..."

She turns to look at me and she smiles sadly. "Take your time."

"Thanks."

She leaves, but not before placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. I contemplate what she means by "take your time."

I look at Naruto; he looks so small in that big bed with all of those tubes and needles hooked up to him. I inch closer until I can see his face and a shaky, relieved breath escapes me. He looks just like the same old Naruto Uzumaki. _He doesn't look like he's going to die. _The shallow, useless thought gives me a little comfort.

I pull up a chair next to his bed and stare at him, willing him to open his eyes, sit up, and start joking about how Sai probably did voodoo magic to get invited to the party at Karin's.

_"I want them to know that you love Naruto_."

Sai's words echo in my mind and I take Naruto's hand in mine. I feel myself calming down. His touch is a familiar island in a sea of the unknown.

_"What?"_

_"All of the signs are there. You care about him, you give him little physical affections, you have mood swings,-" I can't help but bristle at that - "and I can tell you always think about him," he finishes and I gape at him, unsure of what to say. He had always been watching. I didn't hide my emotions around him because I thought he couldn't analyze them. Let alone grasp them._

_He stands up and motions for his work. I wordlessly give it to him and he makes his way over to their desks. He drops the sheet of paper in front of Tatsumi's desk._

_"Sai?" I call as he keeps walking down the hall, leaving me alone in the lobby. "Where are you going?"_

_He doesn't answer me; instead he just raises a hand in goodbye._

"I don't know how Sai knew even before I knew," I say out loud, tracing his nose with my forefinger on my other hand, the one not holding his. His nose is straight and unblemished, just like the rest of his skin. My eyes drink in his features, since this is the first time i've had the uninterrupted chance to do so. He's really handsome, I notice, but you can't really tell under his boyish, goofy personality. I trace his eyebrows next, thankful they're not furrowed in pain. They're peaceful.

"I wish you weren't sick," I say, tears abruptly filling my eyes. "I wish I weren't sick."

I grip his hand tighter, "I want us to have a future."

No matter how you look at it, our case is helpless: two terminally ill teens who both have a high percentage of dying. Yet, even with the odds against us, I still have hope.

"I wish you would have said yes," I mumble and lean my chin on the side of his bed.

I peek at the clock on the wall and I see that it's almost midnight. I had called my mom when Sai left me alone so that I could tell her what happened. She asked if I wanted some company or if i wanted her to come pick me up. I told her no, thank you, I'm going to try to talk to him when he wakes up. Thankfully, she said she understood and she told me to get home safe whenever I could and that she loved me.

As I yawn and stretch it occurs to me that I have school tomorrow. It also occurs to me what day it is: tomorrow will be my second chemotherapy session. The thought brings dread flooding through me. I don't want to have to go through all of that again, but it seems like I don't have much of a choice anymore.

Well, apparently I do...

I have as much of a choice as Naruto does, and he's refusing it. But I can't do that, I can't afford that. My mom would murder me if I died, right along with Ino. I shudder as I imagine their reactions if I chose not to have treatment. Nope, won't be doing that.

I trace circles on his hand with my thumb, thinking.

"I love you," I say, knowing I would never be able to say it to his face if he were conscious, especially after he turned me down at lunch.

"I love you and it scares me," I add, chin still resting on the side of his bed, "because the future is such an intangible thing."_ Especially with us. _

My face burns as I say the next part, "Also because I don't have much experience with real love."

I stay like that for a while, watching his chest rise and fall gently, and I wonder what he's dreaming about. I'm slowly drifting off, comforted by his touch and the reassuring, constant beeps of the heart monitor. The day's excitement really has taken a toll on me, and I let my heavy eyelids slide shut.

"I think it's time for you to go home," a voice says in the doorway and I sit up sleepily and look at the clock. It's 1:22. Oops.

"I'm sorry, I just lost track of time," I tell the voice and look up to find that Dr. Tsunade is the source. I feel the stinging whips of panic and guilt.

"Oh my god," I say and bow, "I'm sorry." I can't tell what exactly I'm saying sorry for.

"Haruno-"

"I shouldn't have left Sai out of my sight."

"Haruno, listen-"

"It's all my fault. Please don't punish them." I'm crying now, hot, ugly tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Look, kid-"

"I failed and look what happened. I am _so_ sorry."

"Sakura!"

"He got hurt and I wasn't there for him because I was being a coward." I start crying even harder, all of my guilt flooding out of me and dripping onto the floor. "He was the one who went in because he knew that I wasn't ready and now look at him-"

My ranting is halted by someone wrapping me in a hug. I stand in shock as I'm surrounded in warm, nice smelling softness. I blink when I realize who it is: Dr. Tsunade.

As quickly as she had enveloped me, she pulls away. Her usually sharp face is open, vulnerable and... tired.

"Listen to me," she says, and I stare at her with wide, wet eyes. She has my full attention now.

"I know how you feel," the woman tells me. "I know how you feel more than you could ever understand." She looks at Naruto, but not _at_ Naruto, it's like she's looking past him. Like she's remembering something.

"Dr. Tsunade?" I ask, sniffling. It's hard to believe that this woman is the same hard-as-nails dictator that I faced when I had gotten into trouble with Temari, Gaara and Sai. She brings her gaze back to me.

"You have to realize that this isn't your fault." She motions to the unconscious Naruto, hooked up to machines and tubes whose function I can't fathom. "And whatever happens to him," she adds quietly, "is not your fault."

I look at him, too, and contemplate what she's saying. "If you know how I feel," I bring my focus back to her, a lump in my throat, "Then you understand that I can't just snap my fingers and feel guilt and pain free."

"I'm not saying that you will be pain-free." She looks at me, too, honesty in her eyes, "Nothing in life is pain-free. Strings will be attached, and strings will break. And I'm not going to lie to you, it's gonna hurt like hell."

. . .

"Ready?" My mom asks as I shut the door of her car and settle in. Her car is so much nicer than mine and I sink down in the seat, relishing the cushy leather and fact that I don't have to drive for once.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I say and bring my knees up to my chin and gaze out the window as she pulls out of the parking lot.

"How did people react?" She's talking about my baldness, I presume.

"Like teenagers would react to another teenager without hair," I say curtly and I see her purse her lips in my peripherals.

"You've gotta give me more than that."

"It sucked," I snap. "They had sucky reactions, they whispered sucky things and pointed their sucky fingers behind my back." I can't help but feel guilty when she winces. I reel in some of my frustration and continue a bit more softly, "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Well, at least I can get you out early." Her optimism annoys me and I choose to ignore her forced "glass half full" approach. Since my appointment is at 11:30 she signed me out before 4th period had ended.

"And now I get a gallon of acid pumped into me," I sigh. "Joy."

"Don't talk like that," my mom says tiredly, pulling onto the highway.

"That's basically what it is," I say. "It's killing me more than the Leukemia itself is."

"Just try to stay strong," she says, voice wavering. "We can get through this."

I don't reply, instead I unlock my phone and check for messages from Naruto. From anyone. From Hinata or Temari or even Sasuke. Someone or something to distract me from the impending doom I face.

But no, 0 messages. Nothing.

Having nothing to lose, I text Temari.

_Have you heard anything about Naruto? _

I hit send and go to my contacts, scrolling to find someone I can talk to, keep my mind off of his things.

I scroll past the name "Satoshi," and I stop. Dad.

"Does Dad know?" I ask and my mom grips the steering wheel tight. It's never occurred to me that my mom might have called him and I'm curious.

"I haven't told him," my mom says through grit teeth and I purse my lips and nod, even though I expected it, it still bothers me. "Why are you asking?"

"Well I thought he'd like to know his first born child has cancer," I say, my temper rising.

"He left us," she snaps. "He wants nothing to do with us."

"Yeah. He's terrible, but he doesn't deserve to be kept in the dark," I say, locking my phone and letting blackness envelope where there was once my dad's name.

"We're not having this conversation now," she says in a tone that leaves no room for argument. I let myself fall even deeper into my seat. I don't want to be here. I want to be back in my room, curled up in my blankets, and watching movies on my laptop.

The only thing keeping me sane is the possibility of me maybe being able to see Naruto after treatment if he's feeling well enough. I hope we can get lunch together in the cafeteria.

. . .

The treatment routine is about the same as it was last time: there are the same nurses in the same room, but now I have a worried mother fussing over every little thing.

"Are you feeling any pain, honey?"

"_No, Mom."_

"Are you comfortable, baby?"

"_Yes, Mom."_

"Do you need a pillow, Sakura?

"_No, Mom."_

"That nurse was way too rough with you, do you want me to complain to Dr. Tsunade?"

"_No, Mom."_

"Do you want the remote, sweetie?"

"_Yes, Mom._" The only reason I say yes is so that I can turn on a show and turn the volume way up, the sounds of a hockey game drowning out my Mom's questions.

I love her to death, but I'm feeling a little smothered.

She noncommittally watches the game with me and flips through a glossy magazine. She keeps eyeing the place where my IV drip meets my skin and the actual clear bag of chemo itself, as if her untrained eye can catch anything wrong with it that the nurses couldn't.

"Mom," I say, and immediately all of her attention is on me. "I'm feeling a little thirsty. Do you think you could go get me some cranberry juice?"

She jumps up, eager to get me what I want, but at the same time she hesitates at the door. "Will you be okay?" she asks. I smile and wave her away.

"I'm not going anywhere."

When the door closes behind me I sag down in my cushy armchair and breathe a sigh of relief. I like the fact that she was able to come with me this time, but I just wish she would stop being so... fussy over me.

I pull out my phone now that I have a moment to myself to check for messages. Temari still hasn't replied to me and I bite my lip. I hope everythings alright with her... Or maybe I just got the wrong number from Naruto.

I try not to think about how I'm going to be puking my brains out in less than four hours by watching the hockey game on the TV. I've sort of taken a liking to the sport... If I ever get through this and if I'm ever strong enough again, I'm tempted to try out for a women's team.

My musing is interrupted by a knocking on the large window that looks out to the cancer ward lobby. A grinning, blue eyed boy waves at me and motions for me to come out. It's Naruto, and he's awake and okay! I grin, elated to see him up and around and looking as mischievous as ever. But I shake my head and motion for him to come in.

He shakes his head and pouts, sticking his bottom lip out.

"_No,"_ I mouth, but my lips are still pulled into an amused smile. I still really don't feel safe moving around with this tube going into my arm.

He claps his hands together in a pleading motion and tilts his head, sky blue eyes glimmering. I laugh, partly because I'm just so relieved he's okay and partly because he thinks pouting will work on me. I've had several years of training with Ino and I can safely say that I've become immune to blonde fits.

He looks to his left and his eyes snap wide, he ducks down and runs to my door. He slips inside my little room and I look at him triumphantly, but he's not paying attention. He's ducking underneath the little window in the door, watching as an orderly goes by.

"So, not out of the hot water yet, eh?" I ask smugly. After all, I won the battle to get him in here.

When he sees the coast is clear he laughs and scratches the back of his head ashamedly, "I may or may not have bribed old man Hiroshi to take the place in my bed."

I shake my head and notice his outfit: light green, striped pajama pants and a comfortable looking v-neck t-shirt. He really did just slip out of bed; even his hair looks tousled and matted from a long night's rest. He's not even wearing any shoes or socks. He plops down next to me and I look at him, turning serious.

"How do you feel? What did they say?"

"I feel good," he says, distracted with trying to kick out the footrest on his recliner. I drape a hand over his and he pauses his failing attempt.

"I mean it," I look him in the eye. "What did they say?"

He hangs his head and laughs, defeated, and looks back up at me. "What do you want me to tell you?"

"The truth would be nice."

"The truth?" He mumbles. "The truth!?" He grows louder and rips his hand from my grasp and standing up on the chair he points down at me as he proclaims, _"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"_

I don't laugh, like he wants, instead I keep my face stony and cross my arms tightly, glaring up at him, basically saying_ I'm waiting._ He purses his lips and after a moment, sits back down.

"The doctors are almost completely sure that it was a reaction to me having low blood sugar coupled with the fact that I hadn't not taken my medication for a week... or three." He flinches and holds up his hands, like he's bracing himself for a punch.

I can't bring myself to be mad at him, I just find myself deeply relieved that it wasn't caused by anything like a brain tumor recurrence.

"Wait," I say, not quite believing him. "Why do you have to sneak around and have an old man take the place in your bed?"

He puts his hands down slowly, blinking in surprise. "You mean, you're not mad at me?"

"You answer my question first."

He scratches his head. "I've been known to sneak away when I need additional check ups and Granny really put me in lock down, I could barely get away this time."

Okay, _now_ I want to punch him. Really hard. But I stop myself. _You shouldn't punch a kid with brain tumors, Sakura._

"Well, at least it wasn't anything too bad," I say quietly and allow myself to properly feel relieved.

"Yeah, not this time." He turns grim. "I still have time."

It's like a punch to my gut.

"Shut up," I murmur. "Don't talk like that." I realize how much I sounded like my Mom when I said that. I watch the television, fiddling with my hands. I won't be speaking like that around my Mom ever again, no wonder she hates it so much. It makes me feel so _helpless._

"Anyway, I was thinking we should go on an adventure," he says after a long silence and I look at him incredulously. I lift my left hand, which is hooked up, rendering it kind of difficult to move. He looks at it blankly, like he doesn't get what I'm saying. "So?"

"Naruto!" I cry. "I can't just sneak out and run around while I'm getting pumped full of acid! I'm not brave and sneaky and agile like you. Plus my mom is with me."

He raises a blonde eyebrow and looks around the empty room. He lowers his voice to a whisper, "Is your mom a ghost?"

I crack a smile at that, "No, idiot. She's just getting me some juice."

Right on cue the door opens and my mom comes in, rustling around for something in her purse, not seeing that I have a visitor. "They didn't have cranberry juice but they did have apple..." Her voice fades out as she lifts her head and her eyes set on my companion.

"Hey, Mrs. H!" Naruto greets cheerfully, not even fazed.

She blinks, like she thinks she's not seeing things right, and she finally speaks, "Naruto, right?"

"That's me!" He smiles a radiant smile and I'll be surprised if I don't get sunburned from it.

"He was just leaving," I interrupt as my mom starts to say something, "Right, Naruto?"

"Right!" He doesn't miss a beat. I wish I could move from this chair so I could grab his ear and throw him out before he gets both of us in trouble for smuggling a patient who is supposed to be in bed. He stands up and swiftly makes his way over to my mom, who blinks as he comes into her close proximity. He swoops a hand down and brings up her hand in his- the one not holding my juice- and leans down to kiss it, a twinkle in his eye. "It was lovely to formally meet you."

I roll my eyes, but notice the blush creeping up on my Mom's cheeks. He's totally won her over.

Cheeky bastard.

My mom's making her way over to me when he pauses at the door and turns serious, eyes locking with mine. "I may not have much time left, but the time we have _is_ tangible."

I freeze. Had he heard what I said when he was sleeping and drugged up? No. _Impossible._

"And we can make the most of it," he finishes and slips out the door, letting it click behind him quietly.

"What was that about?" my mom asks and hands me my juice. I take it numbly and I can tell by the way her face paled that she has a pretty good idea of what it was about. I wonder what else he had heard. _"I love you and it scares me."_

"Nothing," I mutter and look at the timer next to me, there's only about a minute left and I'm so close to being done. I feel jolted and uneasy, well, even more so than I had before. Naruto's seizure and confession have made me realize that this isn't some game. This is real, and this cancer is real. His tumors are real. I'm not going to wake up from this nightmare any time soon.

_People don't come here to live_, the image of the little boy in the wheelchair that Sai had drawn flying high above the children's ward flashes through my mind, _people come here to die._

I stare at the stupid, egg shaped timer, wishing desperately that it would just go off so I can be unhooked and set free. No wonder Naruto always wants to get out of here. It feels like a prison. But it's worse, it's a morgue.

And as much as I really don't want to be one of them, I realize that ever since my foot first stepped in the door of this godforsaken place, I was already dead.

My timer dings.

* * *

_Hi, guys! Okay, first things first: I am not abandoning The Senshi Games. I just haven't had inspiration, and honestly, it's taking a backseat to this story, which I'm pretty close to finishing. Except not really there are probably going to be at least another 10 chapters. _

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter. What did you think? Was it what what you expected?_

_ALSO! Lots of you guys had brought up The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green, and how this reminds you of it. In fact, after reading that, I was inspired to write this. So, if you see any parallels, that's why. (Although I'm trying really hard to keep it two separate stories.)_

_Anyway, if you want, leave me a nice review!_


	20. Chapter 20

For as long as I can remember I've been a "Yes Man" or a "Yes Woman" or whatever you wanna call it. Basically I would say yes to almost everything. Well, except maybe the more risky things, like driving drunk or doing meth.

...Okay, maybe I'm lying about the whole "meth" thing. I've never been offered it, thank god.

It seems that now that I'm a certified cancer patient I'm no longer a "yes woman". I'm more of an "I'm Sorry But I'm Throwing Up Woman". Which itself is more upsetting than the fact that I've been hugging my toilet for about an hour.

I apologize to Hinata again after turning down her invitation for a movie night. If circumstances had been different and if I was still a "Yes Woman" I would have jumped at the idea and grabbed my favorite movies and pajamas and rushed out the door.

I set my phone down on the floor, shoulders slumped in defeat. I press my forehead to the toilet seat and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ignore my flipping stomach. The normally delicious smell of chocolate chip cookies wafts up from the kitchen and I can't believe it when hot, acidic tasting bile fills my mouth. I love chocolate chip cookies and that's why my mom decided to bake them, to cheer me up. It was also kind of an experiment, to see if there was anything I'd be able to eat.

_It looks like there isn't_, I think dully as I heave clear liquid. It seems like I'm not the only new "No Man" in the house. My stomach has joined the club, rejecting all tastes and smells. Even if the smell is gooey, warm, heavenly chocolate chip cookies. It looks like my stomach is empty now, since all I'm dissolved to is dry heaving. My phone buzzes again and I know its probably Karin or Tenten wondering if we could go prom dress shopping, I already had to tell Ino no.

"Honey! Cookies!" My mom calls up the stairs.

"No thanks! I'm not hungry!" _I'd rather put a campfire out with my face than have to eat those cookies!_

After another half an hour I find myself shuffling to my room, scrolling through my facebook feed on my phone, trying to distract myself from feeling shitty and from remembering last night. Taking Naruto to the hospital feels so far away, but in reality, it's only been 10 or so hours ago. Facebook is the same enthusiastic statuses about prom and partying and hating school and stupid _"like this if you..."_ crap.

I wrinkle my nose in distaste and toss my phone onto my comforter. Was I that shallow last month? I collapse next to it and curl onto my side, hating how my bones ache and my skin feels unnaturally tight.

How the hell am I going to go to prom this weekend? I mean, of course I'm going, but how? How am I going to be able to dance and sweat and drink and have fun? What about my prom pictures? My hand travels up and grazes my bald head. I jerk a little in surprise when there is no hair.

_I'll never get used to that_, I think as I rub it. Maybe I can wear a cute hat for the pictures? There were wigs offered to me at the cancer ward, they were "high quality!" and "cheap! cheap! cheap!"

Maybe, I'll just hideout at one of the tables with Naruto-

Wait. I haven't even asked him to prom, yet, have I?

My phone buzzes and I grin, _right on time_. When I unlock it, it's not a text from Naruto, like I'd expect. It's a text from Temari.

_Hey, sorry I didn't text you back. I had a big important dinner with my dad, and there were "no god damn phones at the table you little shits." His words exactly. Anyway, I heard about what happened with Naruto from Gaara. He should be fine. This isn't the first reaction he's had, and it won't be his last. _

I try to take her reassurances to heart, but I still can't help but be worried for him. I'm writing out a reply when my phone buzzes once more, Temari again.

_Sorry, that was rude. Did you need anything? How are you feeling? I heard it was a chemo day today. I have the day off, if you want someone to hang with._

I'm touched by her concern and I type out a response, basically saying that I'm fine, but it's definitely a chemo day. I almost hit send when I remember something. Ignoring my shitty mood and the fact that you can practically feel the sickness in my house, I clear all of my previous text and rapidly type out:

_Actually, would it be too much to come over? I need help with planning something._

. . .

"Is this really necessary?" Temari asks me, fiddling with her bow tie. She's wearing the only suit we have in the house... The only one my dad didn't pack up when he left us.

"Yes," I say, pushing the negative "dad" thoughts from my mind and straightening out my yellow, poofy princess dress. I had worn it last year for Halloween. Ino was Princess Peach and I was Princess Daisy. There was a big, brown wig, but I go without, it would have felt too weird.

"Oh, you girls just look so cute," Mom says in my doorway, holding a plate of the chocolate chip cookies that had made me puke a couple hours ago. "Cookie?" She offers Temari, "Sakura didn't want any, but I don't want them to go to waste, so you should have some."

Temari looks from the plate to my paled face; even though their stink isn't reaching my nostrils, my stomach's already twisting. "No thanks," Temari says and my mom looks disappointed.

"Okay," she says and slowly starts heading back out into the hallway, singing, "but they're here for you if you change your mind." I roll my eyes and cross over to her, shutting my door in her face. _"And I know you will!" _She calls and laughs her high-pitched witch laugh that she used to use all the time when I was young.

I laugh and Temari cracks a grin. "She's nice."

"When she's not harassing the hospital nurses," I say. _Or in a comatose state._

"So are they ready?" I ask, sitting at my computer and opening Skype.

"Yep, Gaara should have Naruto with him... right now," My fancily dressed friend says, checking the time on her phone.

I try not to feel stupid as I position my webcam towards my door and situate it so that you can see the space in between my closet and front door. _Don't back down. Don't back down._ I tell myself. Hell, if tough as nails Temari can swallow her pride and do this, I can do this.

I place the crown on my bald head and give Temari a reassuring nod. If I'm gonna ask someone to prom, it's not going to be a lame, half-assed attempt, like the boys in my school that write "_WILL U GO TO PROM WIT ME?_" in big sloppy letters on a banner and hang it up above the hallway. No. I'm going all the way.

"Remember your lines?"

"I don't really know," she admits.

"Perfect," I say, clapping my hands leaving the room. I let the door click silently behind me and immediately I press my ear to the wood and listen to her muffled conversation with her brother. She texted Gaara what was really going down with the skype call and he promised to play it off as just a random call from his sister who was visiting another city and simply missed her dear old brother. And of course, Naruto would be there, too.

"Actually, I have been thinking about who I was going to ask to prom," I hear Temari say loudly after a bit, and I realize it's almost my cue line.

Now, I was in a play when I was in middle school- it was a production of _"Beauty and the Beast"_- and let me tell you, I was the best spoon out there. So I'm no novice to oscar level acting.

"The wonderful and beautiful Sakura Haruno!" She calls and I open the door, flipping my nonexistent hair and dancing in. _Think spoon. Think spoon. You're bald and skinny just like a spoon._

I hear Naruto burst out laughing and some of the nerves I didn't know I had dissolve. I catch them on screen, they're sitting down, faces visible. Gaara looks slightly amused while Naruto looks as though he's never seen something so exciting and hilarious.

"Oh, Temari-kun! You are so handsome and kind and brave!" I say loudly, waving my hands in the air, as if swatting away invisible butterflies.

"So, you're saying yes!' She says and gets up from her crouched position on the floor, which she had assumed so our audience could see me, and makes her way over to me. "You'll go to prom with me!" Now her fancy tuxedo is revealed.

"Temari-kun..." I say, swishing my dress and feigning embarrassed. "You know I would love to," I change my expression from happy to serious, "but I can't."

"Oh!" She cries out, trying to act upset, but she's holding back laughter, "How could this happen to me?!" She gets down on one knee, "Please my sakura blossom!" She isn't trying to stifle her giggles. "I love youuuuu!"

She tries to grab at my gloved hand but I pull out of her grasp and turn away, "Alas, I was going to ask another prince from a far off land to prom."

"What!" She gasps, hands flying to her mouth. "Who?!"

"The great Prince Naruto Uzumaki!" I say and look at the webcam, and hope they can hear me well enough. I mean, I hadn't really needed to hone my projection skills as a dancing spoon.

Temari cries out and falls to the ground, wailing dramatically and I almost break character and dissolve into disbelieving laughter. Is she really going this far? From what I've seen of her, she's always been stony, sarcastic, and impassive. It must be because I'm a cancer patient.

Cancer perks. I like them.

"So what do you say, great Uzumaki?" I say and take a seat at my computer, "Will you go to prom with me?" I'm breathing hard and smiling, my face warm. I'm not sure if its from the chemo or adrenaline or if I'm really just embarrassed.

Naruto plays along. "Oh, the ever beautiful and hairless Princess Sakura," he cooes and flutters his eyelashes. I laugh and roll my eyes.

"You've only gotten one thing about me wrong." He grows serious, and I blink. What? He stares at the screen intensely. I don't understand. This isn't part of the plan.

"I'm not a prince," he states and several things happen at once: he jumps out of frame, the camera turns after him and he's revealed in a pretty, pink princess dress.

Now it's my turn to laugh.

"...What? What?! WHAT?!" I'm shouting in disbelief in between my fits laughter.

"So I can't go with you as your prince," He shouts and does a little twirl, and I see he even has a magic wand. "But I can go with you as your princess!"

I find myself struggling to find a word other than "what!" as I fall to the floor, clutching my stomach as I guffaw. Temari is sitting up and watching my reaction, a calm, knowing smile on her face.

"You traitor!" I shout and turn on her, but I'm still laughing as I crawl towards her. My tiara clatters to the floor without any hair to cling to.

"No," Gaara says on camera behind us, interrupting me, "Naruto knew something was up right away when I first started getting texts from her."

"It's true, Gaara is a terrible liar," Naruto chimes in and hits his red-headed friend on the head with his magic wand. Gaara winces and rubs his head.

"I'm worse than Sai," Gaara mumbles and I hear a "what?" in the background.

"Is Sai there, too?" I pop up, allowing myself to be seen on cam,

"Yes," I hear him call from somewhere in the room, "hello, Ugly."

I grit my teeth, but notice that I don't get so furious at the name calling anymore, but I can't help but feel a little self conscious. I grab a beanie and pull it on over my head.

"You look pretty," I tell Naruto, "You should actually wear that."

He curtsies, "I never turn down the opportunity to wear a dress." He jives his hips and runs his hands through his hair, "I always have the need to feel the breeze between my knees."

Gaara and Temari sigh disgustedly in unison, but I just smile. "Where'd you even get it, anyway?"

"Sometimes we have a couple of volunteers who come in to act as princesses and superheroes and the hospital provides the costumes," he tells me and plops back down next to Gaara. They adjust his camera and I can't stop smiling, amazed at what had just happened.

I guess I shouldn't have thought I could fool konoha's number one prankster. Even with a spur of the moment thing, he was still a step ahead of me. I watch him as he grins and tells me all about their "secret mission" to the costume closet that involved sneaking past Tsunade and swiping an orderlies ID. His eyes are bright and his cheeks are slightly flushed. He doesn't look anything like the unconscious boy I found on the floor last night.

My good mood fades as I allow myself to remember those terrifying, hushed moments as I waited for help on that cold, concrete floor.

"Wait," I interrupt his story, "Will you even feel well enough to go to prom with me?"

He raises his eyebrows and his mouth turns up into an amused smile, but his eyes are serious. "I could be asking you the same thing, Miss Chemotherapy."

As if the universe is mocking me, I'm hit with a bout of nausea. "Touché, Captain Seizure."

It almost feels too soon to joke about it, but sometimes joking about something like that will help you stop being so afraid of it. But then again, we're both probably just hiding our inner turmoil behind the mask of humor. I breathe deeply, waiting for my queasy stomach to uncoil.

"Hey, woah woah!" He says, oblivious to my discomfort and laughs, "have you seen kids' dance moves these days? You can't tell the difference between my seizing and their dancing."

"True!" I say, stroking my chin, "and if I end up lying in a puddle of my own puke, we can just play it off as me being super wasted from that super cool party that we were invited to because we're so super cool."

"Okay, well, now that I've been thoroughly used and forgotten, I'll be going," Temari says behind me and I turn to her, but she's still smiling. She looks down at herself, "Well, after I change out of this surprisingly well-fitting suit."

"Ah, Temari, you don't have to," I say and stand up, crossing over to her.

"Nah, you need your sleep," she studies at my face, "it was your chemo day and you need your beauty sleep for prom, right?"

"Sleep would be nice," I say quietly. "And you're right about prom,_ I don't want to disappoint my princess with my hideous face_!" I call louder, tilting my head to the camera.

"Not possible! Your hideous face is my favorite face!" He calls back and Temari and I roll our eyes.

"Always the charmer," she says.

. . .

"So are chocolate chip cookies one of your 'marked' foods?" Temari asks me on the way out the door. I give her a funny look.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, most patients have these foods that they've eaten or been around during or after chemotherapy treatments that they can never eat again without associating the food with the side-effects."

Well I'm just learning cancer culture left and right lately! "No, I don't think so. I just can't handle any food right now," I say. I'm quiet for a moment. "I hope to God chocolate chip cookies don't become a marked food. I would cry."

Temari chuckles and puts a hand on my shoulder, "Get some rest."

I watch until her car is completely out of sight. She's just so wonderful, I think to myself.

I'm almost positive that that's my last conscious thought, because I immediately shut the door, crawl upstairs, climb in bed, and fall into a much needed sleep.

* * *

_This chapter feels pretty short, but it really isn't that short! Oh, gosh, about the long wait... I'm kind of past apologizing. Life is going on and moving fast for me and graduation is right around the corner, but I'll finish this, "THAT IS MY NINJA WAY" I keep getting ideas for new narusaku fics and I keep wanting to start some but then I think "no, I have to finish what I start." You're welcome, you lucky, beautiful people._

_Also, I have a couple of one shots people have prompted me to write, do you want me to start a narusaku oneshot collection on here? I totally will. Totally. Totes._

_ONE MORE THING, go read "Senshi Games" and review it. I think I got 4 reviews with the newest chapter? It was a little sad. I love you all. Until next tiiiiiiime._


	21. Chapter 21

"Homework sucks so much," Ino groans and throws her math book to the ground. It flops spine down and flutters closed.

"Ino-san," Hinata admonishes lightly, "You shouldn't throw your books around like that. It's disrespectful."

"Well, as soon as my math books stop being disrespectful, I'll stop being disrespectful," she rolls off and looks at her nails. I snort.

"How are they being disrespectful?"

"They're existing, head," she says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Laughter fills my living room and I bristle.

"Why do you keep calling me 'head?'" I snap, annoyed with the new nickname that seemingly came from nowhere.

"Well, I was going to call you "forehead," but since you no longer have hair to distinguish your enormous forehead from your enormous head you have just become 'head.'" Ino smiles sweetly and my fists clench.

"Thank you _ever so much _for your consideration," I smile back.

"Hey, I could just call you Baldy," she shrugs and flutters her eyelashes at me.

"Oh yes, much better," I say, voice dripping with sarcasm, "Please do that."

"Okay," she leans forward, a malicious smile curling onto her mouth, _"Baldy."_

"I wish Ten-san was here, she's so good at math," Hinata sighs, breaking through our arguing and Ino and I look down at our unfinished work and groan in agreement.

"Calculus is the bane of my existence," I say and practically whimper when I look at how many problems I have left. Most of them I have no idea how to do and I really need someone to explain them. And as much as I love them and as thankful as I am for them coming over to help... Ino and Hinata are not much help. Hinata is phenomenal at literature and Ino's the best at chemistry out of the three of us And I used to be the bes twell rounded, but now it seems like I can't keep up in anything, academically wise. It's amazing how much cancer can like.. you know.. ruin your grades.

I just need Tenten to get here so I can understand this stupid god damn problem.

"Hinataaaa, do my hoomework," I whine, falling to my side slowly, papers and and my binder slipping off of my lap.

"Baldy, stop it," Ino snaps, "Hinata isn't your slave."

I sink into the couch, pouting. "Help me I have cancer." I stick out my booboo lip and flutter my eyelashes at her.

Hinata giggles and I smile at her; she's become so much more accustomed to the idea of me having cancer, she can even laugh at my jokes!

The doorbell rings and we all snap up.

"Tenten!" We cry and I fling the papers off of me and rush to the door. It probably isn't a good idea, since I'm still feeling drained and my energy is waning as the day goes on.

When I fling the door open a loose "Tenten!" falls from my lips. She's not there. No one is. There's nothing but the blue sky and my front lawn, littered with red and gold leaves.

"Hello," a small voice says below me and my gaze travels downward until it lands on a very small girl, who looks to be about 5 years old.

"Hello?" I greet tentatively, wondering what she's doing here. She has bright green eyes and strawberry blonde hair and looks vaguely familiar. The sound of car doors shutting jerks my attention to my driveway, a very unfamiliar car is parked with a very familiar man getting out of it.

"Now, Lily, you should have waited for us," he scolds gently but scoops the girl up lovingly into his arms.

"Sakura," he greets and his eyes meet my eyes. The same emerald green as mine.

I swallow down bile and address the man, "Hello, Dad."

. . .

I'm in a stiflingly warm bed with something cool draped over my forehead. I crack open an eye and am greeted with an unfamiliar ceiling. It's my mom's bed. _How did I get here?_ I think and try to sit up, but my head throbs painfully and I fall back down.

What happened? Didn't I have friends over, studying with me? My mouth is parched and I look toward the end table near the right of my mom's bed for a glass of water.

As I carefully drink I hear voices right outside the door. I strain to hear.

"Is she alright?" It's my mom. She's off of work already? How long was I out?

"I don't think so." It's Ino.

"It probably wasn't a very good idea to let her dad come over..."

My eyes snap wide as memories come flooding back to me.

My dad, the little girl, his family.

Oh god.

"Ino!" I call and struggle into a sitting position.

The door flies open and they rush in, my mom automatically kneeling down and taking my face in her hands, her eyes shine with tears.

"I'm sorry, baby," she chokes, "I should have never let him come here." She kisses my forehead, but I'm not paying attention, I'm looking at Ino in desperation.

"What happened?" I ask and my mom freezes her petting and cooing. Ino furrows her eyebrows.

"What do you mean what happened? You're the one who was there," she says coldly.

"I-I don't remember what happened," I say and rack my brain, but all I can bring up are images of the happy family standing foreignly in my doorway.

"There was a lot of shouting," Ino says, blue eyes cutting into me, "Are you sure you don't remember?"

"He had the _nerve_ to _shout _at her?" My mom seethes and tightens to her grip on me.

"No, the shouting was more one sided," she looks uncomfortable admitting this, "from Sakura's side."

I try to focus harder on my muddled thoughts as they discuss what Ino had heard. I've always had really good memory, so I find myself becoming more and more desperate at the lack of control of my mind. I get flashes of what happened, a face here, some words there, the shadow of a pain on my arm, but none of them ever really connect.

"Why is this happening?" I ask in a pitiful whine and frustrated tears blur my vision. My mom switches from angry Amazon Woman to loving parent in .2 seconds flat.

"Oh, honey, remember what Dr. Tsunade said about the side effects?" She kisses my head.

"That's not funny," I grumble and I feel her lips smile against my bare head.

"I didn't mean to be funny. She said that memory loss is not an uncommon side effect."

"Yeah, well I thought I'd be forgetting dates and names not _entire afternoons." _I snap.

"Maybe it was because things just got so emotional," Ino says softly and takes the glass from the stand, "Here, drink this."

My eyes snap wide as a dam breaks and a memory comes flooding back.

_"Can I get you guys anything to drink?" I ask through gritted teeth as they sit on the couch that had previously been occupied by my friends. I had told them that they could continue studying in my room while I spoke to my dad and his... Family. _

_Him and his girlfriend- "wife" have two kids and another one on the way. The very pregnant woman is sitting uncomfortably in my living room, bouncing their baby boy gently on her leg. I learned during our very tense introduction that his name is Mitsuko._

_"Some water for Rose," he calls back and I start to grab a glass from the when she calls to me._

_"No, really I'm fine! Thank you, though."_

_I slam the cupboard door shut and try to stifle the heat of my anger. I'm just so mad. Why is he here? Why now? Why did he bring them? _

_I try to have a neutral look on my face as I walk back into the living room. I don't want them to see how my dad is getting to me._

_"Mommy, why doesn't she have any hair?" Lily asks._

_"Lily-chan, shush," her mother smooths her hair down._

_"No, it's okay," I say, tugging my mouth into a smile. "I'm sick, and this sickness makes my hair fall out."_

_She gasps, "Am I gonna catch it?"_

_I laugh. "No."_

_She sighs in relief and smiles up at her mom and I realize that she looked familiar because her features are strikingly similar to mine. Save for the ginger hair and the large amount of freckles sprinkled over her nose and cheeks, she is definitely my sister. _

_A lump forms in my throat. I've always wanted a sister, but not like this. _

I don't take her offered water, instead I squeeze my eyes shut and try to pry out the rest of the memory.

_"Um, how... Are you doing with that?" My dad asks, sitting stiff like a board. It must be weird being back in his old house with a daughter so different from the one he left behind._

_"I'm doing great," I say sarcastically, "I mean, I've been puking non-stop for the past two days and I have no hair, but other than that Leukemia is great."_

_They shrink back into the couch and I allow myself to feel a moment of triumph. These people made my mom become lost inside her own mind for months. And the kids! He had had a child all along that we had never known about._

_A double life. He was living a double life. He probably thought after he left this one he would never have to come back. Surprise, surprise! His 17 year old daughter ended up having cancer. Oh, so sad. He actually has to pretend to give a shit. _

_I'm planted in the middle of the living room, too angry to sit._

"Sakura?" My mom asks, taking my hand in hers.

_"Sakura..." He mutters, eyes full of regret. "I'm s-"_

"Do you have a headache?" She asks and I shake my head and shush her. I need to focus.

_"No. No!" I cut him off and even I'm surprised by my intensity. "You're not going to apologize now! If you were ever going to apologize, you should have done it before you left!" I shout, pointing a pale finger at him. The boy starts crying in his mothers lap and she fearfully hushes him. "And now you've run back because dear old mom told you I'm gonna die!" He can't meet my eyes and I relish in that fact. "Wouldn't want me to die without apologizing! That way at my funeral you can pat yourself on the back and say "I'm a good father!"_

"_Now hold on a minute-"_

_"Does she know about your little problem?" I ask and I feel my hands tingling in adrenaline._

_"Sakura, don't-" his voice is measured but there's a quaking beneath his control that tells me he's moments away from exploding._

_"Do they know?" I raise my eyebrows and point to his children, the little boy is still crying and wiping at his wet eyes with sticky fingers. My father doesn't answer me, instead he has his lips set in a tight line and eyes that dare me to keep talking._

_He looks just like how I remember him so well. Except there's no alcohol on his breath and he isn't standing by the piano._

_"We're here to offer support and financial aid, if you and your mother need it," he says as though I hadn't threatened to tell his new family about his drinking problem. I feel like he might as well have a script in front of him._

_He obviously doesn't want to be here and I highly doubt it was his idea to drive down here in the first place. I turn my disbelieving glare to his wife and observe her for the first time and he notes my change in focus._

_"Ah, yes, Sakura-san, it was my idea to visit," the red-head says and puts on a wilted smile. _

_"Why?" My voice is sharper than I intend and she winces._

_"I couldn't stand the idea of..." She says quietly and averts her gaze, but not before I see tears fill her eyes. "You're so young." She crumples into soft sobs and her family is around her, comforting her. Even the toddler says "no cry."_

_There it is again, the whole age thing._

_"So are you," I hiss and she looks up at me with wide, watery eyes. "But you're still sleeping with my dad and squeezing out his pups."_

I gasp at the insult. Did I really say that?

"What?" Ino says, "Do you remember something?"

"Yes," I gasp again, my headache returning, "But it's difficult."

"Don't push yourself honey," my mom soothes, "You don't need to remember right away."

"What did you tell the bastard?" Ino asks, a malicious tone to her voice.

I laugh weakly, "It wasn't to him, it was to his wife. She told me I was too young to have cancer and I told her she was too young to 'squeeze out my Dad's pups.'"

Hushed laughter echoes from the hallway and we all look to find Tenten and Hinata duck out of sight. My mom turns back to glare at the headboard, lips set in a tight line.

"Don't be mad," I say quietly, tucking some of her graying pink hair back behind her ear. The familiar gesture on someone else fills me with a longing for my own hair.

"No worries, Mrs. H, we're leaving," Ino rolls off, standing up and stretching. "We just wanted to make sure she was okay."

My mom's expression softens, they _did_ stay with me when she wasn't home. "Thank you girls." She gets up and hugs Ino. Ino smiles and pats her back.

"You too, girls," My mom calls to the hallway and Tenten and Hinata shuffle in.

"I didn't do much," Tenten shrugs, but accepts my mom's hug anyway. While it's Hinata's turn to be subject of my mom's gratification, Tenten scoots over to me and leans down to whisper in my ear.

"Except all of your missing math homework," she sits up, winks at me and leaves the room.

"Get better, Sakura-chan," Hinata waves and smiles sincerely.

"I'll be back tomorrow to go dress shopping, so you better be well by then, Head, otherwise I swear to god I will make you wear whatever I choose," Ino sings as she makes her way to the door. I watch as they all disappear and my eyes fill with more tears, but these aren't angry tears. They're happy tears. My dad may suck and I may be sick, but at least I have the most wonderful friends.

My mom smiles easily at me, "Well, I'm sure you've had enough excitement for one day."

_"That is enough," my dad barks and stands up, leaving his shocked wife alone on the couch. "You can hate and insult me all you want, but you will not speak to Rose in that way." _

_I grit my teeth and shove away the urge to rake my nails down his face._

_"You never answered my question," I snap, openly shaking now and I'm sure my face is flushed "Do they know about you? About who you can become?"_

_"What is she talking about?" She asks meekly on the couch, wiping at her eyes._

_"Nothing," he practically shouts. He grabs my arm to start to dragging me into the kitchen. His grasp is too strong and it hurts my already sensitive skin. I fight back and jerk my arm from his grasp with surprising violence._

My mom kisses my forehead and leaves me, unaware of my tight grip on the sheets. I know it'll probably just make me upset again, but I squeeze my eyes shut and try to remember the rest.

_"Do you have a special cabinet? Have you gotten so intoxicated that you laid hands on her right in front of your own child?" I'm shouting now. There's a lump in my throat that threatens to choke me._

_A pained look crosses his face and a choked voice tears from his throat, "I never wanted to hurt you."_

_I snort bitterly. "Yeah, A+ job, Dad."_

_Tears flood my vision and I stride to the door, "Thank you ever so much for your concern, but I've been fatherless and fine for a while now and having cancer won't change that."_

_Rose sweeps her children into her arms and leaves. As she passes me I notice that silent tears still streaming down her face. My eyes are staring right back at me in fear as Lily is carried from my house. I see myself in her and I don't like it._

_My father floats in the middle of the living room, no longer looking angry, he looks pained and conflicted._

_"Please, just go," I say shakily and I can feel that I'm moments away from bursting._

_"Sakura-"_

_"GO!" I scream and the tears I had been fighting burn a path down my face. I'm just so angry and I can't hold it back anymore._

Tears stream down my face in real time and my headache is increased ten fold. No wonder my body tried to make me forget this.

_I don't see him leave as I sink to the floor, letting sobs rack my frame. Why couldn't he have stayed? Why didn't I have a dad who really loved me? Why did my life go this way and why the hell did it take fucking cancer to get him to apologize? _

_All of the mental bruises he has left on my mom and me will never fade._

_I hate him I hate him I hate him._

_"Again, and don't forget the arpeggio this time."_

_I hate him I hate him I hate him._

_"You don't open your mouth unless I say so, do you understand?"_

_I hate him I hate him I hate him._

_"Who hid my liquor?!" _

_I hate him I hate him I hate him._

_"I'm leaving."_

_I hate him I hate him I hate him._

_"This is my wife, Rose. I'm sorry."_

I hate him.

_. . ._

While I'm making my way up the stairs to bed after a quick, light dinner, I'm hit with another, final memory.

_I'm numbly aware of soft hands lifting me up from my crumpled position and the sound of whispering voices around me. _

_"Sakura, honey," I hear and warm fingertips as light as feathers wipe at my face. "Are you okay?"_

_I ponder the question. What is okay anymore? Who decides whether or not a person is "okay?" Is it a state of being neutral or is it something more than that? Hiccups rack my body and my head pounds as I consider my answer._

_"No."_

* * *

_Hello, readers. Sorry about the wait blah blah blah yadda yadda you know the drill. I'm graduating high school in less than a month so things have been pretty hectic. This chapter is pretty short, too. Ugh. I'm just gonna leave this here and hope you don't hate me. Leave me love. Or hate. Oh god, don't do that actually._


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